Rest In Peace

I am just back from the vet, and while I fully realize that I have not disembarked from the emotional rollercoaster...  things are strangely peaceful right at this moment.

Having been through this numerous times before - mind boggling enough, Toby is the 4th pet we've lost in the 6 years we have lived together -- I have had some pretty intense emotional reactions at the vet's office and certainly in the immediate aftermath (not that there's anything wrong with that).  While tears were shed, things were very much in control this afternoon... given the lead up to this, I was suspecting having a really bad time of it ... but perhaps because of it, my feelings/emotions are what they are right now... granted, this is not to say what had occurred in the days and hours before ... or what lies ahead in the coming hours and days... but right now, calm... or maybe it's just numb.

One of the things I told (or at lease tried to tell) Todd this afternoon was that I was at peace with the today's decision... and I think that is what has made all the difference... while Toby certainly left us well before the time he deserved...

I thank whatever it is -- if it's not too cheesy, let's say "the universe" -- for knowing letting us know when it was the time to keep hoping and trying, and today... the time to let go.

I am thankful for everyone at the vet's office ... and particularly my vet, who stayed with me a good 15-20 minutes after it was all said and done and talked with me about Toby and her own pets and experiences when making this difficult decision.  I can only imagine how far it put her behind schedule ... the lobby was sheer lunacy when I walked in (and again, the staff quickly ushered me away from it all and took care of all the necessary paperwork beforehand)... but now you can understand why I waited those extra hours to see her today.

And, of course, I am thankful the time we did have with Toby... he was certainly a character... even as a puppy (and, at my semi-advanced age, my very first "from scratch" puppy)... so independent, aloof, ornery... but friendly and lovable when he wanted to be... and always a big hit wherever he went...

So that's it... for now... again, I just felt compelled to write something... "talk"... mark this chapter...

R.I.P. Toby ... we'll miss you.

Comments

[Scot]

Sometimes it incredibly hard to pull the "self" out of selfless decisions. Its hard to let a friend or loved one go to a better place, even harder to help that companion get there, but it needs to be done when that loved one is suffering. Hold tight to Rocky and the cats and cherish the memories.

[Scott-O-Rama]

Oh Ed...

I am SO sorry. I know how must you feel right now... like you lost a family member. My heart is breaking for you.

You were a great parent and owner to Toby. He was lucky to have you and Todd both.

[photogreg]

So sorry for your loss. What a beautiful dog.

[JD]

Ed, I'm so sorry. Losing a young pet to illness is really rough, especially because of the "what ifs" that linger when it comes to the decisions (we lost the beloved family golden retriever at only 8, which I don't think my parents have ever quite recovered from). Am thinking of you and Todd and Rocky.

[Jeff]

Wishing you all peace and strength...

[Joanna]

Ed, I am so, so sorry to hear of Toby's passing. He was such a handsome boy. You and Todd are in my prayers.

You have probably seen this before but it helped me with the loss of my Milton so I wanted to share it with you

The Rainbow Bridge
inspired by a Norse legend
By the edge of a woods, at the foot of a hill,
Is a lush, green meadow where time stands still.
Where the friends of man and woman do run,
When their time on earth is over and done.

For here, between this world and the next,
Is a place where each beloved creature finds rest.
On this golden land, they wait and they play,
Till the Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day.

No more do they suffer, in pain or in sadness,
For here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness.
Their limbs are restored, their health renewed,
Their bodies have healed, with strength imbued.

They romp through the grass, without even a care,
Until one day they start, and sniff at the air.
All ears prick forward, eyes dart front and back,
Then all of a sudden, one breaks from the pack.

For just at that instant, their eyes have met;
Together again, both person and pet.
So they run to each other, these friends from long past,
The time of their parting is over at last.

The sadness they felt while they were apart,
Has turned into joy once more in each heart.
They embrace with a love that will last forever,
And then, side-by-side, they cross over… together.

© 1998 Steve and Diane Bodofsky. All Rights Reserved.

[Buckaroo]

Just wanted to check in and let you know I'm thinking about you both. I know how hard it can be.

[Paul]

My thoughts and prayers are with you. You remind me how short life is. I just gave Nigel, my grumpy old basset hound, a big hug. It woke him up, but that's okay, he went right back to sleep.