"Out" To Lunch

If you caught one of my latest tweets, you know that I headed out to lunch with another of my former co-workers yesterday.  This is the second such meet-up this year, both having been a year+ since the last lunch.  I am so glad I did and vow to make these lunches more frequent.  While the advantages of working from home are many, anyone who does it will tell you the lack of social interaction is the toughest part.

When I did work in an office I was never "out."  There is always that uncertainty of acceptance and while there was certainly speculation and the fact that it did become a bit of gossip and whispers only made me more defiant in not confirming (or denying, for matter) it.  I did ultimately confide in my very best (female) friend in the office and we are still friends to this day (and my first friend re-meet-up last month).

I also made good friends with another female co-worker towards the end of my tenure with the company and for a time we even carpooled together since we lived close to each other and good half-hour away from the office.  My exit was somewhat rocky, but I eventually re-connected with this person about a year later after she left the company and returned to a home-based consulting business.

She always struck me as quite progressive and politically "blue," so I as pretty darn certain it would be a non-issue...  when I moved out of my apartment she knew I had a male "roommate,"  but given we would meet up a couple of times a year, our discussions generally stuck to our work, travel plans, pets, etc. 

Given our upcoming travel plans I figured it was time... it just seemed silly that if one was awarded a trip to the Olympics that they would take their "roommate."   

When we got around to that subject, I said something about "we" and than said "my... well, I should just tell you" and before I could get it out she said "Your partner?"  Ha!  Always amusing when a person outs you just before getting around to it yourself!  And let's just say this isn't the first time it's happened to me. She went on to talk about her other gay couple acquaintances as well as one of her uncles who has had a male "roommate" for 40+ years.  So while I really had no worries going into it, it was still quite nice to finally be open about it. 

I think we're headed to the point where one day being gay will be greeted with a shoulder shrug (of course, there are exceptions and always will be)... but perhaps sooner rather than later, since that's pretty much the reaction I got yesterday.

Comments

[Jeff]

Cool. At my old office (still my current employer), I had a tiny rainbow flag at my cubicle. I'm not usually the rainbow flag-waving type, but it was my subtle way of saying I'm here, I'm queer. In any case, it's been a non-issue with my immediate co-workers, which has been nice. At first I used to pause before I'd say "... my partner," but now it's second nature.

And now being in SF, well, you can't swing a feather boa without hitting a gay guy... ;-)