Whine & Cheese

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: Diva Edition

Back in September 2005, I created this W&C banner:

In the spirit of the blog, it seemed to make sense to have a "diva" banner.  I wanted to include divas I had seen live in concert... so Cher, Bette, and Celine were no-brainers.  Gladys Knight and Dolly Parton were the next additions, though I didn't think they quite fit the "diva" mold... well at least the temperamental and demanding wing of diva-hood... okay, maybe this is more a "gay-con" banner... that makes Dolly fit in...I was still unsure about Gladys... but how could I have a banner without two of the biggest divas out there... Barbra Streisand & Madonna? 

So even though I had never seen them in concert... and figured I never would... I did away with the silly "restrictions" and just put in a handful of ladies that I would be happy to see pop up randomly on W&C.

But you just never know what life will throw at you... and what a difference a year (+ two months) makes?!!

Making her first appearance in the Phoenix area since the 1980s, I knocked Madonna off the list when her Confessions Tour hit town back in May.

And tonight, what I thought would never, never (never, never, ever, ever!) happen ... Barbra Streisand. 

Though hopefully I haven't been rooked... my "print out your own" tickets say Barbara (vs. the more particular Barbra).

But, if you thought Madonna had been avoiding Phoenix... well, the last time Babs performed here was when she was filming A Star Is Born in the 1970s!  Apparently during some concert with a other musical acts at Sun Devil Stadium, she popped out to sing a few songs for the movie.  All for $3.50... which, as you can probably guess, is less than the "convenience fee" for tonight's concert.

If you need an indication of what a big deal this is for me... that is, beyond the base fact of being a gay man of a certain age... well, there's a picture or myself and Barbra up on our refrigerator... okay, technically it's me and the wax figure of Barbra from Madam Tussauds.

So I am still pretty much in denial that it's actually going to happen, let alone tonight... it will probably not until we leave for the show... and have to deal with the mess around the arena (apparently there are metal detectors + no beverages allowed in the arena... guess that's what happens when someone throws a drink at her!).

I'll tell you all about it tomorrow (time/energy/"real" work permitting)... oh, and there's Il Divo too... now there's another act that I never thought I would see live... but not for the same reasons.

For now I'll enjoy my own little version of Field of Dreams... if you post it (or put it on your fridge), she will come.

Madonna Rides Into Town

... and she brought her riding whip!   

Madonna emerged from a giant disco ball (reportedly covered with $2 million worth of crystals) and literally kicked (and whipped) the show off with an equestrian-themed/S&M take of Future Lovers from Confessions on a Dance Floor.  A video-ized Madonna introduced the real-life Madonna proclaiming "I'm going to tell you about love"... and the roar from the crowd told her she was about to receive a whole lotta love right back for the next two hours.

So, I really don't know where to start. 

The show was amazing... the ticket prices made me question my sanity (and that's saying something!!)... but the production value of this show is so high... there were really no regrets... your dollars wree certainly on display during this visual feast... plus that you are in the presence of arguably one of the most famous women in the world.   

I came away from the evening with a total (increased) respect of Madonna's artistic vision.  You know she had total control over every aspect of the show... and she has certainly come a long way from her bubble-gum pop musical roots... sure there was an incredible amount of ego on display... but the night was a mix of fun (even kitsch), but also "message."

She turned political a few times ... in the "shock value" (and most press publicized) moment of the evening, during Live To Tell Madonna puts herself up on a mirrored crucifix (with a crown of thorns, no less!)... but against a video back-drop of the devasting toll of AIDS in Africa. 

And let's just say, it is pretty clear what Madonna thinks of Dubya and Tony Blair. In a video sequence for Sorry... the two world leaders make mulitiple appearances (beside images of more notorious "evil doers") as the words "Don't Speak" are flashed across the screen and the song's chorus "I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know/Please don't say you're sorry/I've heard it all before" is repeated.  Dubya also gets a shellacking during I Love New York, "If you don't like my attitude / Then you can F off / Just go to Texas / Isn't that where they golf"... that last "golf" line was changed to something about sucking a lower appendange on the current President.  Yowza!

Yesterday I mentioned that Madonna, like many "divas," has a thing about air conditioning... and that surfaced last night.  Past the mid-point of the show, Madonna said something to the affect of "A word to the management, turn off the air conditioning.  Sure enough, it did heat up (literally) for the remainder of the show... and this turned into the primary focus of an article about the concert in this morning's newspaper.  Apparently, a half hour before showtime was 75 degrees inside... at showtime (40 minutes "late"... at 8:40p) it was up to 80... and by the end of the show, it was a very noticeably toasty and moist 87 degrees.

So that's a good segue to say to say... at times, she was a bitch.  There was minimal chit-chat with the audience beyond the prerequiste "Hello... [insert city name]"... I sensed every aspect of the show was planned out, orchestrated, choreographed...  right down to her swigs from the water the bottle. 

Ok, back to the bitchiness... me thinks, this was "part of the act" as well ... her diva 'tude and tantrums are legendary... so you expect (and want!) to be put in your place!  When she told you to jump you jumped, when she said dance you danced... when she told you to roll your arms during Hung Up... well, you better f&ckin' roll your arms... NOW!!   Ma'am, yes ma'am!!   Heck, even her dancers seemed to be trained animals (at times literally), catering to her every whim and asked to do some amazing physical feats... and they were truly incredible... for these folks (and yes, some hot male bodies) a spot on a Madonna tour is as prestigious a gig as you can get in the dancing world.

Finally, at age 47, Madonna looked amazing!  For some reason, I thought she was coming across ever so slightly chunky of late... but her body is incredible... if anywhere, her age is showing in her face.  But her legs were incredible... and she still exudes sex appeal.  Our seats were great... at times, I would say we were about 60 feet away from her (both at a side stage "arm" and a mini-stage that extended halfway out to the floor).  During Hung Up, we had a most excellent rear view of her humping the boom box... and well, even for a gay guy, I have to say she had a fine ass.

So I guess that's it... sorry for the ramble...  believe me, my mind is still processing everything...  I am sure I could go on and on. 

I know some folks consider it a SPOILER, so I have included the song/set list "after the jump" (if you are reading this via Bloglines or some other feeder... avert your eyes)...  I certainly didn't commit it to memory, just pulled it from the Web and "confirmed" it...

Oh, btw... no encores... which was fine with me! I have always found "planned" encores (you know when the artists leaves the stage having never sang their biggest or most current hit) to be annoying and manipulative... so it was quite refreshing that the show was over when it was over (the first time)!!

UPDATE:  From The AZ Republic... a much more focused (and pretty much on target) concert review/re-cap: Madonna dances through Glendale spectacle

Burnin' Up

Tonight's the night!

Yep, it is the big Madonna stop in Phoenix!

Not that I would have ever forgot it , but I was reminded of the show when I had to put that TicketMaster charge into Quicken this past weekend... yeesh!   I am hoping complimentary lap dances from her male back-up dancers are included with the price of admission!   Shockingly enough, the buzz is that the show is actually worth the steep price of admission.

While I doubt she'll sing it... I have a feeling we'll be... burnin' up! 

Allegedly Madonna has called for minimal/no air conditioning at the concert venues.  This is not unheard of in the divahood... Aretha Franklin has been known to throw a hissy fit and storm out if the air is on... while Celine Dion has a highly controlled temperature/humidity performance "bubble" at Caesars Palace.   So we'll see, even without air conditioning, Arizona's infamous "dry heat" may do in the Material Girl!   (Though the weather has been very strange here for the past two days...)

This is also the start of an unusually high density activity schedule... Friday night we are supposed to see Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat... Saturday, Todd's parents stop by to pick up Lucy (who arrived for a short doggie stay yesterday)... Sunday is a Diamondbacks game... then Monday, Todd is off to France.

So more tomorrow... that is, if I can recover after being out on a "school night."

Tuesday Mish-Mash

Usually it's mish-mash Mondays... but a day late with a few unconnected thoughts...

Madonna - Well, I wasn't the only crazy person to spend oodles of dollars on Madonna tix.  Today's paper reported that it took only 16 minutes to get to "only single seats left" status.  With that kind of demand, a second show has been added two days later on much more concert-friendly Saturday night... but I wasn't going to roll the dice on that!   We also had $44.50 worth of fees added for the pair of tix... I remember the days when paying that alone for a concert seemed like a big deal.  I'm getting old!

Queen Night - No, not more about Madonna... tonight is Queen tribute night on American Idol.  USA Today has published tonight's song selections.  I won't spoil it for you... but will just give some cryptic comments.  Elliott is singing a song that I thought would have been perfect for Ace... while Ace's choice seems questionable to me and fear the 'interpretation'... Kellie has the most interesting choice and potential train wreck... Bucky is likely saving himself by song choice alone. 

West Wing - I think that it is a little sad that there has been little press about the result of the Presidential election on The West Wing.  I think the show has been better than ever, but it certainly seems to be leaving on a whimper buzz-wise.  The NY Times has an interesting piece (registration may be required, sometimes I can read the full piece without it) about the outcome ... seems like the election would have swung the other way if John Spencer had not passed away in December.  Looking forward to seeing past cast members return in the closing weeks of the show... though next week's episode looks like a tear-jerker.

MINI Cooper - Yesterday was my car's one month anniversary.... which I find hard to believe... on one hand it seems like I just got it... on the other, it seems like I have always had it... it has just over 600 miles on it now... and received its second fill-up over the weekend.  Got about 27 MPG on the second tank... but still lovin' it... and with the weather warming up, it has been nice to ride around with the sun roof open and the windows down!

Justify My Love Ticket Prices

Well, Madonna tickets went on sale this morning... and I managed to snag us some.  Thanks goodness the days of having to call-in or sleep-out at a ticket booth are over!

Though my online experience was not without its moments. I was all signed in to Ticketmaster as 10 a.m. approached, I kept hitting the reload button... and just at 10 a.m....  I got a message that I had "exceeded the maximum number of hits allowed" and "please try your request again in a couple of minutes."  Arrrrrgh!!!  Couldn't they have mentioned that somewhere before I got trigger-happy!?!

So I switched to another browser, tracked down the page again... submitted my request and then it says it will take "approximately 2 minutes" to pick out tickets... so I scrambled back to my other browser, which had now forgiven me... and suddenly I have my choice between 2 sets of tickets... and better yet, despite the lag time (every second counts!), I got lucky:

Section 101 - Row J

So pretty darn great... but I have a feeling why it is called the Confessions tour... and it has nothing to do with the of the album/CD... it's because no one will want to admit how much they paid for tickets! 

If we weren't wracked with enough guilt in the past couple of days, now I have to deal with the fact that I am paying to see Madonna for an amount of $$ that could feed a family in a third-world country for probably a significant period of time.  Eeek!  I think a charitable donation is in order to get the karma back in balance.

While at Ticketmaster, I checked out our "Online Order History" (stretching back to 2003 )... I pretty much am sure our TiVo knows we're gay... but I am thinking Ticketmaster probably has a good clue as well:

Madge Alert

Yes, Madonna is coming to town!

I am a little surprised.  Even though we're one of the biggest metro areas in the country, last night I wondered if she had ever been to Phoenix.  And the answer is yes...  21 years ago!   Now that makes me feel old... it was way back during her Like A Virgin tour... so that even pre-dates my tenure in the Valley.

So, I am sure you may surmise, I have never seen Madonna in concert!

I know shocking!  Celine, Bette (twice!), Cher (thrice!), Dolly, Reba... so Madonna seems like it would be a much-needed hole punch on the gay card (and Barbra is threatening another farewell tour, oy!).

But old age is kicking in too... the concert is on June 8th, a Thursday (ugh!) night... it is at the arena out in boonies (for us)... and tickets (going on sale Monday) are $60-$355 (+ countless surcharges).

The North American stops are: LA, Vegas, San Jose, Fresno, Phoenix, Chicago, Montreal, Hartford, NYC, Boston, Philadelphia, Atlantic City and Miami.