One Week Later

Well, it's been one week since Toby left us.  It's that weird time continuum... sometimes feels like just yesterday, but mostly feels like it all happened eons ago.  Today I want to share with you my journey. 

As mentioned, my Facebook status bar tracked it all.  I joked over the weekend (perhaps more on that tomorrow) -- and humor is the best defense mechanism/medicine -- that while these status updates (which have since morphed into "tweets") are usually quite light-hearted and fun -- mine turned into "Debbie Downer" (insert "waaaah, waaaah" sound effect) over these past 6 weeks or so.  But I found it to be extremely therapeutic... given the word/character restriction, I had to get it down to the core thought or emotion. 

The journey is not quite over yet.  For the first time ever, I've decided to get ashes.  I have a few theories of why I did it this time around, but for now, I'll just leave it at that Toby has been a very odd/unique experience... anyhow, they should be coming in sometime this week.

So here it is, from thinking it was nothing to it turning into something to turning into something bad ... and everything in between.  (UPDATE:  Again, a reminder that the Facebook status line is written in the 3rd person, so that's just the style, an albeit odd one.)

Feb 25
1:12pm: Ed is getting ready to go to the vet with a coughing basset hound.
3:00pm: Ed just spent $117.30 on vet visit, antibiotics & doggie cough medicine (Poor Toby! Poor Us!).

Mar 6
1:19pm: Ed is frustrated waiting to get a call back from the vet -- Toby's cough is pretty much gone, but he seems really out of it.
3:06pm: Ed finally got his 9am call to the vet returned at 4pm - appt on Friday at 11a, unless Toby magically recovers by then.

Mar 10
6:55am: Ed is still dealing with a sick dog... cough is gone, but bloated/irritated stomach now!
9:49am: Ed is going to the vet (again) later this afternoon :-(.
5:00pm: Ed likes the sound of universal health care... for dogs! Here's hopin' today's $264.70 works out better than Friday's $322.78!

Mar 11
2:22pm: Ed is tired of waiting for/but trying to remain optimistic about Toby's blood test results.

Mar 12
8:13am: Ed is going to the vet again this afternoon... wasn't a good night for Toby.
3:06pm: Ed is going back to pick up Toby in an hour... not liking the latest round of possible diagnoses.
4:45pm: Ed is sad to say that Toby doesn't have much time left.

Mar 13
5:21pm: Ed is trying to accept the things he can't change.

Mar 14
3:27pm: Ed is not so sure anymore.

Mar 21
8:48am: Ed doesn't know what to expect with Toby's second opinion vet appt this afternoon.
3:14pm: Ed is sad to say no new/good news re: Toby.

Mar 23
6:24pm: Ed has no idea about what is the right thing to do.

Mar 27
8:58am: Ed senses he is approaching being placed between the rock and hard place.

Mar 28
6:44am: Ed is playing it by ear (again), though not hearing very well.

Mar 29
9:18am: Ed is taking Toby in for a "feel better" shot... still some positive signs, so not ready to do "it" just yet.

Mar 31
7:05am: Ed has already had a rough morning, just back from dropping Todd off at the airport.
8:49am: Ed just made the call to the vet.
4:34pm: Ed is very sad, but also feels an incredible weight has been lifted.

Apr 1
9:21am: Ed is kinda sort doing pretty okay.

Apr 2
8:32am: Ed is reading 'The Diary of Anne Frank'... now *that* should cheer me up... just don't tell me how it ends.

Apr 4
3:54pm: Ed just got the sympathy card from the vet and it made me a little sad... talk amongst yourselves.

Apr 6
2:47pm: What should be the name of the first dog Rocky befriended this afternoon at the dog park? Toby, of course! I can't make this stuff up!

This last item from yesterday was pretty amazing...

While I was a bit emotionally tentative going to the dog park, I felt like I owed it to Rocky who has been so patient (wanting to play so badly -- as usual!) while Toby was sick and since he's been gone.  Typically, we go Sunday mornings... but I didn't get their until Sunday afternoon and there were only maybe 5 dogs at the park (in the morning, there are typically dozens of dogs!).

So we enter the park and there is only one dog near the entrance... so Rocky goes right up to the dog and starts playing... as usual, the "target" dog is a bit thrown by Rocky's energy but is not totally freaked out.  The owners are really enjoying Rocky and when he goes to greet them they ask me what breed he is, etc., etc. and his name...  and then they turn to their dog and say "Toby go ahead and play with Rocky".... you could have knocked me over with the proverbial feather... ah, that whole "universe" thing (again).

Comments

[Beth]

Staying with the "universe", at the dog park Mindy and Toby are looking down and with their doggie ESP from the great beyond they said 'Rocky, this one is the guy you're to be buddies with. He's a Toby like me.'

[Scot]

I think Ed really really needs Todd to come home soon, so Ed can stop referring to himself in the third person. I think Ed is loosing his mind.
I also thonk Ed should try making those chicken roll-ups he taught Scot how to make, but try using blue cheese and serving it with a tangering mayonaise. Damn good, DAMN GOOD!

[jen maiser]

tangering mayonaise? you guys do things strangely in az ...

:)