Sad

I come to you today with a heavy heart as our Toby does not have much time left. 

Ok, just typing out that line just about kicked my ass...

Yesterday, I went back to the vet for the 3rd time in less than a week and 4th time overall since Toby had not been feeling well.  With each visit my optimism was slowly chipped away, but being told what is very likely the final prognosis was still quite shocking... especially for a dog just approaching his 6th birthday.

It all started a couple of weeks ago when Toby developed a cough... at the time, I was kicking myself for a lapse in getting his bordatella vaccine and thinking he had probably caught something at the dog park.  While the cough slowly did go away, oddly enough, he began acting sicker and sicker.  Last Friday, x-rays showed he had a very inflamed stomach so we started to treat it.  With no improvement over the weekend, I went back for blood work on Monday and we thought he might have an intestinal parasite, so we started treating that.  Tuesday was a rough night with his neck/chest area swelling up and he was very out of it.  I returned to the vet yesterday and despite his blood work being nearly perfect, new x-rays showed that his lungs are in bad shape (worse than they were even on Friday's x-rays)... these symptoms plus the non-response to all the other drugs plus the speed at which all this is happening points to lymphoma... and, at best, he likely only has a few weeks left.

With no good or long-term treatment options, I took the vet's suggestion to give him a shot of cortisone to help reduce the swelling and pain... alas just a band-aid, but hopefully something to ease things, well at least physically. 

As you can imagine we are heartbroken, while we know our pets will not live forever (something we were reminded of quite recently with our friends Scott and Buckaroo)... and while the signs certainly were not good over the past few days, we still thought we had plenty of time to go with Toby.   

While it's going to be rough times here for the time being, I will welcome the distraction of this blog and its normal light and fluffy subject matter... and while my mind and heart will certainly be elsewhere, I will do my best and march on.  Later this morning, I am heading up for what has become my annual oil change and I am meeting up with an old friend/ex-co-worker for lunch... haven't seen her in 3 years, so looking forward to it... though she might be getting more than she bargained for!

I thank you in advance for your sympathies... I know this is one of those quite awkward blog moments... one feels the need to write/offer something... but when faced with that blank comment box, the only thought is that there is nothing that can possibly be said... I totally understand... it's me that needs to get out the swirling thoughts and the flood of emotion... while not an easy post to write, it is my therapy and the beginning of the grieving process... though I seemingly flew through all five stages within a matter of hours yesterday (admittedly quite light on "acceptance")... so, that's it... and just thanks for reading.

Comments

[Jeff]

Sorry to hear that, Ed. We'll be thinking of you all.

[Buckaroo]

Guys, I am so sorry - I'm welling up just typing this. My thoughts are with you at this very difficult time. If there is anything we can help you with, please don't hesitate to ask/call. Just spend as much time with him as you can. He knows you love him.

[Scott-O-Rama]

This was quite a shock to read and not at all what I was expecting. At worst I thought Toby might have developed some condition that might need ongoing treatment, but I never, ever dreamed it would be something like this. Toby is a young dog and deserves a much longer life.

Our hearts and sympathies go out to you. I know this will be an extremely difficult time for you over the coming days and weeks. If there is anything -ANYTHING- we can do for you, don't hesitate to let us know. If you just need a temporary diversion and night out, we'd be happy to provide it for you.

First Todd's great news, then this. Life sure is a roller coaster, isn't it?

[jen maiser]

Well, sh*t. I am so sorry. You guys must have very heavy hearts today.

[RcktMan]

Such sad news-- Anytime I see something like this about someone's pet I instantly grab my two kitties and hug 'em as much as I can. At least you get some time to say goodbye to him -- though that is almost harder than losing him instantly. I can't even imagine what it must be like for you right now.

My thoughts are with you.

[monette]

i'm so sorry to hear that. My thoughts are with you guys and the pooches.

[David]

I don't know you and this is my first time here (via Scott-O-Rama) but I am thinking of you and your family. I wish you the best in this difficult time.

[JdEB]

My heart goes out to you in you time of suffering. As a fellow basset hound partner (we never really "own" bassets) I am very well aware of the problems that these gentle goofballs endure just to stay on the planet. Our pets are like our children and we want to keep them happy and healthy for a long time and it saddens me deeply to see one in pain.

[kenneth]

So sorry to hear about your baby. It hurts :-(

[Linda]

I'm truly sorry to hear about Toby. Toby is in good hands with you as it's very obvious how much you both care about him.

[Joanna]

Oh Ed, I am so sorry. I am tearing up writing this. I feel so sad - having lost my sweet Milton (another basset) not quite 2 years ago. I'll send a prayer with Toby's name on it up to Milton so he can be waiting at heaven's gate for Toby to arrive.

Chin up.

Joanna

[Scott C]

Just catching up... So sorry to here about Toby.. Y'all will be in my thougths and prayers.