I'm Here

I think it was just this past Friday that Todd mentioned to me that he was a bit concerned about the lack of activity here at W&C...so figured it was time for a post not related to a book or American Idol...  and don't worry (or cheer) this is NOT a "I'm closing up shop" post.

A little while back I gave myself permission that if I didn't feel compelled to write something that I shouldn't.  I never wanted this blog  to become a chore, but I'll admit that I did start to feel pressure after maintaining a pretty much "every weekday" schedule for many, many years.  I've been doing this since September 2003... an incredible stretch for someone who will be the first to admit his tendency to not stick to things ... tell it to the gym membership, the baseball card collection, walking the dog, etc

This has been an incredible outlet for me.  Working alone (and 97% of the time having no human interaction - in-person or phone - the latter btw being totally okay with me), this is my watercooler and pretty my connection to the world Monday thru Friday, 12 hours a day.

So why the W&C hiatus? 

Well, I am in the midst of working some stuff out... most of it on the work-related doorstep... and while it wasn't a conscious one (and in retrospect), it appears that I made the decision not to primarily deal with it here.  I'm chalking it up to a minor mid-life crisis and fueled on by the economic downturn... exposing some raw nerves or having me pick at some long-formed scabs re: work/career.  It's been building for awhile, but much more easily ignored or not dealt with when the projects and $$$ were rolling in carefree manner... and while things could be a whole lot worse (thank goodness we have so little/no overhead) it's still leading me to re-evaluate and struggle figuring a way to deal with (or more accurately, accept) the new realities on the ground... and/or how things may be from now on (or for the foreseeable future).  Top it with a whole weight gain thing... which is/was something I never had to worry about... has only added a visible/ physical /tangible dimension to it all... and well, I haven't been the most pleasant person to be around of late!

And that is a bit troubling, because I view myself as fun and pleasant (and hold out hope that others view me the same, which I think they do) and I've just let other things hijack that... now it's not all shadows and darkness, there are still genuine and lots of fun and frothy thoughts and things going on (as my FB and Twitter stuff suggests - I hope!), but for now this long form I think would just allow me to wallow too much... and while part of the blog title is "whine"... wallow is a quite a different animal that lacks is not a particular productive activity for oneself nor much entertainment value to others (I know this my blog, but I wouldn't be honest to say that it has an audience - regular or random). 

Anyhow, I'm working things out... and do honestly believe I'm on my way up/out... I think this post is actually proof of that... but still a work in progress...

Comments

[Joanna]

Ed,

Don't ever feel you have to apologize to us W&C readers. That's why you have the blog - to get stuff off your chest and out there. At least that's why I do. I have missed you here but am happy to chat with you on FB and Twitter.

Now if this doesn't cheer you up I don't know what will. Be sure you go backwards and look at the photos - it's awesome. You can drool over the pups but they are so far away you can't possibly have one so it works - at least for me. http://www.bassethounds.nu/basset-hounds-in-advertising/

Joanna

[Gail]

I'm glad you're still here! Whine away, it's your blog, as long as we get some cheese to balance things out.

[kenneth]

While I'll admit I'm even more confused than before I read this post, here's wishing you well in, um, figuring out your next move! (I think.) :-)

[Scott K]

I've been wondering what's up. Your tweets give a little clue here and there but not the whole picture.

D & I would love to see you guys soon. He works Saturday nights now, so the only time we could do would be Sunday. Let us know if you'd be available on a Sunday lunch or dinner sometime.

I'm glad you've recognized where you're at and what you want to do. I know exactly what you're going through as we have a lot of similar situations in our lives. I'm here to provide any support or motivation I can to help you do that.

[Ed]

Thanks Everyone! Always feel a bit silly *after* I post something like this, but appreciate the kind words, support and encouragement!

[Beth]

Ed, You are fun and pleasant for sure in all the years I've know you - online and IRL! We're all here waiting for your next entry in W&C. But it is true, we do need a break every once in a while. Amazing you've been posting since 2003 and odd I know you pre-W&C and your 'previous' life of tennis photographer/correspondent!