Whine & Cheese

Act Your Age, Not Your...

As I mentioned, yesterday I took my MINI Cooper up for its annual maintenance check... and one thing that makes its bearable is that I don't have to sit around the dealership and wait for it... as one of my good friends from my old workplace lives close by (one of the bad things about a Cooper is dealerships are few and far between, so I have to drive nearly 30 miles to get it serviced - which I know is probably a lot shorter distance than a lot of other folks).

So while we should do a  lunch/catch-up session more than once a year... we all know how time seems to fly by and it just does not seem to happen.  But we were very good buddies, killing way too much gossiping each morning, but always with some paperwork close at hand for cover.  I'll definitely date myself by telling you our morning after Melrose Place "can you believe it?!!" chats were... wait for it... legendary!  (Funny enough, we both watch and love Brothers & Sisters now... and she kinda resembles Calista Flockhart)

She also made me feel slightly old by mentioning that her eldest daughter was turning 11 this weekend and reminding me that we had lunch together the very same day she went into labor!

Anyhow, the conversation got around to American Idol (shocking I know!) and going over our favorites... we're liking the same folks Kris, Adam, and Allison... but then she totally cracked me up, saying her 11 year old daughter turned to her the other night after Kris performed and said...

"I like his face. I like his hair. I like the way he sings. I like everything about him."

To which I replied that we pretty much have the same conversation each week at our house!

Guess it's time to start to act my age, not my shoe size... or not.

I'm Here

I think it was just this past Friday that Todd mentioned to me that he was a bit concerned about the lack of activity here at W&C...so figured it was time for a post not related to a book or American Idol...  and don't worry (or cheer) this is NOT a "I'm closing up shop" post.

A little while back I gave myself permission that if I didn't feel compelled to write something that I shouldn't.  I never wanted this blog  to become a chore, but I'll admit that I did start to feel pressure after maintaining a pretty much "every weekday" schedule for many, many years.  I've been doing this since September 2003... an incredible stretch for someone who will be the first to admit his tendency to not stick to things ... tell it to the gym membership, the baseball card collection, walking the dog, etc

This has been an incredible outlet for me.  Working alone (and 97% of the time having no human interaction - in-person or phone - the latter btw being totally okay with me), this is my watercooler and pretty my connection to the world Monday thru Friday, 12 hours a day.

So why the W&C hiatus? 

Well, I am in the midst of working some stuff out... most of it on the work-related doorstep... and while it wasn't a conscious one (and in retrospect), it appears that I made the decision not to primarily deal with it here.  I'm chalking it up to a minor mid-life crisis and fueled on by the economic downturn... exposing some raw nerves or having me pick at some long-formed scabs re: work/career.  It's been building for awhile, but much more easily ignored or not dealt with when the projects and $$$ were rolling in carefree manner... and while things could be a whole lot worse (thank goodness we have so little/no overhead) it's still leading me to re-evaluate and struggle figuring a way to deal with (or more accurately, accept) the new realities on the ground... and/or how things may be from now on (or for the foreseeable future).  Top it with a whole weight gain thing... which is/was something I never had to worry about... has only added a visible/ physical /tangible dimension to it all... and well, I haven't been the most pleasant person to be around of late!

And that is a bit troubling, because I view myself as fun and pleasant (and hold out hope that others view me the same, which I think they do) and I've just let other things hijack that... now it's not all shadows and darkness, there are still genuine and lots of fun and frothy thoughts and things going on (as my FB and Twitter stuff suggests - I hope!), but for now this long form I think would just allow me to wallow too much... and while part of the blog title is "whine"... wallow is a quite a different animal that lacks is not a particular productive activity for oneself nor much entertainment value to others (I know this my blog, but I wouldn't be honest to say that it has an audience - regular or random). 

Anyhow, I'm working things out... and do honestly believe I'm on my way up/out... I think this post is actually proof of that... but still a work in progress...

Still Here

Hey folks... no worries, I am still around and nothing is wrong or awry.  While I have typically blogged pretty much every weekday, I made the decision a little while back to stop "worrying" about it if I don't... and it's always good advice  that if you don't have anything to say, it's probably not worth trying to say something.  This is vs. the old adage of "if you don't have anything nice to say..." now that is probably worth a blog entry!

I will admit (again!) that things likes Facebook and Twitter (though my Twitters are 95.7% the same as my FB statuses) are cannibalizing this here blog... and while the 140 character limit is adequate in many (most!?!) instances, I love to ramble on way too much to ever ignore W&C (or, the "long form," as I now tend to call it) for too long... also, and most importantly, this is the place I am most un-filtered (or some may say, borderline menacing... hee hee!).  I think many of us can relate to the self-censorship that lurks when it comes to our "friends" on FB and the ilk!  And heck, I won't say that that never happens here either...  but much less than anywhere else in cyber-land!

So, keep checking back... even if there is nothing new in this here main portion, usually something is changing to the right in the sidebar. 

25 Random Things About Me

There is this a meme going around Facebook where folks are sharing 25 Random things about them.  For those of us who have been around for awhile, a few years back the thing to do was a "100 Things About Me" post... I think this was even before the word "meme" was invented.  Anyhow, I was finally tagged yesterday on it... so in a not terribly inspired move, I went back to my 100 Things post (which I posted right here on this blog on January 1st, 2004!) and pulled out my 25 "best of" ... actually combining some of the 100, since I didn't have to "stretch" it as much.

So for those of you who have been around here for a looooong time, here's a reminder... and for those of you who are newer, here's perhaps a few things you may not know about me!

1. I moved to Arizona in 1990 and age 22. It still surprises me. Not a whole heck of my family budged very far from NJ (likely dating back to arriving at Ellis Island) and it's not generally part of my nature to do such "big" things.

2. The reason I moved to Arizona was to go to Arizona State University for an MBA. Basically I made the decision to attend ASU based on how much I loved AZ (and the weather) while visiting relatives.

3. I am self-employed (9 year anniversary in May) and work out my home. None of my post-ASU jobs ever utilized that MBA degree.

4. Despite incessant begging, I was never allowed to have a pet growing up as a kid. This led to "making up for lost time" when I moved to AZ. In the past 18 years, 6 cats and 3 dogs have been a part of day-to-day life. As of this writing, the count stands at 2 cats and 1 dog.

5. Despite repeatedly watching dog training shows, I remain the "good cop" when it comes to my pets - with their comfort more often than not taking priority over my own.

6. I hated being dragged to my brother's Little League baseball games so much, that I would often (gladly) be sent off to my grandparents for a couple of weeks over the summer. Oddly enough, one of the highlights of my life was attending all 4 home games, and particularly the Game 7 9th inning win for the AZ Diamondbacks in the 2001 World Series.

7. Prior to college, I had never had any topping on a pizza other than sauce and cheese. These days, I'll eat pretty much whatever you can put on a piece of baked bread.

8. My favorite food genre is Mexican... something that I had never experienced until I moved to Arizona (which is retrospect is probably a good thing)

9. I talk to my Mom on the phone at least once a week and, at max, to my Dad perhaps 4 times of the year. We get along fine, just not that big of a talker.

10. With the exception of my Mom, I hate talking on the phone -- or would go as far to say I am phobic about making phone calls, even it's calling up to order pizza.

11. In the 5th grade I was hit by a car while riding a bicycle. I did not sustain any major injuries, other than some bumps and bruises... and remains (knock on wood) the only time I've been in an ambulance and to a hospital (as the "patient").

12. I was a writer/photographer for several years for an online tennis magazine, back when the Internet/Web was a new thing. It was a fantasy come true combining all my true loves (tennis, writing, photography), but after several years of doing it I realized I wasn't "good enough" to do any of it as a job.

13. My childhood dentist did not use Novocaine for fillings (the only time it was used was for a tooth extraction). This lead to a fear of dentists (I remember running out of his chair and out the front door of the office one time), until about a decade ago when I got a lot of work done and now go to the dentist 3x/year for cleanings.

14. The week after I moved to Phoenix, the all-time high temperature of 122 degrees was hit. While that was truly crazy, I still stand my belief that a "dry heat" makes a huge difference.

15. I don't like public restrooms... and I'll just leave it at that.

16. I have needed corrective vision since the 4th Grade... did not get contact lenses until I was a sophomore in college... and these days, wear lenses that I swap out on a monthly basis. I'm not sure I will ever feel comfortable enough to have elective eye surgery (aka LASIK)

17. As of this writing, I have seen 68 *different* musicals. This is largely thanks to having season tickets to the Broadway Across America series. I have become a theater snob of sorts and found that most of the shows really aren't very good.

18. 5 years I had never been a to a foreign country other than Canada (which hardly counts). That count is now up to 5: French Polynesia, England, France, Netherlands, and China. The latter 4 all coming within a 6-month time span in 2008, a year I traveled about 25,000 miles and one that is likely never to be repeated.

19. My recall of 1980s trivia/music is often better than where I put my car keys and other more recent activities.

20. I don't like celery, mushrooms, or olives - but can deal with any of they are either well-cooked, in small pieces, or hidden in a dish (though I don't mind knowing that they're in there).

21. I could not imagine life without TiVo and pretty much refuse to watch "live" television these days... and can be compulsive in trying to figure out how much a show needs to be time-shifted to finish at the same time as the "live" broadcast.

22. A couple of years out of grad school, I found myself with over $30K worth of student loan / credit card debt. Once I made the effort, it took me about 7 years to get out of it and these days I rarely even allow myself to carryover a credit card balance.

23. My first concert was Hall & Oates (I believe 'til Tuesday opened for them) and camped out overnight (only once!) for tickets to Bruce Springsteen's 'Born in the USA' tour (circa 1985).

24. My (undergrad) college graduation ceremony lasted 10 minutes thanks to a torrential downpour. Kinda felt a bit robbed, but had got another chance at a real one at ASU about 6 years later... and despite gorgeous weather, the ASU one was indoors.

25. I love to cook - as long as it for someone other than myself!

Rafa, Donde estan los guns?

I was planning on a book post today (I am currently on my 3rd book of 2009!), but work has intervened... and as I quite smartly entitled part of this blog "whine"... it allows for the occasional rant before getting to the "cheese" portion of this post... begin... my job continues to be a drag on my overall satisfaction / happiness / mental well-being... either due to sudden disappearance shortly after all this economic turmoil began (pre-Thanksgiving??) or else the new reality that what work we are now getting is of the ugly / intense / miserable / head-exploding / no one else wants to do it variety. 

So there I said it!  Out there in the universe!  Perhaps, I can start letting it go... internalizing it... etc!

That said, I am grateful to have a job (even at a 20%+ pay cut for the last 3 months) and health-care insurance, even if it is highway robbery and I never use it (again, thankfully!).   End.

Anyyyyyyhowwwww....

One thing that did make me smile this morning was this sign in the crowd at last night's Aussie Open quarterfinal match between Rafa Nadal and Gilles Simon.

As I mentioned earlier this year (and with some shock and dismay), Rafa has moved away from his on-court sleeveless look (this "express lane" item suggests that Nike is hoping more "normal" folks would buy Rafa clothing if it wasn't the flashy sleeveless and pirate pants look)... so I got a real kick over these signs... the Spanglish... and mostly that it was guys holding up the signs!  Ha!

So yea, while I was enamored with the sleeveless look, I think Rafa is still rockin' the sleeves... what do you think?!

Body Rebellion

Ok... as kinda promised, back to mid-life crisis mode.

In what seems to be a perfect storm of "stuff," it also seems like my body is starting to rebel.  Last Friday, I mentioned (twittered) that my lower back had kind of gone out on me, actually it wasn't all too bad... it really just bugged me when I tried to get up or down... or move around... you definitely start to feel old when you must "shuffle"... anyhow you move a whole lot more than you think when any slight wrong move can lead to discomfort (I won't go as far to call it "pain").  The best I can describe it is that my lower back feels crunched down like an accordion... often accompanied with shooting discomfort down the legs (self-diagnosis would say its sciatica-ish).  At the time, I was worried about dealing with the sitting for 2.5 hours for The Lion King... and in not terribly comfortable seats, but I managed.  And like I said, it wasn't too bad... though over the weekend it did kind of move around to my shoulder blade area and then neck, but eventually worked itself out .

But then this morning, I am dealing with this mid-back muscular thing... that is throwing off the my chest and makes it almost feels like I had a heart attack or something... no worries it's not, it definitely has that mirror/reverse image thing that is definitely middle back, but it is kind of annoying... and for someone who until very lately had a hard time reconciling his age, I have to say I am starting to feel it... and quickly!

Another thing that has decided to shut down is my metabolism.  A lot of folks kept telling me that once I hit 40 that things would change and it does almost seem as if a switch flipped.  I have been lucky to be one of those people who has never had to worry about weight and pretty much since I reached my "adult" weight I have been +/-5 pounds for I'd say a good 20 years without much worry about diet or exercise.

Now, I knew that had changed fairly in the past year or so, but I was a little surprised (ok, shocked!) to see by how much when I weighed myself this weekend.  Well, it was under the guise of weighing Rocky since I/we thought he had gained weight... which he did, if you can call a 1/2 lb-ish weight "gain."   Anyhow, I figured I had put on probably 15-20 lbs... so I weighed it and it came out to be 35-40 lbs, well that was an eye-opener.  The good news is vs. my "starting" weight (what I had been most of my adult life) I was underweight for my height, by that 15 lbs or so... so this "new" weight now puts me on the upper limit of "normal weight" for my height.  Yikes! 

So I'm not sure what happens next, I should make an effort to move around a bit more ... this is definitely a case where having your commute be a walk down a hallway is not a great thing... and I should take Rocky along, as he is another thing I feel like I am dropping the ball re: his exercise and activity level (which leads him to "I'm bored" behavior, i.e. the cats being in constant "level red" terror alert status).

That's today's diatribe... maybe writing things down will make a difference!  Ha!

King Redux

On Friday, we went to see The Lion King as part of our season tickets for Broadway Across America.  This is the second time it's been part of our package, and while I thought it was quite good the first time I saw it years ago I think I was a bit disappointed (I went back and found my original "review" back from January 2005).  I don't think anyone can not be impressed with the creative genius and execution of this show, but last time I think I was a little a bit cold on the emotional end of it.  Not so this time, I have to admit I got a bit verklempt during the opening Circle of Life number - which I think I have to officially name as the most incredible opening of any show I have ever seen (and that's saying something).

I think there are a couple of reasons why I had a more positive reaction to the show this time.  As I was trying to say at the end of my 2008 year in review book post, I think when you experience a show, book, movie, etc. your view of it is going to be dependent on where you are in life and what you are (or are not!) bringing to the table.  In this case, 3 years later... it's 3 years more life experience... definitely 3 more years of a handful+ of craptastic shows to make me appreciate this show even more... and I think most of us would agree "life" is not perhaps as carefree as it was 3 years ago... and I'll try to not burden this blog down too much by these continuing feelings... though it appears I haven't timed my mid-life crisis very well!  But that said, I was really pumped up leaving the show... I think nothing beats live theater.

As you may have caught in my Twitter sidebar item, we had an extra thrill of having Muhammad Ali sitting 6 rows ahead of us.  I knew that he has lived in the Valley for awhile, but still you don't expect to see him in person.  It was kind of funny, I nudged Todd and asked if he thought if that's who it was... and about that same time, there was this rumble of recognition throughout the audience... many who began went on to applaud "The Greatest" - it was a very nice thing, but I thought a bit strange too.  What I really didn't like was at intermission with folks obviously gawking and sticking cameras and mostly cell phones and taking pictures.  I hoped they asked if it was okay, but I still thought it was a pretty rude.

Hmmm... I had suspected this would be more a mid-life crisis mode post, but perhaps today I should just leave it at this.  So, something to look forward to... or not, if I change my mind... ha!

I Know How You Feel

I've been tempted to do a post about my feelings about the continuing economic meltdown, but I have really struggled to how to communicate it... and every time I have tried, it comes out the wrong way and/or would be ripe for misinterpretation... 

So fully admitting I am self-censoring... I will let my W&C mascot, Rafa Nadal, be my "a picture is worth a thousand words"

I'm betting Todd only wished I looked that adorable when I was feeling this way!

Anyhow, I twittered earlier this week that I found myself going through the 5 Stages of Grief re: all that is going on (or perhaps, NOT going on) in the economy.   For those not familiar with Kubler-Ross's quintet, those stages are: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.   While I noted I was "Angry" about it a few days, I also noted that these stages have seemed to randomize and repeat over the past few months... so much like the economy, it seems like it is a ugly vicious cycle.

What I feel makes it difficult for me to write about it publicly is that despite all that is going on, we are thankfully in pretty good shape at the moment and have the ability to (hopefully!) ride this out for awhile... and that is despite that fact that I took a hefty pay-cut and not having any substantive work since before Thanksgiving... and that Todd's company this week announced mass layoffs, salary cuts and forced-time off without pay (and I'm likely leaving a few other things out - it was not pretty!). 

So my frustration (and perhaps that's a much better word than those 5 above), is that I have felt we've done the right things, but... and alas that's where I feel I get into potential trouble in that the intimation is that others have not done the "right" thing(s) and/or that I am not grateful and/or complain about anything short of not having a roof over my head, food on the table, or ability to keep paying the bills... so if I figure out how to communicate this the way I genuinely mean it, I'll get back to it... and unfortunately, I think there may be plenty of time for that!

Woke Up This Morning

... though did not get myself a gun.

For those of you wondering what the heck I am talking about, that's the opening lines of the song that opened up The Sopranos.  The last time I was in NJ, I decided to take Todd on a little tour of some of the spots highlighted in the opening montage... some of them I was quite familiar with, while others I had to do a little research.

One of them is the picture below, the oft-seen storefront of Satriale's Pork Store.  A few months after our stop (which appears to be June 2007), the building was demolished to be replaced by condo project (named Sopranos Court if I recall)...

So why I am sharing this with you today, well this picture become my 26th picture to enter the 300+ View Set I created on Flickr... the 9th (of a total of 16) Sopranos related picture to reach that milestone.  I don't tend to hawk my photos all too much within Flickr, so 300 hits is pretty significant and I find very specific subject matter is what will get attention... i.e., no one cares to see an upteenth picture of the Statue of Liberty, but the real/fictional home of the Soprano clan... bingo!

Anyhow, not much going on (as you probably figured out)... still trying/struggling to get back into a routine... or minimally, at mustering up some momentum... work is still sketchy on the good news front I think I am emerging form that that pre-holiday funk and the during/post blissfulness of nothingness... but until I get rolling, blogging may be a little light... though whenever I say something like that, I usually end up making myself a liar... but, as always, keep your eye on the sidebar or Twitter (140 characters or less is fairly effortless).

Weekend Review

It was a pretty busy weekend, but oddly enough not much had to do with the rapidly approaching holiday.  As I suggested last week, my panic holiday post tends to kick me into gear and things tend to fall quickly into place once I get going. 

So, pretty much there are a lot of things that would be worthy of a full post, and I might get back to those I skim over, but here we go.

On Friday, ended up having a good talk with Todd over dinner... well, it wasn't about dinner... but about me.  I have self-admittedly been in a big 'ole funk lately... it has been the proverbial "perfect storm" of things, but I have been pretty moody and usually takes one of those mood swings (in the bad direction), to get around to talking about things.  It's nothing bad, but just some mental homework so I don't get too/further down... and admitting you have a a problem (or the start of one) is always the big first step... even that makes it sound more serious than it is... it's more like that Cher "Snap out of it!" slap from Moonstruck.  

So there was nothing better to cheer me up after that then to head off to a angsty musical about oppression, suicide, a botched "medical procedure," and lost love... Spring Awakening... pretty an R-rated Romeo and Juliet set in 1890s Germany... fun, huh?!   Well, I loved it.  It's still all sinking in, so I am really not sure how much I can honestly say about it.... but I will echo what I twittered about it over the weekend, that it restored my faith in musical theater.  As a season ticket holder, we see so much crappy theater ... that it was great to see something so different, edgy, and ambitious.  I kind of felt old, as I found myself thinking that the youth of these days have their musical... much like I feel about Rent (even though I was likely a bit too old for that to be my show either).  I've been hesistant to download some of my favorite songs from the show as I'm thinking I should just download the full cast recording. 

Then, Saturday night was some good 'ole Southwestern holiday celebration... more so of the New Mexican variety than Arizona.  First, we went to one of our favorite restaurants and decided to change it up a bit and just get some appetizers and soup instead of our favorite entrees.  We definitely wanted some posole (a pork and hominy-ish, red-chile based soup/stew) and then we got some loaded nachos and foo-foo'd it up a bit with some crab cakes (the habernero aioli is the star ingredient for me)... and we ended up more stuffed than usual (and the check pretty much came out to be the same vs. just order two regular entrees).  But good stuff!

Then we were off to the Desert Botanical Garden for Las Noches de las Luminarias... in my 18 years here in Phoenix, I am kind of embarrassed to say that I had never been to the Garden... not even for the Luminarias, which is a big 'ole holiday tradition here in the Valley.  Despite seemingly expanding the number of nights each year, the event -- where over 7,000 luminarias placed around the Garden -- sells out each and every year.  

But I am so glad we went this year, because in addition to the "lumis" (as the signs around the Garden seemed to like to call them) they are currently in the midst of a 6-month exhibit of the incredible glass artwork of Dale Chihuly - and his first outdoor exhibit in a desert setting.  Before this, I was most familiar with Chihuly's stunning glasswork flower ceiling in the lobby of the Bellagio in Vegas.  But the combination of the luminarias and the glass work was stunning, though Todd and I both felt it certainly detracted/distracted from the traditional Southwestern holiday display of luminarias. 

And the night proved to be a challenge for me from a photography standpoint, I had kinda sorta thought I figured it out when I was experimenting with the "Manual" mode of my camera while in Paris.  I was thrilled with those results and intended to repeat them here.  But quickly things did not seem to be jiving.  The difference was that I was dealing with a whole lot of different settings and lighting... and unlike the stationary Eiffel what worked in one picture didn't work for the other... it wasn't just a matter of changing the shutter speed or aperture. 

Fortunately, Todd was able to talk me down from my frustration/panic (are you detecting a behavioral pattern here!?!) and get me using the flexpod was very much needed (though I am kinda kicking myself that I didn't bring the "real" tripod) and calmed me down enough that I was able to talk out a Plan B (manually focusing and going to "program" mode, giving the control back to camera in making those aperture and shutter speed "decisions").   

Ultimately, I would say about 60% of the pics did not turn out well ... which sent me spinning, but then I just needed to flip that around that I did have 40% that were acceptable, which after some thought was still a pretty good.  Now, probably half of those (so we're down to 20% of the total shot) are good enough for Flickr or to share... but those I am very happy with!   And even before I get them up on Flickr, I'll share a couple of them with you here (and no post-processing either!):

Here is one of the Chihuly installs... and by far, my greatest success when it came to the Chihulys:

And one of my unofficial goals of the evening, was to get an image that I could use for a future Christmas card... and I think this one is it!   

For my photography buddies, this was a craaaazzzy 20 second exposure... and it was way darker out (probably around 7:30pm)!!  For my non-photography buddies, one can typically "hand hold" a camera for maybe 1 second without blurring/shaking it.