I have a sneakin' suspicion this is turning into something I write about every year... but I am not going back to look to see if it's true... but yes, it is that special time of the year where I stress about the approaching holiday...
... well, maybe stress isn't exactly the right word... this year, I seem to be more indifferent or unexcited about it more than anything else. I am not sure if it is just some mental genetic code being passed between myself and my mother... as her annual quote seemingly every year (which I am sure I repeat here every single year), is that she wishes there was a pill that she could take where she could sleep through the entire holiday season and wake up when it's over. While I am not that bad right now... scary enough, I can see it trending towards that.
I am not sure when or why of it. I was a pretty big Christmas fan... and anyone who knew me even through my late 20s/early 30s (okay, maybe even mid-30s) would tell you my birthday was very much a self-directed EVENT. The best evidence of this being that my best friend's husband knows my birthday off the top of his head and can't do the same for his own two kids!
I think it just might be the perfect storm. Right now, I don't think we expect any visitors over the holidays... so that is providing no motivation to get the outdoor lights or the tree up (though that is on tap for this coming weekend). I have really no good gift ideas for anyone this year... and typically, even I can get excited about one thing that gets the ball rolling and spurs excitement about the rest... but nothing so far this year... and that fact that neither I or the folks I am shopping for are lacking / wanting / needing anything doesn't make it any easier either!
... basically once everything gets up, bought, shipped, etc... I'm fine... but these past few years, I find myself being/feeling very cranky until then... and unfortunately that all takes some time... and I think the mental instability is being exacerbated by my work situation and also the Toby-less situation and all the basset hound related stuff that I know is looming in the ornament box.
I am making some progress... bought this year's greeting cards and have the holiday stamps and stationery (for the holiday letter) purchased... and I have already whipped up this holiday present for a handful of folks... so I guess I should give myself credit for that!
Toby is gone but not forgotten. I have a lot of Milton stuff in my ornament box too. Celebrate him instead of mourning him.
Another good reason to get Rocky a puppy - to get you out of your pre Christmas funk - which I have also been known to suffer from. Puppy licks cure that you know.
Posted by: Joanna | Wednesday, December 03, 2008 at 03:02 PM