Whine & Cheese

Vampire I'd Like To...

While the second season of HBO's True Blood got a bit too strange/off the wall for even me (and I'm fairly tolerant/patient with that kind of stuff), I am still looking forward to the upcoming 3rd season which is set to debut in June (2010).  

I have always enjoyed the creative forces behind the show (and likewise, the Charlaine Harris book series from which they originate) from the vampire beverage which shares the name of the show to the vampire rights activist campaigns, etc. 

HBO is coming out with a teaser poster per week leading up to the new season.  The first one was a their trademark darkly humorous take on a blood-filled Mr. Coffee machine filled up with blood with the tagline "Nothing Like A Good Cup of Joe."  Though I am sure "good to the last drop," would have worked too... but I would guess Maxwell House wouldn't necessarily approve. 

Here the Week 2 poster:

Of course, a sly take off of on MILF or, for some of us, DILF (and just in case you are not familiar with the acronym, it's Mom - or Dad - I'd like to f&ck )...

But back to VILFs, that begs the question:  Team Bill or Team Eric?

I'd have to say Bill was dominant (no pun intended) in Season 1, but he got a bit whiny/annoying in the 2nd season, so probably leaning Eric here... especially since Jason is out of the running.

If you would like to see more, this link will take you to all the True Blood extras... and I believe that this page will update as each new Season 3 promo poster is added each week thru June.

Tammy Whine-ette?

Yesterday I status'd/tweeted that I found "the woman scorned" book and media tour to be almost as abhorrent as the cheating husband. I chalked it up to a bit of my political incorrectness that surfaces from time to time, so I was somewhat relieved when this morning I read from Tina Brown, editor of The Daily Beast:

"I have to say I'm getting increasingly impatient with The Wronged Wives Club," Brown says. "The men they're married to are utter snakes and worms, but these women — they do buy into this stuff, and then they are so humorless about it at the end. Jenny Sanford's book is such a pious document. At some point, I really wish one of these women would begin their book and say, 'I am writing this book out of sweet revenge; my husband was a total worm, and this is payback time.' It would be a little more honest."

Instead, Brown complains, political spouses often retreat to platitudes: 'You know, 'I'm doing this for the children,' " or some such. "It is all nonsense. It is about one of two things: money or revenge. Very often both."

via www.npr.org - Tina Brown's Must-Click List: Bad Things Edition

I would have been satisfied with my 140 characters on the matter, but since Brown expanded on it so well and coupled with Sanford's on The Daily Show (which I had not seen before that status/tweet), it seemed that it deserved a post of its own. (BTW, all references to Sanford are Jenny, not her husband)

I should add that I do (or, at least, did) respect Sanford for not doing the dog-and-pony "stand by your man" press-conference show and moving out on the bum, even though I felt it was a sad commentary that this action, at least in the political world, is considered "going rogue." 

Ok, back to the respect being in the past tense, as my cynical side now thinks Sanford staying out of the initial media spotlight was a calculated move to only fuel interest in her and masterfully played with a first public appearance as one of Barbara Walters' "most fascinating people" of last year, with little doubt the book deal already in place. Can a TV movie be far behind? 

Again, my main criticism of Sanford (and this "Club") is my original quip which Brown nicely, and eloquently, expanded upon.  But I can not not say something about Sanford's strange and squirming-ly uncomfortable (but delicious) appearance on The Daily Show. She got in some well-earned digs and jaw-dropper digs vs. her husband.  But there's something a bit odd about her. I'm hoping it's just that she has a very (very!) dry sense of humor, but I was not totally sure.  In an odd turn, she spoke of missing some of the perks of being South Carolina's First Lady noting that her dogs were bathed and gardens tended by prison inmates.  I was kind of waiting for her to say "black" inmates as this particular discussion had the subtext of a fondly recalling days on the plantation. But it almost seemed like she didn't get it when Jon Stewart chimed in something to the effect  "You know they don't have choice."

Sanford's journey that seem to begin so refreshingly on "the road not taken" has instead ventured onto "politics as usual" highway.

Jerk (Off)

John Mayer, you are an enigma to me.

I am really not into the big-time tattoos and most certainly the whole "sleeve" thing, but it seems to working here.

I enjoy your music (though nothing on your latest album has yet clicked with me), but honestly you seem like a bit of a jerk... which you pretty much have admitted after reading your own Rolling Stone interview titled "Dirty Mind, Lonely Heart.  (Though it does take two, and although I don't know her personally, I think Jen Aniston needs to discuss her choice in men with a shrink)

But anyhow nice cover and certainly a provocative interview...

By quoting some of the "dirty mind" parts of this interview, I know I am asking for serious search-engine trouble!  Though I'll encourage the following searches: John Mayer Shirtless and John Mayer Rolling Stone Cover.  But heck, I need a bit of CPR on the re-boot of this blog (though it still seemed I was getting about 10k visits a month even doing nothing for the last 6 months of last year).

I was surprised that Mayer's apparent comfort in taking things into his own hand(s), so to speak, hit the mainstream media.  The whole inspiration for this post was due to a segment on Access Hollywood that airs here at 3pm (just in time for the children to arrive home from school!).  But, just in case you were wondering, John thinks his body is a wonderland as well:

"I am the new generation of masturbator, I’ve seen it all. Before I make coffee, I’ve seen more butt holes than a proctologist does in a week… I have masturbated myself out of serious problems in my life. The phone doesn’t pick up because I’m masturbating. And I have excused myself at the oddest times so as to not make mistakes. If Tiger Woods only knew when to jerk off."

He also addresses bisexuality rumors, which kinda surprised me since he never landed on my gaydar thanks to all his womanizing (tho I guess, if true, it could have been a sign of classic overcompensation)... but alas, even despite his above-mentioned penchant for "holes" ("straight guy" news to me!), he squashes it...

“I don’t care about anything other than energy. That’s why people think, ‘Is he bi? Is he that?’ I’ve never slept with a man. But I get it. I’ve seen pictures of men on the Internet that are sexier than pictures of most women.”

... though it kinda sounds like he maybe just needs to meet the right guy, ha!

Lost In Your Eyes

Look what just showed up in my mailbox!

I am not sure who is looking hotter on this week's Entertainment Weekly cover!

I have to say Evangeline Lilly might make me consider switching teams... and while I may be all about sex every minute of every day in that alternate universe... I will say I don't have an iota of an impure thought about Matthew Fox since he is one year waaaaaay (gasp!) older than me and fully clothed... even if he is quite successfully pulling off that rugged, come hither look!

Some Advice To Jen Aniston

Jennifer Aniston in a recent interview with USA Today:

“I think it’s ridiculous,” Aniston said. “There’s just this insatiable need… I am honestly getting sick of it, and I feel like telling people, ‘You know what? It’s none of your (expletive) business. Seriously, it’s enough...and (people have to) realize that I have a job, and I'm an actress."

Fast forward about a week...

Jennifer Aniston on and in the January issue of GQ:

Ok, Jen.... we like you, we really like you... and honestly, I don't mind these photos, but for chrissake you have to shut. up!  

In the whole Brangelina thing you won our sympathy... much like the Dolly Parton song, Jolie-ene seemed to take your man just because she can... could, whatever, you know what I am getting at!   But it is time to move on Jen, while people may admire Angelina's beauty or even acting... let's face it, she's not terribly like-able and she's pretty strange to boot (remember the whole relationship with her brother or the marriage, tats, and blood-carrying vials of Billy Bob?)...

...but Jen, you are starting to lose this goodwill with all this whining/"not cool" stuff about something that happened 3+ years ago smacks of schoolyard sniping/"they started it first."  Folks are smart enough to figure it at Jen, but like I said no one likes a whine, especially one that is beautiful and rich. So I say "no comment" on that pesky first marriage... and let your charm or heck even your "acting"... and yes, even your bod... do the talking... these pix certainly speak volumes (Look at me now!  How do you like these apples!?!?) without the need of opening your mouth.

Oh, and while I am here... the whole on-again/off-again thing with John Mayer isn't helping either... while I am a big fan of his music, when it comes to love and relationships Jen he seems to be a bit of a dog.  Not that I know him personally or anything, but just a hunch.

Anyhow, lookin' good Jen... and good luck with that dog movie.

Bette Bunyan?

Kudos to the person (my guess, an underpaid intern) over at USAToday.com who matched this particular picture and story about the Divine Miss M in yesterday's online edition.

(Link: Midler wrongly fells 200 Hawaiian trees - USATODAY.com)

Now all this sounds pretty bad, but even the headline suggests it is an honest mistake... particularly given Bette's pretty sincere commitment to the environment (campaigns for composting in LA and highway trash cleanup in NY).

I'm guessing the recommended $6,500 fine won't affect the 61-year old soon-to-be Vegas headliner's checkbook too badly... particularly when it's regarding your nearly 11-square mile piece of property on Kauai!

Bending Over For Beckham

The post title is a bit misleading... as a gay man, I am well aware I am supposed to be in a perpetual state of tizzy over David Beckham.  While I can admire his bod (that is, what I can see of it through the tatts)... as one of his fellow countryman once wrote, for me, it's much ado about nothing.

While I am fully aware that tennis is on the D-list of the sports world, this magazine cover still got my goat...

It couldn't wait another week?  I guess the country's premier sports magazine can't be outdone by W Magazine... though this is some serious journalism... Becks is fully clothed and Posh is no where to be seen (well, at least on the cover).   I guess I shouldn't be too upset... if you look really close... up in the corners are this year's Wimbledon champs.   

Roger Federer continued his charge into the tennis history books with a 5th consecutive Wimbledon title. It was one of those seemingly unbreakable records, accomplished just once in Open era by Bjorn Borg nearly 30 years ago... and he did it in a thrilling five-set match he probably should not have won vs. his nemesis, Rafael Nadal.  In an article I read this past week comparing Roger and his new BFF Tiger Woods, it mentioned that Roger has never made the SI cover... not sure if this corner shot "counts"... but that just seems so wrong.

Venus Williams captured her 4th Wimbledon crown. Despite her history at the All England Club, it was yet another unlikely title. Riddled with injuries and lack of match play, she became the lowest ranked woman to win (outdoing her previous "record" of being the lowest ranked player with her 2005 title).

Back in 1993, SI published an infamous cover story "Is Tennis Dying?" ... is it a question worth asking again in 2007... or not. 

If Roger and Venus get pushed aside for a pretty-boy Brit, getting paid an insane amount of money to play soccer (no less, in America!??!?!)... who will likely find his (and his wife's) picture more on the cover of tabloid magazines than the sports page as they host backyard BBQs with their neighbors, and fellow scientologists, Tom and Katie... well, some 14 years later after posing that ominous question, this cover may just be tennis' unofficial obituary.

But, as usual, tennis will get its due here at W&C.  Here are some shots of Roger and Venus looking all snazzy at this year's Wimbledon Ball.

Andy Gets Pumped Up

Since I semi-regularly blog about tennis, this one was just too good to pass up.  First, thanks to Kenneth for being my source on the latest "news" as well as being the first place that I ever saw this now in question magazine cover below... also, this breaks one of personal blogging cardinal rules... if it's been on Towleroad, everyone has seen and/or read about it already... so that usually means you don't have to blog about it (and the guy certainly doesn't need more traffic via you measly link).

But anyhow... here is tennis player Andy Roddick on the cover of this month's issue of Men's Fitness.  As mentioned, I first caught a look at it over on Kenneth's blog...

I did just a quick glance... despite being the apple of many a gay man's eye...  Roddick just isn't my favorite tennis player or person in the world...

(probably undeserved... but I find him to be annoyingly cocky and a whiner... which, for me, cancels out any cuteness factor.. and then there was the whole Mandy Moore break-up...)

.... but something just didn't seem right.  While he is a professional athlete and the body to go with it... something still seemed out of whack.  Since tennis players need to be fast, they tend not to be really built... sure Rafael Nadal has the biceps, but his chest is not  as proportionally huge... but Andy seemed strangely bulky on the cover.

Sure enough... even the cover boy agrees... he released this honest and good-humored statement on his website:

"I spent the last few weeks in Austin really focused on my training and getting back into shape, but pretty sure I'm not as fit as the Men's Fitness cover suggests... little did I know I have 22 inch guns and a disappearing birth mark on my right arm.  I saw the cover for the first time when I landed after Rome, it was pretty funny. I walked by the newsstand in the airport and did a total double take. I can barely figure out how to work the red-eye tool on my digital camera... whoever did this has mad skills...  maybe Rafael Nadal wants his arms back?  If you can manage to stop laughing at the cover long enough, check out the article inside, the photo shoot on the boat was pretty cool and I recognize the person in those photos."

I'm not sure what magazines think they are accomplishing by such obvious (i.e. bad) photoshopping ... and it is even more egregious since it is a "fitness" magazine. 

I guess "5 Easy Moves" to "How To Build Big Arms" just involves a fews clicks of a mouse?!

MisMatch #6: The View Edition

Not so much a mismatch, but a snort-worthy juxtaposition on Yahoo!... as always, absolutely no photo-shopping or other manipulation on my part (note the articles were posted just 16 minutes apart).

Is this Rosie news new?  I thought it was already pretty well-documented (okay, except for the hanging upside down part)... or is it just to piss off Star by stealing some of her publicity thunder?!

Links:

Star Jones Reynolds lands at Court TV - Yahoo! News

Rosie says she's treated for depression - Yahoo! News

MisMatch #5: O Edition

Caught this photo/story "MisMatch" today over at Yahoo!...

Now who's going to apologize to Sidney Poitier?  To the best of my knowledge, the Oscar winning actor is not 21 years old or has he committed that particular crime... if I'm wrong, maybe I should read O's latest book club selection!

(Link to actual story: Oprah helps man apologize for murder - Yahoo! News)