Whine & Cheese

Busy Times

Things have been quite and unusually busy of late!

Last week I had to report for jury duty for the very first time in the nearly 20 years I have been living in Arizona... and defying the odds, I was placed onto a jury.  Of 48 people that were in our pool and at least 40% of those being men, I was the only guy that made it to the jury of 10, that was later whittled down to 8 for deliberation.  Like most folks I was dreading the experience, but it actually was not bad at all.  It only last two days total and I noted that for the first time in nearly a decade of at-home/self-employment, it was kind of nice to have some place to go (though I am certainly glad to be back in my routine)!  I ended up being the jury foreman as the women, mostly 50+, ganged up on me.  It was kind of fun as it really didn't have much responsibility other than signing the verdicts and getting to say "Yes, we have" when the judge asked "Has the jury reached a verdict?" and handing the folder containing the verdicts to the bailiff (who was kind of a hottie). 

This past weekend was also a flurry of activity!  We saw Avenue Q as part of our theater season ticket package.  This is the first time the tour has come to AZ as it was embargoed from neighboring states while it was playing in Las Vegas at the Wynn several years ago (and where we saw it for the first time).  It is wonderfully politically incorrect and subversive... and thus I loved it (again)!  I was kind of curious who they would replace George Bush with in the finale "For Now,"  I thought they may go local and name our nationally known controversial sheriff, but they went with Glenn Beck, which I thought was still a good choice. 

On Saturday, we met up for lunch with some out-of-town friends.  Having visitors is quite a rare event for me.  While he was always did it begrudgingly, I think my Dad (and thus my Mom) has officially closed the books on coming out here for a visit.  I understood that hesitation while he was dealing with side/after-effects of prostate cancer, but I had thought those had gone away or become manageable, but perhaps not... and recently in discussions with my brother regarding my parents' upcoming 50th anniversary, he mentioned that he is no longer flying (and he and his family have never visited AZ).  I did not inherit that gene, that's for sure... more on that shortly!  So while having one's family not constantly dropping in is not a bad thing, it shows how excited I get when I do have someone in town.   Todd's brother's family is headed to AZ for spring break, so we'll see them in a couple of weeks and have plans to see a Suns game... and I am quite excited to meet one of my best to-date "Internet only" friends for the very first time next month. 

On Sunday, we day-tripped down to Tucson to visit Todd's parents.  Had a nice lunch and the biggest piece of tiramisu that I have ever seen in my life.  We are still trying to figure out if they gave us 4 portions, even though I was the only who asked for it.  There were no prices on the dessert menu, but it was like a small/medium sized cake when it came out and cost $9... which given that it easily fed the four of us, not a bad deal.  Rocky also made the trip down to test out the new fenced in backyard, which means that the puppy may be vacationing in Tucson now instead of at the kennel, errr... pet resort.

Which leads us to the big news of the weekend and a month or two in the planning... we booked our big vacation. 

So excited to be going to Italy, the first time for both of us.  After our 2008 trip to London, Paris and Amsterdam, it seemed that Italy was the next logical European destination to cross of the list.  We booked it through the same site as last time, European Destinations, which is just awesome in the ability to book all your # of nights, cities, hotels, and transportation all in one place. 

We're flying into Venice for 3 nights. This was a last minute bump up from 2 nights.  It was always a bit of a concern that we would be rushing it too much. We arrive in the morning (after 15-17 hrs of travel) and have that day, the next, and leaving midday the next, so really only one solid day... but now we have two full days, not including our day of arrival, which gives us some needed breathing room.  Next, we take a train to Florence/Tuscany for 3 nights and the plan there is take a day trip to a another city (via train), though we'll play it by ear.  Finally, we're off on another train to Rome for 4 nights.  Again, another bump of an extra night to give us some some leisure time... and we fly out of Rome. Overwhelmed but it all, but terribly excited... and only about 2 months away!

Ok, that's enough for now... and that's not even including that my first ever laptop should be arrving shortly as I plan to use it when I go back to visit my parents in a few weeks after my Mom has hip-replacement surgery... did I say things were busy!?!

Stressed Out? Three Questions To Ask Yourself

A couple of weeks ago on ABC World News there was this segment about dealing with stress.  While I often dismiss these soft/fluffy news stories, this one had some good advice.  I have started having these "light bulb moments" with some very simple and logical/no-brainer advice (like "eat real food").   It kind of reminds me of the pop-psychology books like Everything I Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten or Don't Sweat The Small Stuff (And It's All Small Stuff).  Before I continue, here's a link to the article about the report:

Stress. Anger. It's a problem we all face. And while it might be impossible to avoid the situations that bring these traits out in you, it turns out you CAN control how you react to them. In fact, doctors at Duke University are at the forefront of stress management studies, and say they've created strategies that are proven to reduce stress.

via abcnews.go.com

A lot of the issues I was having last year I think were only exacerbated by my inability to handle stress and anger.  I was going to say "effectively handle," but it was just "handle"... period.  I would simply fly off the proverbial handle over pretty much anything and everything.  Apparently, things got so bad that my biz partner pondered aloud (well, via email) that perhaps I was in the need for some counseling of the psychological nature.  Of course, this immediately pissed me off.  But, in again in the clearer vision of hindsight, it was probably (one of) the "Snap out of it!"/Moonstruck slaps to the face I needed, even if, ironically enough, it was work and that state of that very relationship which was one of the greatest sources of my bad attitude. 

Anyhow, given how not clearly I was thinking/feeling during that time, I am not sure this segment would have been helpful.  In the midst of a tornado, one is not exactly pulling out a check-list or looking for advice.  The centerpiece of the report was in  a stressful or angry situation to ask yourself 3 questions.  A "no" to any of them, should flow-chart you right out of it, while a "yes" to all 3 should set you on a path to resolution. Ready?!?

Question #1: Is this important?

These three words are a game-changer.  I imagine most of "everyday" stress (the report gave examples of getting cut-off in traffic or spilling a drink) can be diffused by this simple question.  I've been pretty even keel of late, but the few times I have felt myself leaning since watching this report, I have seen how power of this question.

Question #2: Is it reasonable for me to be angry?

This one I found to be a bit tricky, especially after one has passed the importance test... which would seem to suggest reasonableness.  But still it is one more speed bump to slow things down or perhaps the slightly better question to ask would be: Is it reasonable for me to be this angry?

Question #3: Can I modify/change the situation?

... or else, it's just giving some time to prepare for this big question.  It would have been at this question that I may have realized that the crux of my stress/anger was being in a not easily changeable situation, or more accurately, a situation that had changed and wasn't going back to the way it was anytime soon, if ever (ever, btw, being still to this very day).

Basically, this is the "shit or get off the pot" or the much more eloquent Serenity Prayer (God, grant me the serenity/To accept the things I cannot change;/The courage to change the things that I can;/And the wisdom to know the difference). I think this is valuable advice, especially if you have a tendency to wallow (hand raised here!).  It's certainly not a quick resolution like Question #, but it provides a choice: find a new/different way of looking at things or make a change.

Again, very simple words/advice but I think stuff that often gets away from us.  I have even gone so far as to put these 3 questions on a sticky note on my desk as a kind of "break in case of emergency" mental reminder. So far, so good!

Quiet = Not Good

Just wanted to do a quick post to officially say that it has been good to get back to blogging.  I hesitated to do this kind of post until it I was sure it was going to stick, but the decision to give W&C a new look was the sign I was subconsciously looking for... again, other than being tired of the old look, there was no premeditation re: overhaul until I did it!  

I took a look back at the last half of 2009 and there were only handful of entries beyond the reading/book posts, and even those weren't really what I would call good ones.  So, in coming back, I did make a conscious decision to not have the pressures (all self-inflicted, mind you) of posting daily or using some hazy measuring stick that they had to be substantive... just getting back to its original intention, being a place to say things, when (and if!) I have something to say/show/share!

Chattiness is a fairly good sign that I am happy/content.  And while this blog is half-named 'whine,' even when I am whining, things haven't totally devolved to a true/real low.  It is when I shut down/stay quiet for an extended period that thing are probably not okay.  Last year, there were a lot of challenges (mostly in the job and mid-life crisis-y department) and I know I was not a pleasant person to be around, in-person or not.  While I was long overdue for a blogging sabbatical having done it pretty darn consistently since September 2003, part of it was this mental shutdown with the re-boot took a few months with my increasing older operating system...   

... things started to turn around in the fall, with the Hawaiian vacation certainly helping out a lot.  But wanting to chat again... and beyond 140 characters... is something to feel good about and a true sign of being back online, in this case both literally and figuratively.  Anyone who knows me, knows that while 140 characters is sufficient for a good punchline every now and then and satisfies and urge, it is much too limiting for me.  This was always where I let things most hang loose, the place I am most myself.  Chatty and rambling... 

White Sands

No worries, I haven't forget about blogging on just this second full week of the New Year.  It didn't take long into 2010 for our first trip, though it was just a quickie 3-day weekend to Las Cruces, New Mexico to meet-up with Todd's brother and also check out some of the local sights (and even more importantly, the food!).  I had never been to this part of NM and it was an instrumental part of Todd's youth as he went to college in Las Cruces and grew up in nearby Alamogordo.  One thing is for sure, in New Jersey, I certainly didn't grow up near mountains or deserts or... atomic bomb explosion sites (and NJ gets the bad rap, ha!)

So instead of writing here, I have been busy catching up on some work and uploading pictures to Flickr.  I was fairly controlled, taking only about 140 photos. Ah, the age of the digital cameras when a number like that doesn't seem like much!  Typically, I only post about 20%-ish of the photos I take (there is a lot of experimenting going on + good 'ole just not good ones), but I think that percentage will be a bit higher from this trip.  I have a couple dozen more to go through, but have a bunch up right now.

Here is a pic from the White Sands National Monument.  It was high on our list of things to see. I have seen plenty of Southwestern desert landscapes, so I was a bit unsure about it going in, but it was truly spectacular.  There was even a thin layer of snow here and there that added a nice extra something to it (even Todd had never seen any kind of snow there).

Life Update & Vacation!

I know I haven't been around here all that much and when I have, it hasn't been a whole lot about "me"!  Part of that is a "sharing" backlash.  Oh, I am sharing plenty on Twitter and Facebook... but that really seems to be more than satisfying the quota of what I want to share and, more accurately, what other people want to hear! 

I am questioning this "evolution" (and I use that term very, very, very, very loosely!!) of what online communication has turned into is a good thing.  I am certainly feeling more ADD than ever, so that's another big reason I have been around here less often...but I am also sensing folks not having the attention to read more than 140 characters or perhaps a sentence or two more on FB.

Another reason for the dearth of posts was trying not to be too negative.  While it is good to get things out, I think there is a limit or a point where you get diminishing returns on it.  That said, I think my mental health has improved over the past few months.  I had a rough/uncertain period there with work and while I am still not 100% ... or even 80%... capital H, Happy about it.. it is slightly better, though right at this very minute, I am in a sort of a negative wave as others can't seem to have their acts together or at least don't tackle things with the responsibility and reliability that I do... or at least I think I do.  I have my issues, but when it gets down to it, after the grumbling/bitching I get down to it and get it done. 

Part of the improvement in the mental health department has also been the physical.  Again, I won't harp on it too much because I think when one starts talking about diet/eating it can get to sounding pretty preachy... but things continue to move in a positive way since we've made conscious efforts to eat healthier.  Over this past week, I past the 7 lb weight loss (from about mid-June, so 6-ish weeks)... and while my own goal is to lose 7 more, to get to ideal BMI I would have to drop about 7 more beyond that.  So we shall see, in  tracking my weight it is still showing a good downward trend... but at some point I think I will reach equilibrium and get to the weight I am supposed to be.  But the important part is that I am starting to feel better about my physical self.  While I was never had super-duper self-image about my looks/body, it is starting to feel good to at least be turning away from "negative" back to "indifferent"

I think I may have mentioned that we got a Wii about a month ago... if not, we did!  And while that has caused ailments and aches/pains to nearly every major joint in our bodies, it has been good that at least we are moving around a bit, in addition to the healthier eating.  We got Wii Fit and more importantly EA Active and those have been really good at getting us some basic exercise and somewhat motivating when it comes to tracking our weight.

And something that will always improve one's outlook... something positive to look forward... vacation!  We had been playing it conservative financially (well, kinda... one does not get a Wii and all the other things that are needed if one has money worries) when it has come to travel, which tends to be our biggest splurges of the year.  We did painfully turn down an offer for a Australia / New Zealand / Fiji trip presented to us at the beginning of the year and at a really great price (though at the time, I think it was a wise $$ decision and also in retrospect since it was a group tour and we've learned that we prefer to do things "on our own" if at all possible)... so while we did do the spring-time trip to Vegas, that didn't satisfy our always hungry getaway/vacation beast. 

One of my frustrations was hearing over and over (and over) again about all these great deals and how hotels and airlines are just slashing prices that this is the best time ever to travel if you have the cash.  Well, after months of on and off research, we had yet to find that "bargain"... and believe me, I would have jumped on pretty much anything if it looked like a deal. 

But alas, we finally buckled down on Friday... with time running down as Todd was in a "use it or lose it (donate it to the company)" 3rd Quarter vacation situation... and booked a one-week-ish (6 night) trip to...

Maui!

This is our first "repeat" vacation... but I am sure there are certainly worse places one can repeat other than Hawaii.  I am not sure if we got tired of looking, but ultimately I do think we ended up with a pretty good deal when you factor in the total package of air, hotel (ocean view!), and a car.  Best yet, we even got a direct flight to Maui from Phoenix, so don't have to fly thru Honolulu (or anywhere else, for that matter)... so that was extra nice!

I think it will be a nice and relaxing vacation.  Since we are sort of familiar with Maui, we know our way around and don't have to repeat some of the stuff that we did last time... like the all-day (but totally worth it!) Road to Hana.  Also, we won't be splitting our time between two islands... so I think that will take off the pressure that things need to be done on a tight schedule when you only some place for 2-3 full days.

It is also nice that it is just next month... so it's kinda going to come up quickly and it's not like waiting around for Memorial Day weekend when it's still February, which seems to be how we've kind of done it in the past. 

Hair!

I caught this blast from my college past on Facebook and I couldn't pass up sharing it!

Now this was a hairy double-whammy... the 1980s and New Jersey (where, even today, the hair still seems to be taller and bigger).

I have blocked out the faces to protect the guilt!  I didn't feel right about showing the original since it was one of those Facebook instances where one of my old college friends commented on a pic of one of their friends (who is not my friend), but that still allows me to see this picture... got that?  One of the "privacy" loopholes, for sure.  But I was friends with many of these gals pictured above... and will tell you this was not a special occasion or anything  (like Halloween)... just average/normal college day in 1987!

... though it probably does explain the whole global warming/climate change thing!

Free Range

This ad has been popping up (well, not popping but on the side) and I so want to find this t-shirt!

Though I think it is not real, just text superimposed over a picture (BTW, did they really have to crop his face out?  There seems to be some yum-o potential there, but anyhow...)

And also, if you've been following things here lately (thanks for sticking around by the way, know things have been quiet here) you know my interest has nothing to do with wi-fi or cellular roaming...  but, for us meat eaters, the more desirable free-range variety rather than those cooped up in pens or cages (on another side note, we now also laughing at "Grain Fed!" promotions like that's a good thing, but anyhow...)

I have looked around the Internets for a shirt like this... Cafe Press had some items that were pretty close, but nothing quite as simple as what's above.  There are plenty of places to create/design your own t-shirt, so maybe I'll end up doing that, but if anyone finds something close to this let me know!

Magnet Mania and the FiFi

Knock, knock.  Who's there?  It's me!  I am still around, but think this must be the longest stretch that I haven't updated the main part of this blog without having the excuse of being out of town.  But you know the drill, the "blah, blah, blah" of Facebook and Twitter stealing my online time and energy... but I also think I had a bit of Memorial Day weekend hangover as I think most of us who work a typical Monday-Friday work schedule can relate to, it often seems like 4-day "short" weeks feel longer.  Plus there's been the French Open with mega-hours of coverage and for the first time in a while, I've had to juggle a couple of work projects simultaneously, with a third one lurking out there threatening to enter the mix.

I got this email the other day and it was just to good not to share.  Somehow I got myself on a Celine Dion mailing list.  I think it has something to do with her "Club Celine" that I was familiar with but never joined (if I did I would be gay man enough to fess up to it) that offered better seating while Celine was at Caesars and other Celine-rific offers and exclusives. 

What I suspect happened was that Ticketmaster sold my e-mail address when I purchased tickets to the Celine show, but these emails are pretty funny... probably unintentionally so.  A lot of what I love about Celine is her cheesiness... or maybe her dorkiness, she is kind of a dork... and add the whole French accent on it, and really what is there not to love!   But this email pretty much took the proverbial cake!

Most of the email was proclaiming Magnet Mania(!!) with Celine striking a seductive pose...

Now I fear for the child/teen... female or gay male... who would decorate their school or gym locker with these "charming" Celine magnets (the possibilities are endless!)... nor do I suspect that many of us ever imagined that the phrases "magnet collection" and "stunning and timeless" to ever be used in the same sentence.  C'est magnifique!

Next, the email moved onto one of the many Celine fragrances.  Having been on this Celine email list for awhile now... and if you ever visited the Celine Store at Ceasars (now shared by Bette and Cher)... you know that Celine has many fragrances.

But what you may have not known was that Celine has a "modern and luminous scent"... well, err... I take it her eau de toilette Sensational does and not the French-Canadian diva.... though if someone can tell me what "luminous" smells like (or "modern," for that matter), please let me know.  Also, a revelation that there are awards for perfumes!   Now, I kinda sorta had heard that... but I could not have told you that it was named the FiFi... which I guess is better name than say the Pepe Le Pew!

Back

Just a quick note to let you know that I survived the trip to see the parents this past 5-6 days or so.  I definitely felt an ease of the guilt of having not had a true visit with them for just short of 2 years... but do really feel the need to not let that much time pass again.  I am also very thankful for the quick drop-off at the curb at the airport, because anything shorter of a rushed goodbye would have got a bit too emotional.... particularly with Mom, who puts up with an awful lot but doesn't get much in return (but that is another post for another time... or perhaps not).

But it was a very nice visit and it almost seemed to not be enough time or that it went by too fast... which is truly a change from the past where I would often run screaming... but that's a good thing. 

I didn't have any great epiphany while I was away... but I was hoping to turn over the proverbial new leaf upon my return regarding some work stuff.  I made a couple of gestures yesterday that were pretty much rebuffed, but again I am struggling with how much this is just a creation in my own mind/imagination or "actual reality" (though my guess it is somewhere in that fuzzy or gray middle).  But either way, I am going to make more of an concerted effort to deal with it... even if that means just dealing with it or accepting that this is the way it's going to be from now on.  I know I am being vague about all this, but again really don't feel like getting into the specifics on this very public forum as I don't think it is very fair to the other party/parties involved. 

So it's back to work... oh, Rocky got a great "report card" from the pet resort, it definitely sounded like he was the life of the party and never stopped playing... which is quite an effort since this place offers all-day play for the dogs (the huge reason we now use this place vs. ones that offer 1-2 hr play sessions, but otherwise keep the dogs caged/kennel'd).   But he was definitely one pooped out puppy last night and thus far today.   And Todd gets back later today from his Japan trip, though a bit later since the flight over got delayed 2.5 hrs which forced a rebook to a later SFO-PHX flight... but it will definitely be nice to have our whole house back together again tonight!

You Can (And Can't) Go Home Again

Just a surprise-ish heads-up that W&C will be taking a little bit of a break until late next week.

I just dropped Todd off at the airport this morning (a biz trip to Japan) and while that usually means that you would be getting a week (or sometimes two weeks!) of "woe is me" and "I'm so lonesome I could cry" posts... I came up with the brilliant idea that, why don't I get of town as well!   So I am leaving tomorrow and getting back the day before Todd returns, so I should be able to keep myself sane (well, kinda).  It is just going to be very weird tonight to be VERY alone... not only without Todd being here, but I also have to drop Rocky off at the kennel... errr, pet resort... this afternoon since my flight is excruciatingly early (though that's my preference - and I'm starting to think I am past the age that red-eyes are a good idea).  But no doubt, that I'll be pretty stir crazy later today!

So where am I going?  Well, I'd like to report some place exotic and exciting... or even, one or the other... but it's to NJ... to visit my parents.  I haven't had a real visit with them in nearly 2 years, so it is way, way overdue!   Granted we had a brief visit during a 3-hour layover on the way home from Europe last May, but that hardly counts... though, funny enough, after about an hour or so, they were "OK, I guess that's it"... but that's pretty much my parents!  My Dad, on his first trip to AZ, looked out at the Grand Canyon for a few moments... and was like... "ok, that's it"... he was really done, no interest in other vistas... no lingering... etc.  Ha!  I'm pretty much from a "been there, done that, let's move on, next!" kind of family!

I am hoping this trip home (bonus/brownie points for it being Mother's Day too!) helps me re-group a bit too.  Been in a rough patch of late and just need to sort things out and I think this may help.  I'm not sure how many of you get to go to the home you were raised in... or even if you have that, if you sleep in the same exact bed you slept in pretty much most of your teenage (heck, even pre-teen ... given my parent's frugality/"if it still works" mentality) years.  

But as an adult (not quite sure when that happened!), it has always been a surreal experience... more often than not, it helps me realize how far I've come... all the good things that have happened in my life that that boy who slept in that bed never dreamed of... and appreciate the life, right here, right now... a few days re-familiarizing yourself with your parents' quirks accomplishes that pretty quickly (thankfully we get along fine... but still!).   I am a need of a "Snap out it!!" experience and I'm thinking this trip will provide a lot of the visual/mental cues to help me do that.

The tricky part of this trip is keeping it secret from my Facebook 'friends'... as anyone of you who are on FB know, it kind of turns into "This Is Your Life!"... and quite a few folks from my NJ past have resurfaced over the past year or so... some of the re-connections have been fun, some have been "well, I can't so no" ... so I am keeping my NJ trip on the down-low.  I don't want to be put in the awkward position of not wanting to meet-up... though, in reality, I don't have much free time even if I wanted to (2 days are spent in-transit, we're booked on an overnight Atlantic City Trip, and then there's Mom's Day!).   Heck, I haven't even let my very, very best friend know I'll be back... so definitely no time or energy for a 20+ years recap, no matter how good those times were!  So mildly guilty about that, but my parents really deserve my time/attention on this trip. 

So if you are on FB with me... shhhhhh!   It's our little secret!   I may still pop in with a non-location specific status update... but will be more free-wheeling on Twitter (no NJ "blasts from my past" over there!)... though don't expect too much... not am I going back to my childhood home, but I am going back to the land of.... (gasp!)... landline Internet connections... though I am thankful my Mom was hip enough to get even that a few years back! 

Guess that's it... catch you late next week!