Whine & Cheese

Amateur Hour Photo Critique: Holiday Edition!

It's baaaack!

Yes, nothing says "the holidays" like a little amateur porn!

The last edition of this W&C "feature" was waaaay back in April... so just a reminder, this is where I have some fun with some of the naughty pictures guys take of themselves and post somewhere on the Internet.  Past editions have highlighted many of my "amateur" pet peeves... sure a guy can be hot, but a dirty mirror or laundry on the floor can be pretty distracting!.

This special Holiday Edition is a pet peeve in and of itself!   I think it is just hilarious that guys feel the need to spread the holiday joy by exposing themselves in front of the tree or using some holiday decor as a means of "hiding the goods."

I know this post is NOT everyone's cup of egg nog... so I have made the visual portion of this post to be entirely voluntary... if you want to see the pic, click the link and the picture will "pop-up" ...

As always, I have obscured the faces and explicit parts to protect the guilty... so while rated PG-21, I am guessing it is still NOT terribly "work safe."

So here are this year's collection of holiday cheer... again, you've been warned!

Most Improved Award - This guy was nice enough to post holiday pictures from 2004 and 2005!   I give him "most improved" for various reasons... the tree is much more nicely decorated but I am happier that he appears to have moved his computer out of the living room... and, oh yeah, he is showing more skin this year!

Don we now our... - Ok, I would say "gay apparel"... but I am afraid it would be a major insult to gay people.  Umm, is paisley still in?   Or was he just trying to color coordinate with his tree?  I am guessing Madonna's "Vogue" was on during this photo shoot... does he know how to "strike a pose" or what?!

Ho! Ho! Ho! - Not really wrong with this picture... while not a terribly inspired use of a Santa hat, I tend to give a lot more leeway when the person donning the cap looks like this!

Take It Off Santa! - Again, no complaints about this picture... except for the impure thoughts in my head... I've been naughty Santa... VERY naughty!

Hung By The Chimney - This guy easily had the most explicit holiday pictures of the year.  There were just a few that even I couldn't even figure out how to edit (let's just say one of them could have been a pun on 'O Come O Ye Faithful')... this guy was just fearless... but given the size of the "black boxes," you can probably guess why he wasn't terribly shy... and thanks to the butt shot, I am happy to report his prostate seems to be in perfect condition!  Yikes!

Ribbons & Bows -  Do you like unwrapping presents... these guys hope so.   Now, the first guy was a bit too... ummm, cocky...  to think he needed a bow THAT big... and heck he was poking thru anyhow! While, the 2nd guy seems to be on the set of 'That 70s Show'... very retro (probably his mom's house, which makes the pic even more strange!)...  but Donald Duck is certainly getting an eyeful!

All Is Bright -  This is another fairly popular one... strewing lights about you... I don't know about you, but I am not quite sure I would want live electricity quite that close to my nether regions!

Pump You Up -  We'll end on a good note... again nothing wrong with our Kris Kringle here... but I just would have loved to have been in on the decision here.... let's see I am walking around the living room naked except for my baseball cap on, why don't I take a pic in front of the tree?!?   Why don't I get photo holiday cards in the mail like this one???

Don't worry.... I plan on returning tomorrow with a tamer and more traditional holiday post... are you ready to read all about our holiday menu?!!   Hold the applause down, please!

Bad Gay, Good Gay

Although I am certainly feeling peer pressure, I have to admit, on a scale of 1-10, my enthusiasm level to see Bareback Brokeback Mountain is about a 5.  Don't know why, it just is.

But before you excommunicate me from Our Lady of Judy Garland...

I am seeing a production of Evita on Friday night.

Carry on.

No, Fine... Just Looking

I will tell you all about Thanksgiving and holiday preparations on Monday (I hope!), but just had to share a pretty funny experience that happened to me today...

Just a little bit of a warning, it is a tad risque... but since Todd left yesterday for an out of the country business trip for the week, I just have no one else to tell it to!   But don't get too excited, I am keeping it fairly PG-13.

So, I decided to take a run to the "sensual superstore" today.  In the past, we've had to drive into Phoenix to get to the major one that is not around any other major businesses, homes, schools, civilization.  But recently, and after some serious controversy over worries of it "ruining the neighborhood," one was built right here in the middle of suburbia.  To give you an idea, it is on the opposite corner of a Baja Fresh and an Olive Garden and Petsmart is just about 1/4 mile down the road... so you can run all your "everyday" errands and also pop in here in one convenient trip!

Anyhow, I needed to run in to get the one item that always needs gettin' ... but have been threatening to look around the place a bit more and see what else they have to offer.  So with Todd gone and being bored...  I had some time to kill... so what the heck, right?!

This has to be the friendliest adult store in the world... you are always warmly greeted at the door.  Well, actually they are checking for underage kids... or like one time I was there, when a couple had the balls to enter the store with an infant in a carrier!  So the gal said hello and asked me how my day was... hi... fine ... and off I went browsing.

There was a middle age couple looking around the same section I was... so despite thinking that this is an "we're all consenting adults" and "not that's there's anything wrong with it" experience, I admit that it was still a tad awkward bobbing and weaving past them around the different displays.

But the kicker was in about 5-10 minutes time, 3 different employees came by both myself and this couple and asked if we needed any help.  Again, super friendly and really quite genuine... but I think both of us were like... ummm, that's okay... we're fine... leave us alone... pretty please... as we weren't exactly at Target trying to find where the Q-Tips were.   Well, just let's us know if you have any questions.  Umm... okay, thanks!

In the meantime, another middle age woman is walking around the aisles and talking on a cell phone!  Thankfully the conversation had nothing to do with what she was looking at ... just some innocuous chatter, but I wondered if the person on the other end of the line knew where she was... probably as most folks I find usually like to announce their location (I'm on the airplane we just pulled in, I'm at the ballpark, I am taking a dump in the a bathroom at Caesars Palace).

Anyhow, after being overwhelmed by a dizzying array of products, I make my selection and go off to pay.  There is a gal and a guy employee at the counter.  Again, very warmly greeted... how are you today... did I find what I was looking for... yeah, yeah.  Then the gal starts admiring my purchase and says she hasn't seen it before... the guy cuts in (at this point I am 95% sure he is "family") and they start talking all about what I am buying... at this point, I likely have my frozen/fake smile on... the guy gives the stamp of approval to the item... blah, blah... and oy... I am just looking to pay and get out of there! 

Alas it is over... the guy walks my purchase past the alarmed gates... and both wish me a nice day and happy holidays!   Bye, I say... and think it is quite funny, that I got more "assistance" (or the threat of it!) in about 15 minutes time than I did in about the 2 hours I spent waiting for someone to sell me a car at the MINI dealership!

Random Friday Ramblings

We built this beautiful new stadium and no one shows up! 

That is what the folks in Shanghai have been saying this week. It has not been a good first year for the brand spanking new Qi Zhong Stadium.  The stadium is supposed to resemble a magnolia blossom... and even cooler yet, the roof is retractable!

But the stadium is probably the biggest attraction at this year's Tennis Masters Cup - the big year-ending event on the professional men's tennis tour.

The event is supposed to feature the Top 8 players of the year in a round-robin event.  Astonishingly enough, 3 of those 8 either did not make over to China due to injury/personal reasons and 2 more withdrew prior to or shortly after their first match.  The ATP Tour is having a hard time explaining this to tournament officials... calling it a "perfect storm" and promising there will likely not be a repeat any time soon. 

I am guessing those who do not follow tennis likely are more familiar with the players NOT playing... Rafael Nadal, Andy Roddick, Lleyton Hewitt, Andre Agassi, and Marat Safin... than those who ARE on the court.  So the Cup is pretty much just left with #1 Roger Federer, who has been a bit hobbled with an ankle injury of his own.  Heck, even as a pretty rabid tennis fan, I am finding it hard to muster up some enthusiam over a Nikolay Davydenko vs. Mariano Puerta match!

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What exactly did Jennifer Aniston do to be named "Woman of the Year"?  Well, except to agree to be photographed on the cover of a men's magazine with half a breast exposed.

Despite being accused of some recent Jen bashing in my household, I really do like her just fine... she genuinely seems like a nice person and I do think she is quite a attractive.  It is just every so often, I experience some "Jen fatigue."  Like when news of the divorce from Brad Pitt hit... or during the never-ending "Friends is ending" media coverage... or when she got married to Brad Pitt... or when "the Rachel" hair-do was all the rage... but other than those times, I really don't mind her at all... seriously!

Now she has publicly handled the divorce with all the grace and dignity you can ask ... but I just tired of seeing her have to dance around the topic on every single talk show in the country (and also her new non-relationship with Vince Vaughn)... it is really no one's business, despite these talks shows trying to convince us otherwise.

But Woman of the Year?  Now, I realizes this is not Time Magazine... so it is of no real consequence... more of a marketing ploy... but c'mon she got a divorce, made a movie (or two), and had to go on the press junket from hell... is this really an accomplishment?  Now, Angelina Jolie wooing Pitt away from America's Sweetheart... now that's doing something!

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Note to future Survivors:  You want to keep the annoying guy!

It was another classic Survivor repeat blunder on last night's show.  With all the tribe shuffling, I have lost track of who was on what tribe... but going into the merge it was 6 vs. 4... the plan (as it always is) is for the 6 to get rid of 4 before turning on each other.  But this never ends up happening... and "the plan" got thrown to the curb again last night.

Now I could certainly sympathize with the Survivors, we only saw part of Jamie's paranoic ramblings on last night's show and I was rolling my eyes and thinking to myself "shuuuut the ff&$#ck up" ... but this is the under-rated "survival" part of Survivor.  Sure the elements, lack of food, physical contests, being away from your family are all tough... but keeping around a person you (and no one else!) can't stand ultimately ends up being the one challenge most Survivor contestants fail at.

I think anyone could have won in the finale over Jamie.  Heck, even Lydia... who Probst just stopped short of calling a "capital-L" Loser during last night's challenges.

Now, we'll just see if the women are smart enough to take advantage of this abandonment of the 6 vs. 4 plan.  The ladies now have a 4-3 advantage... pick off each of the guys.... barring an individual immunity the following week the original trio of Steph, Cindy and Lydia then knock out Danni... Steph and Cindy battle it out to take Lydia to the final and take the crown.  Easy, huh?  But we all know that is not going to happen... it never does!

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Finally (!!), Oprah's topic yesterday was When I Knew I Was Gay. 

Well, actually the first half hour was devoted to that specific topic... with the remainder of the show focused on an 18 year old lesbian dealing with her mother's not-so wonderful reaction to her relationship with a 21 year old "I never was attracted to another woman before her" girlfriend (in the name of Anne Heche, run young girl run!)

So that got me thinking... when did I know?  "Know" not being acceptance or action (that's a whole other post...or not!). 

But one memory does stand out to me... and as embarrassing as it is, I guess I will fess up.  One time when I was shopping for spiral-bound single-topic notebooks for the new school year, I remember being drawn to one featuring a shirtless Dirk Benedict of Battlestar Galatica... well, not he had a sweater with the sleeves thrown over his shoulders and tied together over his chest (quite the fashion statement, huh?).  Not this picture here... which is really quite more gay than this particular notebook cover (don't you just love the unbuttoned denim shorts?).  The funny thing is I don't even remember if I watched the show... but Dirk was pretty hunky at the time.  So how old did that make me... well a quick check shows Battlestar aired in 1978... so that would have made me 10 or 11.

But I am sure I "knew" well before that... flipping through 70s pictures to find that Dirk picture stirred up some other memories.  I seem to remember being a fan of Nancy Drew (played by future Dynasty star, Pamela Sue Martin), but having a pull towards the Hardy Boys (Shaun Cassidy and Parker Stevenson)... both of those were circa 1977... and I think I was even guilty of getting an issue of Tiger Beat (or two)... so gay, gay, gay, gay...  I guess I should stop my mental teasing of Carson Kressley!

Amateur Hour Photography Critique: Volume 2

Ok some Friday fun and time for another round of making having hopefully a little bit of a laugh with some "naughty" amateur pix... if you missed Volume 1 you can check it out here.

Just a reminder... I have blocked out the faces to protect the guilty... as well as any nudity... that said, clicking on the links below will "pop-up" a picture that may NOT be 100% "work" safe.

I thought it would be a bit difficult to keep this going... but apparently there is not a shortage of questionable choices when it comes to amateur photography... so here we go...

Insert Pussy Joke Here - Another of my amateur pic pet peeves is ... well, including your pet you in the photo!  I know this can happen... pets tend to be interested in what you are doing and follow you around... but when it does purposely I have more of a problem with it.  And let's face it, this kitty can NOT be very comfortable in this picture!

Medusa? - Here is another example of being careful what your background is when you are taking a picture.  I am guessing it was not this guy's intention to have it look like candles and ironwork were coming out of his head.

Strong Shelves, I Hope - This picture makes me a bit nervous... no, it has nothing to do with the guy in his tighty-whiteys on the bed... but could you sleep soundly if there were that many books and other crap piled quite high on shelves right above your head!?!

Invite Me Over For Brunch! - Nothing wrong with this photo... granted I think it is a strange time to snap a photo -- getting dressed in the middle of the living room.  But what caught my attention here was the food on the countertop... quite the spread and it all looks yummy!

Time to Clean The Bathroom - Oh boy... this one is a mess... literally!   While I admit to occasionally leaving an oft-used personal hygiene product out on the bathroom counter... there is just waaay too much crap here.   Mouthwash, shaving cream, soap, deodorant, toothbrush, vitamins, aspirin... and those are thing things I can identify!!  To top it off, the mirror is filthy!!  But at least this guy does not commit the amateur faux paus of holding the camera to his face and it being a picture of himself taking a picture of himself ... got that?

Naked in the Woods - Well, this picture would be okay if this guy was outside... however when the tree and butterflies are painted on the bedroom wall... maybe you should re-consider your setting!  A bit inappropriate if it is a kid's bedroom... and if it is his bedroom (don't worry he's listed at age 27 years old AND... a top!), I think a paint job is long overdue!

That's all for now.  We'll see if I have any troubled coming up with some more... but since I already have my first candidate for next time, I pretty confident there will be a Volume 3!

AI4: "Not That There's Anything Wrong With That" News Edition

Boy, just a whole lot of gay-related news swirling around American Idol-land... here are scoops and links!

Current Idol contestant Anwar Robinson has been outed by AfterElton.com -- guess he wasn't really keeping it a "secret."

That most trusted of sources, The National Enquirer, says the reason Mario Vazquez left the show this season was that another contestant was threatening to out him.  In an added twist, Mario also hired Clay Aiken's lawyer... while many hinted this might have something to do with the sexually ambiguous Season 3 runner-up, general thought it was more for legal advice on dealing with those reportedly "sign your life away" AI contracts?

Openly gay Season 1 contestant Jim Verraros has a whole new look and is releasing an album of dance/club music. Verraros has also appeared in the gay indie film Eating Out.

Gay-fave from Season 3, Kimberley Locke is shopping around a reality series called "Aren't You That Girl?" which would follow Locke as she heads back into the studio to record her second album and get married to Don Campbell.

Finally, recently ousted Mikalah Gordon (and drag queen/fag hag wannabe) is not being shy about wanting to land a role on a sitcom...  no shocker that she mentions Fran Drescher's new show.

Amateur Hour Photography Critique: Volume 1

With a basic digital camera so affordable these days, it seems like nearly everyone has one... or if they don't they probably have a cell phone that takes pictures.  And so the "popularity" of taking risque and publicly posting pictures of oneself has exploded as well.  Gay men, in particular, seem pretty open to this activity... kind of makes sense since the general belief is that men (hetero or gay) are more visually oriented. 

So finding an "amateur" website on the Web is not a challenging task at all.  While I am not a big proponent of "you've seen one, you've seen them all" - you definitely start noticing other things. 

Although I don't do it all that much these days, I think I am a fairly good photographer.  People tell me I have "the eye" and my other half can tell you many a story where I waited (and waited and waited) to get "the right shot."  And if I couldn't get the right shot, photography-oriented software has been one of my favorite things to tinker with (improving the lighting, cropping, etc.). 

So I am going to do a little combo of the two... looking at some "naughty" amateur pics and doing a little photo composition crticism.  Why did you take a picture there?  Are you trying to get on home improvement show? 

I can't take credit for this idea... there was a website that was totally devoted to this type of "analysis"... I forgot its name, but it was pretty fun... so hope they don't mind that I borrowed the concept.

Now, the faces have been blocked to protect the guilty... and similiarly I have "black-boxed" out any nudity.  That said, I am presenting these pics as "pop-ups" for a reason... nudity is well-implied tho, so I do NOT consider these to be work-safe.

Are you ready?  Click on the link to pop-up the picture:

Got Wood (Paneling)? - I am not exactly sure what this guy in the speedo was thinking. He is not centered in the picture, so I think the object was to show off this lovely wood paneling and that he has no place to store his CD collection. Likewise, note the area around his feet -- obviously he had to move a very heavy circular object in order to pose in that exact spot.

Harnessing Electricity? - There's not too much wrong with this 20-something, especially if you are an aficionado of leather harnesses.  While my initial focus was on the subject at hand, there was eventually a distraction.  Good idea to take a pic against a blank wall ... but ideally you would have unplugged the cords (going off somwhere outside of the picture's range) and had your leg cover up the outlet.

How *Not* To Improve An Already Ugly Couch - Nothing wrong with taking a nap on the couch au natural (ok, he probably wasn't sleeping... just pretending to) - but man this couch has go to go!  The crocheted blanket only adds to the design disaster... and what would Grandma think?!  If you love the couch too much at least go out and consider a nice slip cover!

Shutting the Closet - Let's see...  my closet could probably qualify for disaster relief funds, clothes all over my un-made bed and strewn about... I know, I'll take a naked pic of myself!! I admit to not being the neatest person in the world, but what a mess... or maybe it was just laundry day?!

Cleaning the Counter Top? - A pretty nice kitchen, but a bit cluttered don't you think?  That is if you can get beyond the naked man on the countertop!  Now I have seen the sit on the counter top pose, but not quite this completely horizontal take.   Hope they had some Lysol Santizing Wipes for afterwards!

Separation of Church & State (of Undress) - Counter top man strikes again... a pretty cute pic... always a fan of using the cowboy hat to cover up the privates... but this is an example of one one of my biggest amateur photo pet peeves - if you are going to take a naked or semi-naked picture of yourself, you should try your best to avoid the crucifix being part of the picture.

That's all for now.  As you see, I dubbed this post "Volume 1"... so it will probably be a semi-regular feature here on W&C.... research, research, research.  Tough task!

Free Willy

Thanks to the Beaverhausen Blog for making my Monday a little brighter with the links to these pix...

Prince William has taken up water polo! And no sir, not with those aerodynamic full-body swimsuits that are the rage these days among competitive swimmers...folks, we have speedo!

So here are some links... which a) make me feel 49% dirty man for actually remembering when he was a baby and b) 51% for making me feel... ummm... something else...

Will in the pool
Out of the pool...holding the ball
Full frontal speedo
The Royal Bum...almost

Gym Music

Since there was no American Idol on last night (though I did see this one guy do quite a bit of dancing), I thought I would still keep today's blog entry music oriented. I have been to the gym 2 times in the past 4 days (quite the record of late)...and my workout would not be complete with my MP3 player.

With a little hesitation, I thought it would be interesting to disclose the songs that I work out to. My fear was that it would be "too gay"...but then it crossed my mind that I should have thought of that before I started blogging! But let's face it - gay-cons like Cher and Madonna are good workout music material...

So here's the current playlist... I hit shuffle and jotted them down:

"Get Down Tonight" - KC and the Sunshine Band
"The Shoop Shoop Song (It's In His Kiss)" - Cher
"Whenever, Whereever" - Shakira
"Vogue" - Madonna
"My Love Don't Cost A Thing" - JLo
"Rock Your Body" - Justin Timberlake
"It's My Life" - Bon Jovi
"Got To Be Real" - Cheryl Lynn
"The Rising" - Bruce Springsteen
"I'm Gonna Get You Good" - Shania Twain
"Midnight Train to Georgia" - Gladys Knight & The Pips
"Sweet Dreams" - Eurythmics
"Don't Tell Me" - Madonna
"Walking on Broken Glass" - Annie Lennox
"Half Breed" - Cher
"Why Can't I?" - Liz Phair
"Believe" - Cher
"Intuition" - Jewel
"Everywhere" - Michelle Branch
"Missionary Man" - Eurythmics
"Long Time Gone" - Dixie Chicks
"I Drove All Night" - Celine Dion
"Sledgehammer" - Peter Gabriel
"One Week" - Bare Naked Ladies
"If I Wanted To" - Melissa Etheridge
"This Kiss" - Faith Hill
"Kiss" - Prince
"Up" - Shania Twain
"Deeper and Deeper" - Madonna
"Smooth" - Santana w/ Rob Thomas
"All Things Just Keep Getting Better" - Wide Life
"Crazy in Love" - Beyonce
"Into the Groove" - Madonna
"Come to my Window" - Melissa Etheridge
"Drops of Jupiter" - Train
"3 AM" - Matchbox 20
"Strong Enough" - Cher
"Even Better Than The Real Thing" - U2
"That Don't Impress Me Much" - Shania Twain
"River of Dreams" - Billy Joel
"Suspicious Minds" - Dwight Yoakum
"Fighter" - Christina Aguilera
"Soak Up The Sun" - Sheryl Crow
"Walking on Sunshine" - Katrina & The Waves
"Breathe" - Michelle Branch
"Keep Your Hands To Yourself" - Georgia Satellites
"Pavement Cracks (MacQuayle Mix)" - Annie Lennox
"Hard to Handle" - Black Crowes
"Always On My Mind" - Pet Shop Boys
"Hey Leonardo (She Likes Me For Me)" - Blessed Union of Souls
"Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves" - Cher
"Elevation" - U2
"Can't Get You Out of My Head" - Kylie Minogue
"Lady Marmalade" - Moulin Rouge soundtrack
"One Last Breath (Six Feet From The Edge)" - Creed
"Maria" - Ricky Martin
"Steve McQueen" - Sheryl Crow

Pretty darn eclectic I think... spanning musical genres and the past three decades!

What's your favorite music to workout to? I am always looking for new stuff to add into the mix.

Coming Soon: Big Brother! The Amazing Race!! Dunkleman???

A couple of TV tidbits from Zap2It to start off the week:

'Big Brother,' 'Amazing Race' Return in July

Although I knew that two of my favorite reality shows were scheduled to be back this summer, it was still nice to read about it in print! Big Brother is the guiltiest of pleasures...while if I was forced (and it would be by force dammit!) to limit myself to one reality show it would be The Amazing Race.

There is a little crossover between the two shows this season...the "good" news is that they will be airing back-to-back on Tuesday nights (with BB getting its traditional two more airings per week)... the bad news BB4's Alison and her footballer-boyfriend Donnie will be one of the teams on TAR5. Remember finalist Alison or had you almost (like myself) managed to repress her from your memory? She was last year's runner-up but was most well known for flirting with almost every guy on the show...then running off and crying about hurting her boyfriend Donnie...but recovering quickly enough to straddle some other guy five minutes later. I know its part of the "game"...but she was still pretty annoying beyond this "strategy." I will have to come up with some of my own reality TAR "dream" teams some time.

Another site also unveiled a new feature for TAR5...which I am sure host Phil will happily define for us each week...it is called "the yield." Like the fast-forward, teams will have a one-time opportunity to delay a team that is on its heels. This should
be pretty juicy...tensions get high on this show and I can only imagine how pissed off teams will be when they are purposely delayed by the competition.

VH1 Will Test Celebs' 'Gaydar'

Is America's new favorite pastime trying to figure out who is straight or gay? Apparently so (though the producers of Playing It Straight may tell you otherwise), VH-1 entering the "game" with a twist on "To Tell The Truth" where a "celebrity" panel will grill contestants to determine their sexual preference.

Who's hosting... American Idol ex-co-host Brian Dunkleman! Yes, the very man who left (was let go?) after season one because (I believe) he did not want to be pigeon-holed as a game-show host...and thus allowed Ryan Seacrest to take over the world! But heck who knows, maybe he is on to something...before Survivor Jeff Probst's greatest claim to fame was hosting VH-1's "Rock 'n Roll Jeopardy."

The Real Southwest? / Introducing the F.A.G. List

Caught up on a couple of episodes of A&E's Airline last night...this is the reality-documentary show that follows Southwest Airlines' staff and passengers as they cope with traveling challenges...and often with each other. Who "wins" is anyone's guess... I can't imagine anyone watching this show and not think twice about booking a flight on Southwest. I have flown Southwest several times (mostly short jaunts to Vegas) and I have never had any problems with them...but despite being one of the few successful carriers out there this show more often than not shows them in a poor light.

But is it the airlines or the type of passengers they seem to draw? Do I want to be sharing a seat with a passenger that is a) drunk, b) rude, c) senile, d) wacky, or e) all of the above. The show makes you think that 85% of passengers fall into one of these categories. But I guess boring passengers like me don't make for good airplay on a TV show. So I will continue to be amused by the show...until something like what happens on the show every week plays out for me in real life.

I just imagine Yolanda has risen to rock star status by now over at LAX...she seems pretty cool!
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As another added service to my blog, I thought I would help out the poor folks who land on this site thanks to a search engine a little bit more. Why they click on what is obviously a blog is a totally different issue!

I have already created an index of my American Idol-related blog entries - by far the most popular search topic ever for my blog.

But there are other topics...well actually men...that bring folks to my blog over and over and over again. So I figured I would do my best to answer their search requests. So I introduce my F.A.G - Frequently Asked (by) Googlers (also referenced on the sidebar to the right).

The first two honorees into my F.A.G Hall of Fame:
Josh Duhamel and Nate Berkus

QAF Cover Boys / Idol Odds / Gotta Love Jessica

The gay media machine is already in overdrive about the return of Showtime's Queer As Folk 4th season premiering April 18th. The most popular gay rags have interviews with on-air couple Robert Gant (Ben) on Out and Hal Sparks (Michael) on The Advocate....but don't fall for the false advertising on the cover...

Out shouts "His Most Revealing Photos Ever!"... but turn to the interview and the hunky Gant is quite dressed up but has nude models around him (one even with a [gasp!] woman)...still sexy, but not what I was hopin' for. The Advocate boldly predicts the Sparks piece is "the interview you've waited four years for"...but what a eye-popper, the interview piece features the hetero-but-homo-friendly Sparks with only a rainbow flag slyly hiding his privates.

So what do we learn? Sparks thinks Gant is a pretty good kisser, while Gant acknowledges that he and Queer Eye's Kyan Douglas "are just getting to know each other right now" but not much else. Imagine all the product used in that house! At least they probably shave in the right direction.... oh boy, won't go there!
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Ready for our first look at the Final 12 American Idol contestants? If you are looking for probable eject-ees... the money seems to be on legend-in-her-own-mind Leah LaBelle and cocky footballer Matt Rogers ... both are "leading" the current Entertainment Weekly departure polls (45% for LaBelle, 27% for Rogers... everyone else in single digits), while professional odds-makers online have also placed that duo on top of their dark horse list... Labelle 31:1, Rogers 26:1.

Are Fantasia, LaToya, and Diana already destined to be the Top 3?
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Jessica Simpson is at it again... this one from Richard Leiby's "Reliable Source" column at The Washington Post:

Simpson, whose verbal gaffes are legendary, pulled another one Sunday visiting the White House, our sources say. The singer was introduced to Interior Secretary Gale Norton and gushed: "You've done a nice job decorating the White House."

Gayer.... Totally!

There is that joke that "my TiVo thinks I'm gay"...a quick gander of our "Now Playing" list on Saturday morning left little doubt...

Totally Gayer - Yet another one of those compulsively watchable, but instantly forgettable, VH-1 specials and the sequel to the aptly titled "Totally Gay." As I just said, can't really remember all that much about it...but it was bubble gum fun...as one of the "expert" panelists said it is totally a different world for kids growing up today with gay folks heavily littering TV and movie screens. All I remember from my youth was Billy Crystal on "Soap" and John Ritter's Jack Tripper "playing gay" on "Three's Company"... no wonder it took me so long to come out!

Playing It Straight - Pretty conflicted about this one as I was with Bravo's original take, Boy Meets Boy (or "Playing It Gay"). What we learned on the premiere episode was that a hair dryer is the "gayest" thing a man can own (btw, I don't own one)... half the show seemed obsessed with this very issue as our gal Jackie tried to ferret out the gay men in order to land $500k. Poor Jackie was just in tears over being lied to (yes, LIED TO!) by the gay guys just trying to win money (if she picks gay the guy gets $1 million, if she picks straight she splits $1 million w/ her hetero). I could totally empathize, who would ever expect to be "lied to"...on a reality show...on Fox?!?! Jackie's gaydar probably needs to go back to the shop as she tossed off two straight guys (out of 14 candidates) in the end...after an elimination process that made American Idol's results show seem speedy...

Will & Grace - Poor Debra Messing... with months to go on her pregnancy I am thinking the show will soon have to be presented in letterbox! Not a stellar episode (but that is pretty much the case these days), but nonetheless it was fun to see Edie Falco play something other than Carmela Soprano.

Queer Eye - A little backed up on episodes here...but decided to "skip ahead" and watch the latest episode featuring USA pairs skater, John Zimmerman...still the hottie I remember from the Olympics! For the first time in QE history no physical makeover to really speak of...even Kyan was having some hair envy...but I think even a pedicure could not do much for that poor guy's feet...do ice skates be officially re-classified as some sort of torture device?! Though a little slow on some things (he hasn't learned any of the language or traditions of his Italian honey over 6 years of dating and 4 months of marriage?), he certainly was not lacking much in the romance department. Heck, his interpretation of the pretty awful "paper art" was a lot more gag-worthy than most of the "advice" that Jai comes up with (and that is saying something!).

Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica - Okay, not explicitly gay-themed except for the thoughts that go through our heads whenever Mr. Lachey is on the screen. We are finally well into Season 2 - though a still handful of episodes behind. Still very amused by the show, though had to spit up a bit finding out that Jessica's birthday wrist-watch gift to Nick cost more than I made salary-wise for all of last year!

Gay Marriage Quotes From Sarah Jessica and... Thomas Jefferson

I have been meaning to get to this blog for awhile...as the gay marriage debate rages on, I heard a couple of great quotes from Sarah Jessica Parker and Thomas Jefferson (I think I'll have the only Google search hit on that couple!).

First, let's take a look at SJP who was asked about her thoughts about gay marriage while appearing on Larry King Live. Here's her response:

"Oh, jeez! You know, I feel like people in this country who feel really strongly about a man and a woman being the only -- the sole sort of gatekeeper of marriage should also support people staying together. I mean, a lot of heterosexual couples don't stay together, and I think that's as upsetting as two people who are really committed and loving and have been monogamous for many years wanting to be married and share some of the same rights that this country is so uniquely qualified to give people."

I think SJP really hits it on the head dubbing the "antis" some "sole sort of gatekeeper" but more so, and showing real patriotism, speaks of how "this country is so uniquely qualified" to grant rights to its citizens.
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Okay, so Thomas Jefferson probably never dreamed his words to Samuel Kercheval on July 12, 1810 would be used in relation to gay marriage. But the quote simply gave me goosebumps in how it truly relates to the issue at hand. Thanks to Sir Ian McKellan who brought this to my attention on his recent appearance on Real Time With Bill Maher.

This is the original Jefferson passage - a modified version is etched in stone as panel four at the Jefferson Memorial in Washington DC.

"I am certainly not an advocate for frequent and untried changes in laws and constitutions. I think moderate imperfections had better be borne with; because, when once known, we accommodate ourselves to them, and find practical means of correcting their ill effects.

But I know also, that laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind. As that becomes more developed, more enlightened, as new discoveries are made, new truths disclosed, and manners and opinions change with the change of circumstances, institutions must advance also, and keep pace with the times.

We might as well require a man to wear still the same coat which fitted him when a boy, as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors."

Wow! What else is there to say?! Please feel free spread this nearly 200-year old quote around...

Mr. President please check this out for yourself. If you are not sure where to go...just climb up to the roof of your house...Look for that tall pointy thing... See it? Now just look past that and across the water you should see a white marble structure with a round roof...Go there and read the words from one of this country's Founding Fathers.

Surviving Elizabeth

Remember cute little Elizabeth Filarski from the Survivor: The Australian Outback?

Well, now as the newest "young one" (and going by her married name - Hasselbeck) on ABC's The View we are definitely learning more about her. Let's just say she is definitely off my Christmas card list...we got a cute little raging Right-winger! I suspected as much during discussions about the President and the election... but she has really shown her colors during recent "Hot Topics" involving gay marriage. Hasselbeck's "Marriage is a between a man/woman and I ain't budging" views make me think this little spitfire I think is now auditioning for a job in the Bush administration!

But, I guess the whole point of the show ...is to have different views... but it does not make Hasselbeck's thoughts any less infuriating. Interestingly enough the other co-hosts are all fairly tempered or supportive of gay marriage (perhaps realizing that besides women, gay men probably are the show's biggest fans). On this issue, I find that Star Jones (glad you landed a man just like your Sex and the City gals) is the most interesting person to listen to. I think she is opposed the idea from a religious/personal angle, but as a lawyer (and perhaps more so as a black woman) she is able to offer plenty of thoughtful support for it. A really wonderful example of "head" over "heart." I wish there was more of that out there.

This debate has really gone from 0-60 mph (well maybe more like 30-120 mph) - and it certainly seems to be on my mind more than ever. In the not so recent past, I had the PollyAnna-ish stance that "everyone has the right to their own opinion... blah, blah, blah" but over the past few days, the "anti" arguments feel more and more like a personal assault than ever before.

Back to the Lighter Side...

(or a quick laugh...before you hit the below rant)

Had the following Yahoo search hit today:
how do you become sexy like nick lachey

Believe me, I couldn't make that one up! Hey search buddy... if you find the answer let me in on the secret...okay?!

Vegas, Gorgeous Decorators & Mr. Hung (the last two not related, that I know of)

Zap2it report that NBC Studios has just signed a two-year, seven figure deal to keep Gary Scott Thompson, the writer-producer of Las Vegas, on board. The show has already received a pickup for next year as well. Ummm...has anyone at NBC actually been watching this show lately? It started off pretty good (in a fun, campy sort of way) but it has really spiraled downhill...but my love of the city, casinos, and Mr. Duhamel will probably keep me watching nonetheless.
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Fire up those TiVos (and even you folks w/ VCRs)...on Tuesday's Oprah (Feb 24th) it's The Gorgeous Men of Decorating... will the likes of Nate and Carter finally overtake my Idol Google hits...even just for a day?! If you don't know who these guys are...do yourself a favor and tune in...
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And since I mentioned Idol (surprise, surprise)... isn't William Hung, now dubbed "The Hong Kong Ricky Martin," on about his 18th minute of fame? Before you "bang" me, I was amused as anyone with his audition tape and backstory...but I think it is getting a bit out of hand. I am just hoping Hung is laughing along with everyone else (and his sincere naivete makes me believe it is NOT the case) as his story continues on...

An Idol-Free Blog: Defending Marriage, The A-Rod Acquisition, and Pugs

The same-sex marriage debate continued to rage this week... with the President being "troubled" by the San Francisco marriages and the First Lady finding it "shocking" - for some reason I have a feeling that those same words were thrown around when the country was in the process of ending slavery and giving women the right to vote. (I know, I know...it's different... we choose to be an abomination!)

But nevertheless I have been trying to come up with some ideas to defend the sanctity of marriage. Since the government seems to want to be involved..and since there are tax benefits for being married...I offer the following:

* Taxation or other financial penalties for separations, annulments, and divorces. While we're at it why don't we have a sliding fee schedule for the length of the marriage. Say $25k for Britney and Jason's 24-hour marriage (a flagrant violation of sanctity!)...while let's just impose a fine of $5k to Cruise and Kidman since they last 10 years.

* Another fee schedule for marital digressions. Infidelity of course would top the list though let's not forget about the oft-named "irreconcilable differences" (shouldn't you have thought more about these things before entering this sacred union?)

* Collect more money for children born out of wedlock...while many of these folks did do the correct thing by not using birth control...if they were participating in the act that leads to possible procreation shouldn't they be married?!

I figure this is just a start to help reduce the federal deficit!
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The big news in sports this week (see I am not that gay! errr...well...ummm) was the Yankees signing of Alex Rodriguez (seen hear with his equally lovely wife). Talk about "the rich-get-richer"... like the Yankees need another All-Star player on their roster. Even though I think he is pretty much a jerk it was predictable that if Steinbrenner see something he likes, he buys it! Now that is a philosophy I can relate to ... I go out and get a second TiVo, George gets A-Rod... no difference, right?!

But even despite the headline grabbing new addition, baseball aficionados should know that a team can't buy a World Series championship (stack the odds in your favor, well yes)...just ask the 2003 Florida Marlins.

I am hoping it translates into some good market value when it comes selling some of our season tickets when the Yankees come to town vs. the Diamondbacks this June.
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Not that I did not think it before, but pugs are very cool dogs...or else we are
puppy-sitting a pretty darn cool one until next week. This dog loves to show affection, has oodles of personality and really gets into playing fetch with a dog toy (and without destroying it...imagine that)! Now there is no way I am returning our own beloved bassett hound Toby, but I guess he just shows his love in different ways... like moaning and taking our seats/bed when we're not looking! ;-)

Queer Idols

Gay men and women are just everywhere you turn these days -- and not just fiction ala Will & Grace -- we have real folks marrying by the hundreds in San Francisco and now even popping up on the TV sensation American Idol thanks to Briana Ramirez-Rial and recently booted Marque Lynche.

First let me say that neither has publicly spoken about their sexual orientation/preference (or whatever the politically correct phrase is these days). I fully support that...having been sort of outed once in my life, I think it is up to individual to determine the how and when. But, more often than not, it is quite easy to "do the math" and like it or not, people love to speculate (even I am guilty of that)!

As I have mentioned in the past, Briana has brought me more search hits than any other subject/person I have blogged about. I think folks are intrigued by Briana for various reasons. Appearance-wise she is not your cookie-cutter Idol contestant, she has a no-holds barred attitude (bitching about dance routines and stage mothers), and less we forget what this show is all about... an amazing voice. There is an article about her on GayWired.com, which nicely sums up my own thoughts -- whether or not she makes it through to the finals she has already broke some ground. Given what little I know about tonight's group, I have a feeling the high-profile Briana will be moving on.

I have also received at least a dozen search hits with some combination of "Marque Lynche" and "gay." But as in often the case...Google or Yahoo ain't no
Magic 8 Ball. But if it did, I have a feeling the response would be "Signs Point To Yes."

The "evidence":
* A dancer/singer with a musical theater background
* Biceps, biceps, biceps
* Sings "Wind Beneath My Wings" and dedicates it to his mother

And finally the funniest/best of them all...this picture of Marque which is pretty much the same picture from the official website...but not cropped. Did the folks at Idol figure out the playful meaning of his "Morning Wood Basketball" shirt? The shirt is available here and also offers many others including "Pitcher," "Catcher," and "Tight End" and "Receiving Dept." So for you Googlers out there, I think Marque gave us the answer with a nice wink.

Super Bowl Hijinks

There are those joke articles "My TiVo Thinks I'm Gay"...but yesterday our TiVo pretty much proved it. For those not familiar with TiVo, you can set an option to record suggestions or things it thinks you'll like based on your viewing history. Well, after moving from the big-screen TV into to the kitchen for a little dessert... we hear the familiar sounds of "All Things Keep Getting Better" off in the distance...our TiVo made the switch from the Super Bowl over to NBC's "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy" marathon. Pretty funny!

Ok, I feel like I am already late to the game over Janet Jackson's...or should I say Miss Jackson's "accidental" exposure during the halftime show. I have to admit I totally missed it! Sure I saw Justin rip something off and Janet acting all surprised but I just figured it was part of the act (after all, the last line of the song is "I'm gonna get you naked by the end of this song")... but I didn't think (or look) twice. There was no way this was an accident despite all the morning-after apologies for the "wardrobe malfunction" (now there is euphemism you'd expect to hear more from the government). First Jackson's breasts were amply pushed up and on display during her teaser commercials, the "malfunctioning" piece exposed said breast a little too perfectly, and to top it off Jackson had on quite the elaborate pasty (pastie?) on. For a closer looker, check out the photo on Madlife's blog (it is the February 2nd entry if you are reading this after the fact).

Survivor: All Stars looks like it is going to a be a ton of fun. The game is going to have to be totally "re-thunk" since everyone knows each other to some extent or another. I was slightly surprised over Tina's ouster. I confess to being gullible...falling for Mark Burnett's bait-and-switch editing and believing the scheming Jenna would go with Rupert and Rudy taking the "high road" and not siding with "the past winners must go first" argument. I am sure the tide will turn...it is an obvious ploy to get rid of the Sole Survivors...and I don't think Burnett will sit back and allow that to happen...

Oh, I guess I should say that the actual football game ended up being pretty darn entertaining after a pretty slow start...good thing since the commercials I thought were pretty off this year (a couple of exceptions...the donkey dreaming of being a clydesdale and the horse-farting sleigh ride). But one question... is it an NFL requirement that quarterbacks must be cute?

My Hottest Hotties: Male Division

Today, I turn my attention to re-ordering and analyzing the male side of VH-1's 100 Hottest Hotties. Unlike yesterday's female hotties, I had no shortage of candidates. It was a pretty difficult task...like having to choose between the Oreo Cheesecake and the Brownie Sundae. As I said yesterday, if I did this list again tomorrow it would probably come out entirely different. I am sure I am missing somebody (in all likelihood your favorite!)... but nevertheless, here it goes:

1: Brad Pitt (#6 overall/#3 male) - Ok, pretty obvious choice -- but obvious for a reason... if you asked anyone to name a hot guy (including straight men), I would think Pitt's name come up over and over again...just the epitome of beautiful. The only time he goes mildly astray is when he does the beard/scraggly hair thing... hottest looks on-screen: "Thelma & Louise," "A River Runs Through It," and "Ocean's Eleven" - I don't care what Shania Twain might say... he does impress me much!

2: Matthew McCounaughey (#72 overall/#31 male) - My biggest ranking order quibble on the VH-1 list... how could Matthew be so far down?! Great bod, wonderful head of hair and a southern drawl that makes one simply melt...and on top of that he has no qualms about hanging around the house naked...what's not to love?!

3: George Clooney (#16 overall/#8 male) - Back in his big-hair day's in the 80s (remember "The Facts of Life"?) he was cute...but "ER" and beyond he has become a very classically handsome guy...that wry smile is very sexy.

4: Nick Lachey (#51 overall/#22 male) - Ok, Nick is pretty much the "stud d'jour" thanks to MTV's "The Newlyweds" but his rugged good looks and bod are good enough to earn him a spot on the list...even if it is for 15 minutes. When does he find time to work out?

5: Justin Timberlake (#14 overall/#7 male) - I was never a huge fan of the brillo-headed member of N'Sync...but over the past few years he has grown on me. This Rolling Stone cover pretty much solidified his spot on the list.

6: Ben Affleck (#82 overall/#35 male) - Like his ex-fiancee, if I don't see or hear from Ben in the near future that'll just be fine with me. He can look a little gruff and "ordinary" at times...but other times he still rates high on the hot factor...like this GQ cover.

7: Prince William (#42 overall/#18 male) - After some awkward looking younger years, it appears that his mother's DNA has thankfully kicked in. Another classically handsome fellow... even if he wasn't the future King of England, couldn't you just see him in a Ralph Lauren ad?

8: Tom Cruise (#18 overall/#9 male) - For me, Cruise's killer smile and great head of hair win out over his bod. Even though he was deemed hottest in his "Top Gun" and "Cocktail" days, I prefer the "Jerry Maguire" somewhat older Tom.

9: Derek Jeter (#45 overall/#19 male) - Token athlete on the list...really don't get to see him all that much since we live in a NL baseball town...but saw him in person during the 2001 World Series... great bod (particularly the posterior).

10: Ashton Kutcher (#3 overall/#1 male) - The current "it" guy and VH-1's top male pick...while I don't think he is #1, the combo of prettiness and mischievousness is appealing...Demi fatigue knocks him down a peg or two....but he also did a "worth more than a second look" Rolling Stone cover.

Also on the VH-1 list and deserving mention are: Jude Law, Hugh Jackman, Paul Walker, and Sean William Scott

As if those 14 guys were not enough...my mind wandered to all those who did not land on the list... I collect them here as they are...
Missing in Action:

Las Vegas hottie: Josh Duhamel - Hey if VH-1 can throw actors from "The OC" on their list, why not include the best new face on primetime...daytime viewers have long known about Duhamel since his day's as lady-killer Leo on "All My Children." Something was needed to balance all that T&A on NBC's "Las Vegas" and since James Caan ain't gonna do it Josh certainly pulls his weight...and you can see ALL he has to offer thanks to some nude "art" photos he posed for early in his career.

Goofy hottie: Zach Braff - What's not to love about the adorable star of "Scrubs"? Sure Braff is not going to win any beauty contests...but the cutie really does have more than okay bod when he occasionally shows it off for comedic effect.

Get a lot of blog hits hottie: Nate Berkus - I have talked about him quite enough, catch him on Oprah and I dare you not to include him on a hottie list!

Undertaker hottie: Peter Krause - Another not-so-obvious hottie, but there is a simmering sexiness to the star of "Six Feet Under" ... definitely more frisky in his days on "Sports Night."

Tennis hotties: While Andy Roddick made VH-1's list (#57 overall/#25 male), give me Carlos Moya or Marat Safin over him any day.

Queer Guy hotties: While I often tire of him telling me how to shave and the need to use "product," Kyan Douglas is definitely the hunk of the "Fab 5" in my opinion...and since his sole purpose is really just to sit there and be cute I should also mention Jai Rodriguez.

Queer Guy "For Pay" hottie: Gale Harold - A lot of gay men (or even straight women) would probably not mind being just another notch on the bedpost of Brian Kinney - the sex-crazed character Harold plays on Showtime's "Queer As Folk."

Singing Latino hotties: I guess we have to wait to see a VH-1 "What Ever Happened To?" special to get Ricky Martin back on a VH-1 list. But even if they are going on who's currently on the radar what was the reason for leaving Enrique Iglesias off their hottie list?

Carpenter hotties: For the past several years Ty Pennington has been making folks swoon over at "Trading Spaces"... but, in my eyes, the latest carpenter in town, Carter Oosterhouse, is steadily gaining ground on him.

Reality hotties: These guys come quickly to mind: Colby Donaldson ("Survivor Outback" & upcoming "All Stars"), Josh Souza ("Big Brother 1"), Reichen Lehmkuhl ("Amazing Race 4"), and heck even throw in "Survivor" host Jeff Probst.

Whew! I am exhausted now...have a great weekend! ;-)

My Hottest Hotties: Females

Finally got through VH-1's 100 Hottest Hotties -- today I offer up my Top 8 Female Hottest Hotties. As with any list, it would probably change if you asked me again tomorrow.

The VH-1 list was top-heavy on the ladies (and I am not talking about Pamela Anderson at #9)...58 females vs. 42 males. Just in case you are not a regular reader of this blog, please keep in mind that these picks are not "below the belt" influenced:

1: Beyonce (ranked #1 overall) - As with any VH-1 "list" special, the picks are a snapshot of the day...and, under that criteria, I think they got it right with Beyonce. Does steam not rise off your TV set every time she is on the screen? I know I am not ready for that jelly!

2: Julia Roberts (#48 overall/#28 woman) - While Julia is certainly not lacking anything in the looks department ("They're called boobs, Ed") but what constantly wins me over is her seemingly down-to-earth personality, megawatt smile, and infectious laugh.

3: Catherine Zeta-Jones (#50 overall/#29 woman) - I think Zeta-Jones is the epitome of Hollywood glamour...classic good looks and a smoky British accent. She even makes those T-Mobile commercials worth watching.

4: Jennifer Aniston (#19 overall/#10 woman) - Ok maybe a bit of husband-envy going on here, but she holds up very well even up against him. I think Aniston is getting better with age.

5: Heather Locklear (#44 overall/#26 woman) - Probably showing my age here as my fondness for Locklear started during the big-hair "Dynasty" days of the 80s...but through "Melrose Place" and her recent guest stint on "Scrubs" the 42-year old Locklear is still as spunky and sexy as ever.

6: Nicole Kidman (#31 overall/#18 woman) - Like Zeta-Jones another classic beauty with more than a healthy dose of glamour...even more so since she has blossomed into something more than an award-show accessory for Mr. Cruise.

7: Demi Moore (#22 overall/#12 woman) - I had a crush on Demi since she was a mere teenager (as was I) during her stint on "General Hospital" in the early 80s. Again, I am a sucker for a smoky voice (if I was doing this list 20 years ago I have no doubts Kathleen Turner would be heading it) - and as the bikini scene in "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle" showed she still has the killer bod (surgically enhanced or not). Down the list a bit due to the Ashton overexposure...

8: Jennifer Lopez (#11 overall/#6 woman) -- Actually VH-1 named "J-Lo's Ass" at the #11 spot. No doubt if this list was done a year ago, J-Lo would be heading it... but in all likelihood the "Bennifer" drama dropped her down the list... and I agree, I definitely think she is hot, but if I don't have to see/hear from her again for the at least the next six months that would just be fine.

Missing in Action:

Sandra Bullock - The girl next door...sure she is turns into the clumsy buffoon more often than not, but as "Miss Congeniality" showed she can clean up very well.

Sarah Jessica Parker - Sure she is thrown into some goofy outfits on "Sex and the City" and her hair can go astray (i.e. last weekend's Golden Globes), but SJP looks great more often than not.

UPDATE: Just an afterthought...how could VH-1 have left off Shania Twain and Janet Jackson... two more musical hotties in my book!

Next up...the more difficult task... the boys!

Mormons, Queer Eye and the Super Bowl

Just a quick blog today as work is interfering (don't you hate that?!)...

Had a "barky" morning. That is one big difference between cats and dogs, cats really do not care if someone is at the door or in the backyard. First, there was the tree feeder... then the pool cleaner guy... then to REALLY top it off... Mormom missionaries! Not much of a conversation ensued... probably due to a combination of: a) my late-morning disheveled "bed head," b) my Pavlovian eye-roll upon seeing the tidily white-shirted youngsters at my door, and c) the struggle to keep the hounds at bay. Upon closing the door on the duo, they asked "Can we help?" to which I offered a hopefully pleasant sounding "no."
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NBC is getting a lot of press for its "brilliant" counter-programming move... pitting a Queer Eye marathon against the Super Bowl. It is even made the local news with the anchors offering "Boy, that'll really attract a different crowd!" I don't know if I should be offended by all of this. NBC is basically offering up a sacrificial lamb.

And heck...I watch the Super Bowl... well, for the commercials and...well...I caught the QE episodes on Bravo already....

Thanks Britney!

Ms. Spears' "Oops!" marriage (well depending on whether you listen to the parents of the bride or the groom) this weekend in Las Vegas just made me laugh.

I am starting to the Dubya just might be right about the whole gay marriage issue... "Marriage is a sacred institution between a man and a woman...I will work...to do what is legally necessary to defend the sanctity of marriage."

The 12-hour foray into sacredness and sanctity for Britney and Jason Alexander (yes, this does sound like a Seinfeld episode...not that there's anything wrong with that!) just proves that heteros can't even provide adequate defense for "preserving the institution." It's easy as signing a piece of paper to do it...and another to get out of it.

So thanks again... and while I am at it... shout-outs to Liza and David, Billy Bob and Angelina...and Ben/JLo (even NOT getting married...yet...has furthered the "cause").
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Not too impressed with the first of the last 8 episodes of Sex in The City. The show started off strong with some of the classic girl "round-table" chat at the department store... Carrie's eye-winking take on the word "luvah," Charlotte being her blindly (whoops, I guess pun intended) optimistic self, Miranda all sarcastic/cynical, and Samantha being her blunt sexual self. But then what happened???

Miranda turns all soft and mushy with Steve. Really thinks Blair Underwood is deeply in love with her?? Underwood really in love with her enough to get "psycho"?? "Classic" Miranda would have just rolled her eyes said "we had great sex" followed by a big "Get over it/Whatever" and continued her march down the stairs.

Charlotte get the silly throw-away (and not terribly funny) story of the show...lately this has been Kim Cattrell's burden. The "blind" thing just gave her something (anything!) to do...and perhaps the swan-song of Mario Cantone's Anthony?!

Samantha getting all mushy... over cheating?!?! This should have been a no-regrets fun f*ck with her ex...okay, she could have felt a twinge of remorse but not to the extent she did.

Just hate the whole Carrie/Aleksander pairing. Like Carrie, I can't understand most of what he says... there is little chemistry... and last night's foray was just an excuse for an extended "Google" plug. We all know (well, hopefully!) Baryshnikov is going to be dancing off into the sunset.. so they should have ditched the dead wood in this episode.

Thanks to TV Guide... I know some spoilers for the rest of the season (I don't like knowing, but can't stop myself from reading them). This episode was pretty much a transitional episode in preparation for the "end game." While I don't know how the show will truly end...it has to get better than this. Some of the upcoming story lines I feel okay about, others I am not quite sure... but I will be watching... can't believe the girls will be gone for good in two months time!

"Angels" Final Thoughts/Taking a Spin on "Mulholland Drive"

I never did give my final thoughts about Angels in America. Many posts back I
expressed my fairly conservative praise for the first half of the HBO production, but the second half revived my belief that it is one of the great works of my lifetime.

There is a lot going on and I think it took watching the second half to help me mentally clean up some of the perceived messiness of the first half. Despite the depressing subject matter, "Perestroika" turns Kushner's piece into a story about hope, survival, and living (with a little good vs. evil thrown in...Prior surviving, Roy dying). One of the themes (motif?) that really struck in the movie version was that of finding help in unexpected places: Mormon mom Hannah Pitt with Prior, Belize's tough love approach to the dying Roy, Roy's unused AZT stash to help others, Louis helping Joe come out. I could go on (though probably not very eloquently), but overall this is a very rich and challenging piece...deserving of much of the praise it has received. I am glad I did not end up being disappointed.

However, I think I had such strong memories of the seeing it on stage since it was one of the rare occasions I felt the sense of the local gay community. Needless to say, the "family" is a big supporter of the theater anywhere you go...but here in relative surburbia, you feel like very visible minority. Two guys at the theater draw very different conclusions than the same two guys at a baseball game (to be "Seinfeld-ian," not that there is anything wrong with that). The theater seats here are mostly filled with groups of women, wives dragging husbands along for payback for all the sporting events offered in this town, or families (for those Disney productions). So when Angels hit town 5-6 years ago, it was very empowering to sit with a full audience of what had to be 70%+ gay males.

I think that is why watching the movie version in my living room carried the burden of extra expectations... nothing HBO or Mike Nichols or the actors could do could replicate that experience. That is why I think the stage is such a vibrant and irreplaceable vehicle...raw and unedited acting (or singing) combined with the instant, spontaneous, and constant gauge of an audience.

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Movie mania continued last night with Mulholland Drive -- what a total mind f*ck!! But I guess I should have known that since it was "Written and Directed By David Lynch." I was keeping an open mind trying to piece together this movie... eventually this would all come together and make sense, I said to myself...ok, this is weird, very weird but keep going with it. Then about two hours in (and with 20-30 minutes left), Lynch completely turns over the apple cart...my mind is spinning, trying to mentally stay above water with the new "reality"...but before that could totally happen for me it was the dark screen and closing credits! What the f*ck?!

I immediately rushed to my computer for assistance. Sure enough I found some amateur (but expertly presented) help about the film. In minutes, my impressions of the film went from thinking it was an incomprehensible mess to simply a masterful work. I am pretty disappointed in myself that I needed what amounts to the "Cliff Notes" to get it...at one point in my life I thought myself to be a pretty good film connoisseur (was pretty close to getting a film minor in college...for all that would have been worth). I probably should have been more patient and let my mind process what I had just seen...but in this age of instant gratification, the Internet was a too tempting a source.

[WARNING: Do not go to this site if you have not seen the film or do want to see it]
Mulholland Drive: A Visual Analysis was an incredibly effective deconstruction of the film. While I am sure there are dozen more interpretations, this one cleared away the cobwebs and got the mental light-bulbs popping very quickly.

I am sure I will give Mulholland a second viewing with my new knowledge in hand. This is a movie that does not spoon-feed you every little piece of information and has a staying power beyond yesterday's newspaper. Most films these days don't do that...heck, 80% (90%?) of the time the trailers give away the entire the film.

While I like the breezy romantic comedy as much as the next guy (or should I say "gal"?), I think I should certainly make more of an effort to track down films that make me think...or at least make me need to race to the Internet to learn more.

We're Here!

I have been meaning to comment on Out Magazine's "100 Greatest Gay Success Stories of 2003" for awhile now...this is the mag's annual tribute to the gay "stars" of the year. Though I have to question how "successful" some of them are (especially the higher profile folks on the cover):

Boy Meets Boy's James Getzlaff - Yes, gay people can be duped by reality show twists just as well as their hetero counterparts! This was just a reality version of Will & Grace - with James an even wimpier version of Will, not finding love or affection and probably most happy spending time with gal pal Andra. Tho rumor has it that James has been seen around town with Queer Eye's Jai these days. Speaking of which...

Queer Eye guys - Undoubtedly the breakout gay stars of the year - catapulting from little show on basic cable to national phenomenon nearly overnight... but doesn't this reinforce every gay stereotype that we have ever (always?) seen on tv sitcoms, movies, etc? A bunch of fashionistas, groomers, cooks, interior decorators, and "culture" experts...but people love 'em, so I guess it's not so bad. I still watch.

Reichen & Chip - Yes, gay guys can win a reality game show (The Amazing Race -- truly the best reality show out there, watch it next season, I promise you won't be disappointed!). And unlike Survivor's Richard Hatch, these guys were/are young and hunky. The couple fought to be labeled as "married" on the show, but have since amicably split. Somehow I don't anticipate any controversy over gay "divorces."

Ellen Degeneres - The comeback lesbian of the year. With Rosie O'Donnell losing much of her good will over the past year or so, Ellen jumped back into the mix with a very funny HBO special, a talk show (which has recently been picked up for a 2nd year), and a starring role in the biggest movie of the year (the voice of Dory in Finding Nemo).

The Reverend Canon Gene Robinson - The true "pioneer" of the year as the first openly gay Anglican bishop. The more serious Advocate named him person of the year, but it is no surprise he ends up getting placed next to Bruiser Woods, Legally Blonde's chihuahua, on the much flufflier Out.

Left off but deserving a cover shot is Oprah's interior designer guru, Nate Berkus. Although I certainly wished he was gay, I did not want to fully jump to that conclusion until I saw it in print. Thanks Out! The man with the million doller smile is certainly a very popular search if my blog stats are any indication. So to shamelessly get more hits: Nate Berkus, Nate Berkus, Nate Berkus!! And like apparently dozens of other searchers - I would not mind seeing him (him being, Nate Berkus)...naked or nude or shirtless. Sorry for those of you clicking here and being disappointed, but keep searching and let me know if you find anything. :-)

You Say Potato

Can we just call it a "civil union" and get all this "gay marriage" stuff over with already?! What seemed to be get people's panties to bunch up the most yesterday in regards to the Massachusetts court ruling, was the word "marriage." For the up-teenth time I had to hear George W. call marriage "a sacred institution between a man and a woman." Yes, and I am guessing it took five instances of that sacred institution to create these five guys.

Is it somehow anti-"sanctity" when a person can not visit their partner in the hospital when it is limited to "family" only? Or make a decision in regards to life-or-death surgery? Or inherit a house without being heavily taxed? Or collect death benefits?

The four horsemen of the apocalypse, huh?

Queer as Barney?

It was only a matter of time that the tables turned on Bravo's Queer Eye for
the Straight Guy. Both Comedy Central and Bravo are planning "Straight Eye/Queer Guy" programs. But my question is...will it work? Can it be fun without being insulting? After all the whole appeal of the original is a "minority" group having fun at the expense of the majority. Without delving too deep into the "is-it-or-ain't-it DNA" debate, consider the following ethnicity comparison: African-American Eye for the Caucasian Guy. Funny! Caucasian Eye for the African-American Guy...hmmm?

Speaking of Queer/Straight guys, I watched the Return to Mayberry: The Andy Griffith Show Reunion last night...okay, you may ask yourself where is this exactly going?! I have not seen the Andy Griffith show in decades, but something was gnawing at me while watching the reunion show, particularly the clips of Don Knotts' Barney Fife.

Then it hit me, the "modern" Barney Fife is no other than Will & Grace's Jack McFarland! The facial expressions, delivery, and comic situations and timing were freakishly similar. Then Andy/Will similarities, both playing the "straight" man, started surfacing... make me stop before I turn Aunt Bea into Karen Walker!! But really, the next time you are channel surfing and stumble onto Andy Griffith check it out and see whether I need psychiatric help or not!

Ahh-nold

I really do not have much to say about California Governor-elect Arnold Schwarzenegger. Being mildly amused by the whole recall election initially, I spent the past few weeks avoiding it as much as possible (of course, living in Arizona helps). While not surprised, there was still a stomach-churning mix of "ugh" and "oy" as CNN announced the results at 8:00:23 pm (I think they did wait that long, though Wolf Blitzer was chomping on the bit).

So now the fun really begins as Schwarzenegger has to do get to work for the good people of California (rather than spewing movie lines and back-peddling over his past actions/quotes - good thing it was a short campaign). BTW, was that Gary Busey (or Nick Nolte, not much difference between those two these days) on stage awaiting Arnold's victory speech? Guess it was a pro-recall vote at Betty Ford...

On a different note (but equally as disturbing)... is it just me or are Billie Jean King and Elton John eventually going to morph into the same human being.

Emmy Recap

Just a few thoughts on last night's Emmy Awards. I don't know why I really expect these awards shows to really go like I think they should, they never do. Disappointed to see one of my favorites, Six Feet Under get shut out despite receiving the most nominations.

Glad to see Debra Messing and Raymond end their winless streaks. Messing, who appeared genuinely surprised by her win, was the last of the W&G cast to take home a statue and while Raymond (which I really do not watch) finally took home the "big one" after seemingly winning everything else in the past few years.

That said -- big yawn over the usual Raymond suspects taking home the supporting Emmys. I guess the omnipresent Brad Garrett did not lose any points with his peers over his recent salary negotiations. I thought Peter Boyle might slip in and be the last Raymond cast member to have a trophy on the shelf. And while, Doris Roberts is deserving I was still pulling for Cynthia Nixon -- Miranda on Sex and the City is definitely one of the least "one-note" supporting players out there.

Predictable drama acting sweeps for The Sopranos (Gandolfini, Falco, and Joey Pants) leading of course to The West wing taking home Best Drama. I am a fan of both shows, but I think even the WW cast/crew knew this was not their finest season. With the exception of Sex taking home Best Comedy in 2001, I still think the Emmys prefer to reward acting over "the show" for cable series.

Finally, the happiest moment for me from last night's telecast -- The Amazing Race taking out behemoths Survivor and American Idol for Best Reality Series! With AR5 just recently green-lighted, let's hope that this critically-praised but ratings-challenged globetrotter gets the attention it deserves from both CBS and the viewing public in its next go-round.

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Oh one more non-Emmy note. Did Oprah Winfrey become a member of P-FLAG or something over the summer? In the first week of her new season, she has had shows with Madonna, her cute gay (and if not, seriously "metrosexual") designer guy Nate Berkus, and today she jumps on The Fab Five bandwagon.