Whine & Cheese

Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas!

For those who didn't catch a the sneak peek of this over at Flickr (no coal in Jeff's cyber-stocking this year!) or are on our snail-mail list...

Here is the hotly anticipated much-hyped photo from our holiday greeting card this year!

Elf Rocky & Santa Toby.

We took about 20 photos... and, believe it or not, this one was the very first picture taken!  I decided  to upload some outtakes over on Flickr.  I likely should have used one of them... they are pretty amusing... but my gut told me to go with one where the kids were behaving!

One of my favorite... ok, I am going to go ahead and say it CHRISTMAS!! songs is... "Do You Hear What I Hear?"

(Tangent: I am sooo confused these days.  While I think it is only polite to wish people, particularly strangers, "happy holidays" during this time of the year...  I am experiencing backlash from the backlash over it being politically incorrect to say "Christmas" ... or is it back to being anti-"holiday" and people insisting on "Christmas"?  Soooo very confused.  How 'bout everyone -- whatever the "side" -- just unbunch their panties about the whole thing... it's so anti-holiday... errr, I mean anti-Christmas....ack!)

So yes, one of my favorites songs this time of the year is "Do You Hear What I Hear?"

Said the king to the people everywhere
Listen to what I say
Pray for peace people everywhere
Listen to what I say
The child, the child
Sleeping in the night
He will bring us goodness and light
He will bring us goodness and light

So while the blog-world takes its annual breather for the next few days, let me say that whatever you are celebrating (or not!)... it is my sincere hope that the spirit of the holiday season finds you with plenty of peace, goodness and light.

See you on the flip side (probably mid-next week)!

Gold, Frankincense, and Myr-oist Brownies!

WARNING:  Politically and religiously incorrect post ahead!

This is not an advertisement. 

Although this is the place I ordered baked goods gift baskets for family members (who have enjoyed them in the past), this company got more than enough money out of me that I don't feel obligated to provide a link or mention their name outside of the un-croppable (as far as the company name goes) graphic below...

But this "it's not too late to spend even more money with us" e-mail pretty much made me spray out a almost made me spray out a mouthful of coffee this morning.

It just totally cracked me up... and got my snark-filled juices bubbling...

So let's listen in on a Republican Christmas Iowa Caucus Cookie Exchange:

Mary:  Helen sure does make some heavenly lemon bars... but did you see her cookie tin?

Margaret:  I know!  She seems so religious... I see her at mass every week and she even switching to Huckabee.

Mary:  Now granted that Mitt is a looker... but do those people even celebrate the birth of Christ?  Oh, wait I think I may be confused... they do, they do!   But they just think our Savior was born in upstate New York, right?  Or is it Missouri?

Margaret:  Hmmm... you know, I'm really not sure either!

Mary: But really?!?!  Helen coming to the party with a secular cookie tin!

Margaret:   Frosty the Snowman !!!

Mary: ... and, don't forget, Rudolph too!

Margaret:  And I couldn't care less if it was one of Oprah's favorite thinnnnnnnnnggggggs!

Mary:  Ugh... don't even get me started on Opra-ma! 

Margaret: To think I used to like her, traitor!

Mary:  I know, well... thank goodness we still have Condi!

Margaret:  But back to Helen... obviously she is unaware that there are other choices when it comes to holding and transporting baked goods!

Mary:  Now Margaret, you're aren't turning Pro-Choice on us now?  Haha!

Margaret: Oh Mary, bite your tongue!  Though that does remind me... what day am I scheduled to chant "baby murderer"... err... I mean.... pray... in front of Planned Parenthood next week?!?   But anyhooo, Helen should know there are cookie tins available for those who wish to recognize the religious nature of the Christmas holiday.

Mary:  Amen to that, girlfriend.  There is nothing that says "let's celebrate the birth of Christ" better than a the The Three Kings and Star of Bethlehem tastefully rendered on an oval-shaped, aluminum cookie tin.

Margaret:  And speaking of tasteful, it's even yummier inside!

Mary:  Tell me about it... 4 Mini-Teacakes, 5 moist and chewy Brownies, 50 Gingerbread Mini-Cookies, 6 Oatmeal Fruit and Nut Cookies, 6 Gingerbread Cookies, a Lemon Square, Peppermint Twists and 4 Chocolate Truffle Cookies.

Margaret:  Oh my... that much!?!  It's practically a miracle.

Mary:  Oh Margaret!

Margaret:  Oh Mary!  Now what's this I hear about that nice Josh Groban boy is Jewish.^[1]

[1] - According to Wikipedia, Josh's father was Jewish but converted to Christianity after marriage... thus that nice Josh Groban boy was raised Anglican-Episcopalian.

Holiday Free For All Friday

No surprise... various holiday related items dancing in my head this Friday...

After my recent holiday "there's not enough time left" freak-out, I've made progress... did quite a bit of online shopping this week and with the exception of getting some gift cards, I think I may be done-ish.  While I am not totally and completely satisfied with the results, it's to the point where it's "okay"... which, if you take away all the media pressure and retail hullabaloo, likely translates to "totally and completely satisfied."

Some impressive shipping -- I have already received two item that I ordered earlier this week... and with standard shipping no less.  I don't know where all these "free shipping" offers are... even for "regular" shipping it seems as if I am paying through the nose... and it's particularly sad/funny when you pay more for shipping than the item you purchased!

Among other things, I decided to send my parents and brother's family gift baskets (they don't read/know of this blog to the best of my knowledge).  Though I just about spit when the two baskets of cookies and other assorted baked goodies (+ shipping!) totaled over $150.   I should go back to see if the cookies contain gold chips or spun with some other precious metal.

Hope to start writing out the Christmas cards later today or this weekend.  Put the final touches on the Christmas letter this morning... but, thanks to my relatively new "work" laser duplex printer, I had to figure out how to position the holiday stationery in the paper tray so it would print correctly.  Flipped over with the top of the paper closest to me.  Only took three attempts.

With the display up for almost a week now, and despite my the mental duress... I am quite pleased with how the front yard turned out... though I just wish it was a tad further away from two insanely lit houses... it's like we're Knot's Berry Farm right next door to frickin' DisneyLand... I know, I know... I need to just let that go!

We are planning to get together for some pre-holiday festivities with Scott & Buckaroo this weekend... so if any of Scott's competition for the 2007 QueerVerve Awards is interested in sabotage outsourcing, I am currently entertaining monetary offers. 

Currently, in my own race, I am hanging on to the #2 spot for Best Entertainment/Gossip Blog... though that's pretty tentative... from what I can tell, I am the only one who is even begging for votes promoting their nomination.  Need another reason to vote for me?!   I'm the only one of the bunch that is free of advertising!  (No offense, to those of you who do... I am just trying to differentiate myself from the competition and distract from the fact that this isn't a full-time entertaintment/gossip blog as proven by this very entry).

It's Called SILENT Night

A week or so ago, we watched the Christmas at Rockefeller Center Tree Lighting show on NBC... it was definitely a mixed bag of musical performances...

Goose-bump inducing awesome (Josh Groban)
Quite Good (Carrie Underwood)
Mondo Cheesy (High School Musical's Ashley Tisdale)
Bit Senile (Tony Bennett... We love him... but sorry, just not a good night!)
... and Tad Inappropriate (Celine Dion capping the show off with her cover version of Heart's Alone)

Now there were some performances that we fast-forwarded thru (bo-RING)... but this was such a wreck we were simply glued...

I generally don't like to go too negative here ... but at times like this, I am reminded of this exchange from Sex and the City:

Stanford: Before I tell you, you have to promise not to judge.
Carrie: Do I judge?
Stanford: We all judge. That's our hobby. Some people do arts and crafts... we judge.

Without further ado... country artist (and just nominated today for a Best New Artist Grammy) Taylor Swift  "singing" Silent Night:

Ooooooouchie!   Is it "sleep in heavenly peace" or "wake the dead"!?!?   And it's pretty much a dead heat between which is more hideous...  the singing or the mangling arrangement.

Now I could be wrong.  When searching for this ... there were folks who thought it was... (a) awesome, (b) amazing, (c) cute, and (d) gr8!!!!

So give me your best Randy, Paula, or Simon... what do you think?!

Just a bit pitchy... did she "make it her own"... or, do my ears not deceive me and we officially cyber-charger Ms. Swift for assault and battery on a holiday classic?

Halls Decked, Check!

It's threatening to be a frenzied work day... but while I am in "hurry up and wait" mode, let's see if I can get in a blog post about this past weekend's activities.

As the title suggests, we are as decked out for the holidays as we are going to get!

With the weather still a bit dicey on Saturday (we had a rare for Phoenix all-day rain "event" on Friday), we concentrated on the interior. 

First order of business... the holiday card!  As I hinted, this year I decided on something other than the standard boxed card.  More details... it's a photo card this year and if my regular readers think about it for a half a split-second they can probably guess what's the subject matter was and why it threatened to be an ordeal. The "staging" ended up going surprisingly well... and after a couple dozen pictures were snapped... the decision was to go with the very first photo taken (of course!).   I will share the "official" holiday photo with you closer to the big day!

The crazier part was printing out the photo.  I cropped and "fixed" the picture on my computer and put in back on the memory card.  The first place we went to didn't instantly print out the pictures for you (it was more than 1-hour thing??), so headed to Target where I knew they had a printer.  My cropped/fixed pic didn't work... so ended up starting from scratch on the original photo and re-doing the fixes.  Needless to say, Target was a crazy place to be... but we took advantage and were able to buy the photo holiday cards (slipping in the newly printed photo) and we also bought some replacement lights for the front yard.

Next, it was a trip to Petsmart to buy another doggie gate/pen.  There was no doubt in my mind that our tree (and the lights on the tree, ornaments, garland, etc.) would not be in peril if it was not protected... again, not naming any names (but it rhymes with fa-la-la-la-Locky).

In the afternoon, other holiday indoor decor was distributed about the house... the tree went up... and post-dinner it was trimmed... all without any major incident.

Sunday we tackled the yard.  And while ultimately, it all came out fine... I pretty much thought I was going to have a mental breakdown (or two) and/or not be in a relationship by the time it was all over.  Being a brand new decade older (my quads are pretty much "toast" today)... and almost reduced to tears over tangled strings of lights... has me thinking next year's display should probably be scaled back/simplified.  Patience wore thin/frustration grew in distributing the lights across the yard... trying not to attach too many strings of lights too each other... etc.

Upon returning from Sunday dinner out... we were pleasantly surprised to pull up to the house and see that all the lights were all on ... no blown fuses or electrical fires.  Everything really looked quite good with only a few minor adjustments to be made... though the few thousand lights in our front yard still looks like something Santa's frickin' wonderland right across the street meekly burped out.   

(I likely won't bother taking pictures of the front yard this year... pretty much no design changes from last year)

I am very happy to have made some holiday progress... it was really weighing on me... which seems so anti-holiday, but I think something where many of us go vs. the warm and fuzzy spirit.

Now, I just have to get around to some shopping... though, at this point (when did it get to be Dec 3rd?!?!), I'm thinking the cross-country family members are going to have to be satisfied with some mail-order basket-y stuff and gift cards... which would be perfectly fine for me in return.   

UPDATE: 

I'm quietly working and suddenly hear the whirl of leaf-blowers... the landscapers are here for their once a month visit of the front yard!  Dozens of meticulously placed, but easily moved, strings of lights strewn around our yard!   

In the immortal, guttural, and insanely over-promo'd word of Desperate Housewives' Lynette Scavo... and post-tornado'd Wisteria Lane...

"Aaaaarrrhhaaaaaaa...aaaahhhhheaaaaaahahhaa!

(deep breath)

"Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrhhaaaarrrrhrhhrhrrhrhrhhrhaaaaaaa!"

All appears to be fine... though I'll take a more detailed walking tour of the yard a bit later.

Mental Jumper Cables... Anyone?

After the long Thanksgiving weekend, it's always difficult getting started again... but considering my deficiency in the momentum department even before the holiday, you can imagine what I am feeling like today!

As I run-down the weekend activities, that certainly doesn't appear to be the case... but just because I'm physically moving doesn't mean the head/mind is necessarily following.

Todd's sister arrived without travel incident on Wednesday night... well, if you don't count traveling from NM to  AZ, via TX and OK... but that's pretty common on Southwest Airlines, particularly when originating out of a small(er) airport/market. 

Of course, Thursday was the big Thanksgiving gathering in Tucson ... a total of 10 of us.  As always, thankful to be "adopted" into the family and comfortable enough to enjoy watching everyone interact... and with pretty much no effort on my part other than showing up and eating (and drinking)... it doesn't get much better than that.

Friday, we met up with Todd's family for lunch at the kinda/sorta halfway point between Tucson and Phoenix... the quickly burgeoning town of Casa Grande (I am convinced that in my lifetime there will be little undeveloped land on I-10 between Phx-Tuc).   And while we certainly weren't planning on it, we couldn't avoid being a Black Friday participant, though it wasn't for holiday shopping.  I won't name names (hint: it rhymes with Glocky), but someone destroyed Todd's wireless adapter while being left without his humans on Thanksgiving day... but thankfully at 5pm Best Buy wasn't too bad... and no damage was done to the brand-spanking new computer.

Todd's sister headed out early Saturday morning... so a pretty typical weekend otherwise... and while there is more, to speed things along I will merely mention we headed to the car show at the Phoenix Convention Center on Saturday... and to the dog park on Sunday.

Winter (well, at least Phoenix's version) seems to have arrived.  While Thanksgiving was beautiful weather-wise... by the weekend, I found myself donning socks, sweatpants, and long sleeves.... with morning temps dipping into the 40s.  But alas, with Thanksgiving behind us and the sudden onset of cooler weather... that oomph is not quite there to get going on the next holiday. 

Todd was a bit shocked when he overheard me talking to my Mom on the phone that I had absolutely no desire/motivation to get started on the holiday decorations.  In the past, I am usually rarin' to go.  While I am not as bad as my Mom with regards to the holidays ("I wish there was a pill you could take, that you would just wake up when it was all over"), I might be headed in that direction.  Beyond the decorating, I haven't even started any shopping and likewise have little idea of what to get anyone (though, thankfully, that list of people is short)... and then there's the card (a self-inflicted "great idea" that will require considerably more effort than usual), the holiday letter, etc.

It will have to kick in next weekend.  The impetus for the front yard will be neighborhood peer pressure, while the inside (i.e. the tree) gets done thanks to Todd's parents stopping by the following week on their way to/from a weekend getaway (and perhaps their only holiday time visit this year).  Ultimately, all these things do make me very happy... I really do love all the lights... but increasingly it seems harder and harder getting to that point.

Halloween 2007 Recap

We had a decent amount of trick or treaters last night.  I always panic about candy.  I seemingly buy a ton of it (this year was 300 pieces) and during the "rush" I think we're going to run out... but then we have plenty of leftovers... though not as much as I thought, maybe in the 50-60 piece range .... it's all the "fun size" candy, so we give out 2-3 pieces to each person.

My cutest award goes to a little girl who was a geisha and instead of verbally thanking me, she bowed after I dropped the candy into her little Halloween pumpkin bucket.

While most of the kids were pretty polite, of course the you tend to remember the others.

Of course, there were more than a handful of "kids" who weren't wearing any sort of costume.  Todd took care of one group of kids, that feature one wearing a "costume" that consisted of a Burger King "crown" and a trash bag for his candy.

Another kid made a request that I give him gum... sorry, no gum... just fine chocolates from the Hershey company... deal with it.

I had a "ninja" that informed me he would "drop-kick my face" if I didn't give him candy.  While appreciative that he was committed to his costume/role, it didn't find it all that endearing.

And what exactly is the deal of parents trick-or-treating with the kids?!?   I would guess I gave candy to at least 5 parents.  I don't know what parents were more annoying the ones with kids of an age that they could run up to the door without close supervision.... or parents with babies?  Does your two-year old really need a Charleston Chew?  One time I had to go completely out the door to drop candy into a bag that was on top of a stroller!

So another Halloween in the books... and now the full attention turns to Thanksgiving and the December holidays... not quite ready for that!

Christmas Goodies

Despite not a creature stirring here at W&C of late (yes, not even a mouse)... we survived Christmas. 

We had a really wonderful time spending the day with Scott & Buckaroo... it was Mexican food and margaritas galore!  Yep, it's not your mamma's baked ham and sweet potato casserole when you're invited over to our house for Christmas!

And despite having known each other now for well over a year, it was the first time our "children" met as S&B's Bailey and new puppy Karter came face-to-face with our Toby.  I think we were all a bit nervous, but everyone was quite happy and well-behaved. 

Why were our dogs so well-behaved?  Well, a perfect segue to some of the fun stuff Santa brought me.  First up, this t-shirt...

I am a huge fan of Cesar Millan and The Dog Whisperer... and with a new pup in the house, S&B have started watching as well.  So let's say there was a lot of "chch-ing" going on.   Now granted I only have a "pack of one" but at least folks will know Toby is under control when I am walking him around the neighborhood.  We joked that it might be interesting to see the reaction this t-shirt would get in a gay bar.  You can find this shirt and other products at Cesar's official web site.

Next up, I didn't have to make a trip to the Scranton, PA Chili's restaurant to get this t-shirt...

My very own Dunder-Mifflin t-shirt!  Extra awesome... on the back, it shows I'm a Dundie Award Winner!  Not sure what category I won, but safe to say Phyllis is likely still the Busiest Bushiest Beaver  (one of my all-time favorite Office moments). You can find this shirt and pretty much anything from the peacock network at the NBC Universal Store.

Finally, our new gadget... and a kitchen one too... so doubly good! 

A Keurig Single Coffee Cup Brewer!

Todd has had some personal experience with Keurig since they have an industrial version at his work. 

It's really quite cool... you just pop a K-Cup (pictured next to the machine and in greater detail below) into the machine an in about 15-seconds you have a freshly brewed cup of coffee... or mug or travel mug... you specify the size of your beverage container by pressing one of those three buttons you see below that blue screen.

The K-Cups are just adorable.  They come in dozens and dozens of varieties... bold, dark, medium strengths... all kinds of flavors... even organic!  And, if you don't like coffee, there are many varieties of tea too!  No muss, fuss, or mess... you pop in the K-Cup "as is"... the machine automatically punctures it, shoots thru hot water and in about 15 seconds you have the hot beverage of your choice.  Pop out the K-Cup (which amazingly doesn't leak at all) and throw it away.

We've now become obsessed with finding K-Cups.  We picked up a couple of boxes at some local stores, but will likely do most of our future shopping online. Price-wise, the range seems to be 35 to 50 cents per cup, depending on where you shop.  Seems a bit pricey, but then I only have to remind myself that a trip to Starbucks for 2 pretty much relieves us of a $10 bill... so really not bad at all.

And even better yet, you don't need to use the ready-to-go/branded K-Cups... get a My K-Cup (that brown thing above)... and you can put a couple scoops of any of your own ground coffee for use in the machine.   

So needless to say... though we definitely don't need it... we are drinking more coffee, especially after dinner where we were just too lazy it never seemed to make sense to make a pot of coffee.  Time to get those decaf K-Cups! 

   

Merry Christmas (Indeed!)

I have not heard a thing about my car accident since July.  While certainly curious, the whole thing had put me in a funk for far too long... so I tucked it away and placed my faith in the 'ole adage "no news is good news."

In today's mail, lurking among a handful of Christmas cards, was an envelope from my insurance company.  My heart sunk... no way was this crap going to resurface just days before Christmas.

I cautiously opened it...

December 19, 2006
We have concluded the handling of your insurance claim (date of loss: May 12, 2006) in which we were attempting collection.  We were able to make a recovery which included your deductible.  We are attaching our payment which is your proportionate share of your deductible based on the same percentage as our recovery.

Out popped a check for $500 -- 100% of my deductible. 

Like some sappy Christmas movie, the music began to swell with "The End" popping onto the screen.

I kind of feel like Jimmy Stewart running through town...  Merry Christmas, movie house! Merry Christmas, Emporium! Merry Christmas, you wonderful old Building and Loan!

So, political-correctness aside, Merry Christmas to all!

Here is the Christmas card that I sent out to most of the folks on my snail-mail list:

Inside: Wishing You Peace and Happiness this Christmas and in the New Year.

Todd is home all next week... I am working "as needed"... so I am going to try to detach myself from the computer as much as possible... thus W&C likely won't be back in full-gear until the New Year... stay safe, don some gay apparel, remember to breathe... eat, drink, and be merry!

MisMatch #4 - Holiday Edition

... and not only a special holiday edition... but one pulled from real-life events!

So you are innocently walking your dog... and come across this holiday display...

... while The Divinyls' "I Touch Myself" is playing on your iPod.