Whine & Cheese

Rest In Peace

I am just back from the vet, and while I fully realize that I have not disembarked from the emotional rollercoaster...  things are strangely peaceful right at this moment.

Having been through this numerous times before - mind boggling enough, Toby is the 4th pet we've lost in the 6 years we have lived together -- I have had some pretty intense emotional reactions at the vet's office and certainly in the immediate aftermath (not that there's anything wrong with that).  While tears were shed, things were very much in control this afternoon... given the lead up to this, I was suspecting having a really bad time of it ... but perhaps because of it, my feelings/emotions are what they are right now... granted, this is not to say what had occurred in the days and hours before ... or what lies ahead in the coming hours and days... but right now, calm... or maybe it's just numb.

One of the things I told (or at lease tried to tell) Todd this afternoon was that I was at peace with the today's decision... and I think that is what has made all the difference... while Toby certainly left us well before the time he deserved...

I thank whatever it is -- if it's not too cheesy, let's say "the universe" -- for knowing letting us know when it was the time to keep hoping and trying, and today... the time to let go.

I am thankful for everyone at the vet's office ... and particularly my vet, who stayed with me a good 15-20 minutes after it was all said and done and talked with me about Toby and her own pets and experiences when making this difficult decision.  I can only imagine how far it put her behind schedule ... the lobby was sheer lunacy when I walked in (and again, the staff quickly ushered me away from it all and took care of all the necessary paperwork beforehand)... but now you can understand why I waited those extra hours to see her today.

And, of course, I am thankful the time we did have with Toby... he was certainly a character... even as a puppy (and, at my semi-advanced age, my very first "from scratch" puppy)... so independent, aloof, ornery... but friendly and lovable when he wanted to be... and always a big hit wherever he went...

So that's it... for now... again, I just felt compelled to write something... "talk"... mark this chapter...

R.I.P. Toby ... we'll miss you.

The Call

I have just made the call the vet. 

For fear of chickening out, I am not going to post this until I am out of here.

It was going to be a rough morning regardless... Todd left on his business trip this morning and, while we would have like to have thought otherwise, neither of us truly believed that Toby would make it until he got back next Friday. 

We took Toby in on Saturday to get another "boost" shot... the effects of the first one had started to wear off and we hoped another one would give him as good of a bounce as the first one did... and we were still seeing positive behavioral signs, so we just couldn't think of putting him ahead of Todd's trip.

But this shot one never kicked in... he had a not-so great day on Sunday... and not a good overnight at all... he wanted out several times during the night and, what was only clear to me this morning, was that he could not find a comfortable lying down position... and it was not until I got back to the airport, that I have noticed him swaying/bobbing when sitting up (or trying to).  While he has not been happy/feeling good for a while now... my litmus test in making the decision was that he not be in pain/distress and, for the first time this morning, I can no longer think that is not the case...

So I am going in this afternoon... now, the gut-wrenching wait (as I write this, nearly 6 hours away)... I'm guessing I could have got in earlier, but I wanted his usual vet (thankfully she was in the office today) and that was important to me... and also not rushing right into it was a probably a good thing... it has allowed things to start sinking in and get out some of those tears.

I/We certainly was not thinking that today was the day.  My fears were over the timing... doing it too soon (last week) or not doing it soon enough (say next week)... on the way to the airport, I said to Todd one of my worries was not having that "sign" and reassurance (I'll be the first one to admit that I am supremely indecisive)... but I think we both knew it was a not a good night and that the end was near... though it does pain me that he doesn't know about this right this very minute... and while I think we both felt more bad for the other, there is an odd consolation that Todd was here for the last night.  (Update: I was conflicted about it... but I did catch Todd between flights, so was able to tell him what was going on and he gave me that much needed reassurance that sadly he felt things were on the quick downturn).

So... I guess that's it, I am sure there will be more... and thanks for bearing with me through this tough time... this is my therapy....

Our Broadway 2008-09

Even though we just passed the midpoint of our 2007-08 Broadway Across America season, we got an envelope in the mail happily proclaiming "Renewal Enclosed!" ... while I am always curious to see what shows are coming to town next season, given how much $$ they're asking for (which granted still pales to NYC Broadway ticket prices) they could do without the exclamation point!!

So here's the line-up for next season:

A couple of repeats for me... A Chorus Line (actually saw that on Broadway back in my college days) and The Lion King, which was the big show here a few years back and gets another month-long run.

I am not sure The Rat Pack (which sounds more like a Vegas review) or Happy Days (yes, it's the Cunnighams and Fonzie and the rest of the gang) ever had Broadway runs... and I do have memories of the film version of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang from my youth and do seem to recall a fairly recent but relatively short Broadway run (a quick wiki shows just under 300 performances on the Great White Way in 2005).   So these have me a bit underwhelmed, though I hold out the most hope for the Rat Pack... which, ironically enough, may stave off the usual Vegas trip for my birthday.

So I am most excited for Frost/Nixon -- more so since I know Todd will enjoy it.  We considered seeing it when we were NY last year, so was glad to see it on the tour list... lately they've been throwing us one play a season and that is certainly a nice change-up from all these musicals... and Stacy Keach doesn't seem as much as a C-lister as we usually get.   But it should come as no surprise, that I am most excited about Spring Awakening... from what I hear folks seem to love it or hate it, but I sense I'll be the former... and apparently it is risque enough that they're offering subscribers to opt out of this show due to "mature themes, sexual situations, strong language"... so that makes me think I'll like it even more, I like the edgy stuff!

If all this isn't enough... there are 4 bonus shows... Stomp! (the swap-out show for Spring Awakening), Cats (ugh!), and Wicked -- which, like Lion King, makes a return to the Valley with a nearly one-month engagement (most shows are here for a week, or two weeks tops).   The one bonus show I will definitely be interested in is Rent... yes, I've seen it up-teen times (hey, only 3 times!)... but we're one of the stops that will feature the original Broadway (and film) Mark and Roger, Anthony Rapp and Adam Pascal... so that seems certainly reason enough to see it again!

Pride and Prejudice (#6)

Back to unfinished book business... for convenience sake, last week I did a combo entry about both reading The Color Purple and seeing the musical (again)... and I promised to get back to Book #6 of 2008... and today is your lucky day!

Every so often, I try to read a classic.  Sometimes I am more than pleasantly surprised (Tolstoy's Anna Karenina?!?), other times I am not. Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice was the latter.

Now, it wasn't that it was a bad book... having certainly stood the test of time, I could certainly grasp the merit of the book... but ultimately, for me, I think it was just a case of the wrong book at the wrong time.  I had been flying along in my reading challenge (over 1,400 pages in January!) and here was a book that forced you to slow down... slow way down. 

I just opened the book to a random page and here's an example of one sentence:

To Elizabeth it appeared that, had her family made an agreement to expose themselves as much as they could during the evening, it would have been impossible for them to play their parts with more spirit or finer success; and happy did she think it for Bingley and her sister that some of the exhibition had escaped his notice, and that his feelings were not of a sort to be much distressed by folly which he must have witnessed.

After typing that out, I wouldn't say this was a typical sentence... it certainly doesn't roll easily off the tongue, so to speak... but it is an good example of the rhythm of the book, and I assume, Austen in general.  Good stuff, but not easy reading... again, perhaps just for me. 

The main reason I read this is that I had never read anything by Jane Austen... and it seemed like I should have by now.  And who hasn't know of this book?!  I'm guessing people even have heard of the lead characters, the pluckyElizabeth "Lizzie" Bennet and the object of her hate/love, Mr.Darcy.  Also, a motivation was a chance to "read the book, see the movie"... PBS has recently been airing The Complete Jane Austen on Masterpiece (it's just Masterpiece now, they've dropped the "Theater" tag)... part of this series was what many believe is the definitive film version of Pride, a 6-hour mini-series starring a young-ish Colin Firth that was produced by the BBC (I believe) and originally aired here in the States on A&E.

Since I was having such a hard time, I decided to start watching the mini-series (just up to the parts I had not read, of course!)... just to make sure I was "getting" it.  Sure enough, I wasn't missing any plot points, just struggling with the language.  It's all very prim and proper and English (and okay, stuffy)... pretty much the stereotype of what you would think would be on PBS/Masterpiece Theater.

Ultimately, I respected the book but didn't enjoy it... which kind of sounds like the expectation one would have going in and reading a "classic." 

I would certainly recommend the mini-series... and I am also curious to see the most recent big-screen version with Keira Knightley as Lizzie (though Jennifer Ehle in the mini-series was superb!)... so if I am still interested in seeing another version of Austen's work, I guess the book could not have been that bad.

Needless to say, Pride landed a big 'ole left hook to my reading challenge... the fairly slim 281-page book took me a whopping 18 days to get through (including 4 days "off")... and while granted it was a short month even with the leap day... my February tally of total pages read was 600 pages less than what I had read in January (which granted was an insane amount of reading).

Since then, my page surplus/lead has evaporated and I am pretty much right on pace to reach my goal... but I have yet to read a book this year that has really knocked my socks off.

2008 1-2-3-4-5 Reading Challenge: + 281 Pages (Total: 2,273 pages - Finished: 2/28/2008)
176 pages ahead of pace (-294 change in pace since last book).

AI7: Tonight's Theme? I'm Old!

Ah, what is increasingly becoming one of my least favorite theme nights on American Idol... sing a song from the year you were born!

The problem here is that, for the most part, the Idol contestants stay the same age... but I just keep getting older.   This year even the oldest contestant sang a song from my high school years... and David Archuleta's birth year pretty much made me consider signing up for AARP... pronto!  Not only had I graduated college, but had already moved to Arizona... yikes!

Now that we are down to the Top 10, figured I should pare down my top grouping by one:

David C ("Billie Jean")
Michael ("We Will Rock You/We Are The Champions")
Kristy ("God Bless the USA")

My default top spot seems to be going to David Cook quite a bit this season... learning the Chris Daughtry/Live Walk the Line tizzy, David fessed up that this particular sinister/rocker version was previously done by Chris Cornell (of Soundgarden)... but like Chris' borrowed take on the Johnny Cash classic, I am guessing this was the first time most of us heard the Michael Jackson song sung in this fashion... and while he does lose some originality points, it was still pretty darn good.

I am not sure Michael was all that great last night (it got a bit shouty), but he certainly chose a crowd pleaser (well technically two of 'em) and it gave the Aussie his long-awaited "moment."  I have started liking him of late, but if the post-performance high-pitched female screams are any indication, Johns is sticking around for a bit.

And who is that last person pictured above... by gosh, it's Kristy Lee Cook!   In a "dare to vote me off" move, Kristy went for the contemporary patriotic country anthem... as Simon said, perhaps the smartest song choice of any season... I whole-heartedly agree... not voting for Kristy would kinda be tantamount to not "supporting the troops" (I was waiting for a shout-out to them, but wisely it did not come).  That said, I did think it was her best vocal of the season (which I realize isn't saying  much, but it really was quite good... or maybe I am just trying some reverse psychology this week!).

Middle Group
Syesha ("If I Were Your Woman")
David A ("You're The Voice")
Carly ("Total Eclipse of the Heart")
Brooke ("Every Breath You Take")

I thought this was Syesha's best vocal in a long time (you may remember I was no fan of her over-angsty "Yesterday" last week)... but something about her personality-wise still rubs me the wrong way... think it is just crossing that confident vs. cocky line (granted so does David C)... granted she tries to keep in under wraps, but it still slips out (or else I am just looking for it). 

David A had a pretty decent vocal, but I am dropping him down merely because I did not like the song choice... part of hit was not being familiar with it... it kind of smacked of Christian pop, which I don't think it is... but tiring a bit of the positive message stuff from him.

While Ramiele pulled the "I'm sick" card this week, I thought it was Carly's voice which seemed the roughest last night... and she definitely seems to have the kind of voice that is going to "go" the longer she stays on the show.  I agree with Randy and Simon that something didn't connect here... which is surprising since it seemed like a perfect fit.  As Simon suggested (and I have mentioned), I think she is singing scared way too much. 

Finally, there's Brooke and I am not knocking her for her bad start ... though it did throw me off.  While I would love to play the piano and particularly "by ear" as Brooke professes, I am not sure she is the greatest musician... and I think she has trouble doing two things at once... while that has been the case before with her and musical instruments (and walking/twirling) it seemed more in evidence tonight.

Bottom Group
Chikezie ("If Only For One Night")
Jason ("Fragile")
Ramiele ("Alone")

While I thought it was a pretty good vocal, I am pretty sure it was not a smart move by Chikezie to go back to the ballad well.  His energy is what makes him memorable and this failed to make an impression. 

I am officially off the Jason bandwagon ... well, singing-wise... I am still diggin' the whole... dude!/stoned act, for now.  I would enjoy listening to Jason in a coffee shop (or, more appropriately in an Amsterdam coffee [wink, wink] "house")... but he's not seeming fit for a big-time singing competition. 

And Ramiele is just daring us to keep her going... how she's managed to stay out of the bottom 3 thus far, I really don't know... and by singing a song done much better by previous Idol contestants... let alone recently covered by all-mighty Celine Dion... well, brave girl. 

Chubby Buddy #1 Destroyed

Well...  the good news is that it took a whole week (and a day!)...

Chubby Buddy "Mr. Fish" Before & After

It was pretty funny, I was getting another cup of coffee and noticed something destroyed in the dining room area... then I noticed a destroyed tennis ball (remnants pictured above).   Hmmm, very strange... as to the best of my knowledge I had never given Rocky a tennis ball to play with... but it's not like there's never been a tennis ball in the house... so I just figured he found it somewhere...

On the next walk-through, I noticed all the stuffing and finally caught glimpse of the deflated fish... and then it hit me (duh!) that the core of the Chubby Buddy had been a tennis ball!

I should enroll Rocky into a vulnerability doggie toy test program... as you may recall, I picked this particular toy since it was advertised for "moderate and strong chewers"... but then again, it did last a week... while lesser toys have been gone in mere hours (or less!)... so I guess this is progress. 

I still have Chubby Mr. Hedgehog for Rocky... so we'll see... my next idea is just to throw around $5 bills around the house and let Rocky go to town on those!

China Syndrome

Since we found out that we were going to the Beijing Olympics we've been paying more attention to the news... not that we need to pay attention... there seems to be something about China on the national news pretty much every night... and I am sure my news savvy readers know the news ain't good.

Even before the violence in Tibet, China has been always under fire for human rights violations and more recent years heavily criticized over their supportive relationship with the Sudanese government. 

Here are just a smattering of recent headlines (and believe me, I didn't have to look that hard)...

Headed for Olympics? Beware of Big Brother
Terrorism at Beijing Olympics?
Athletes Wary of Pollution During Beijing Olympic Games
Olympics flame-lighting event disrupted in Greece
France may boycott opening of Olympics
China rethinks Tiananmen Olympics broadcasts
Rising crime in China puts foreigners at risk

That first item was particularly interesting... with the U.S. State Department "fact sheet" noting:

"All visitors should be aware that they have no reasonable expectation of privacy in public or private locations.  All hotel rooms and offices are considered to be subject to on-site or remote technical monitoring at all times. Hotel rooms, residences and offices may be accessed at any time without the occupant's consent or knowledge."

Todd has been reading Madeleine Albright's latest book Memo To The President Elect and she pretty much confirmed it...

"While in Beijing recently, I was watching cable news in my hotel when the broadcaster announced the start of a congressional hearing on China and the Internet;  immediately, the screen went blank.  A friend accidentally opened an unmarked door in a different Chinese hotel only to behold a row of startled young men seated in front of monitors, spying (via concealed cameras) on guests in their rooms.  Big Brother requires a large labor force, and, in China, he has one."

Should be an interesting experience all around!

Just Don't Know

Unless you are one of the "lucky" few who are following my recent angst-ridden Facebook status/update one-liners, there is not much good news to report on the Toby front.  I don't want to turn this blog into dog deathwatch but this is the hand that life has dealt us at the moment... so, in order for my head not to explode, it's going to rise to the surface here every so often...

Anyhow, on Friday we went back to the vet... Toby had been doing pretty well on his cortisone shot (well compared to before it)... but having seen another doctor at our vet office for this whole ordeal, I wanted to bring Toby in to see the doc who he had gone to 80%+ of his life... also Todd came along to, so I wouldn't have to try to remember all the stuff that was said or shown to me.

So while we were holding out for some hope that this had all been a terrible mistake and/or misdiagnosis... the doc told us very early and directly that we were going to lose him ... to put it simply, Toby has a cancerous tumor/mass (likely lymphoma) in his chest that is pushing up against his heart and lungs... and, at this point, there are not any good and/or long-term options... not to dissimilar from the other week, we were given an "optimistic" two-month time frame.

It's been a emotionally draining struggle... Toby's breathing has started to become labored... some times better than others, with relative silence from him suddenly becoming just as scary as the wheeziness.. but he is eating and has the occasional "happy tail" (something that wasn't the case when things were really bad)... so it's mixed signals... and while we are not opposed to making "the decision," it's hard to consider it when there are still some positive signs... though I suspect, as the decline continues, "the bar" of what qualifies as a "positive sign" will lower as well... just human nature.

And it's impossible to get advice on (understandably so!)... I have people in my life who already would have not gone through the financial and emotional expense that we have thus far... while others would not entertain "the decision" and would spend whatever it takes even if it meant just one day more...

We really don't know what to do... if he starts to decline, we can give him another shot for comfort... but even that has us questioning... is that right thing to do, just to keep him going... and each of those shots are going to be less and less effective.... and next week, Todd has an upcoming 12-day international business trip... so just a giant heap of "just dont knows"...

Express Lane: Issue 47

Dutch To Legalise Gay Sex in Public Park - Who needs the hetero-centric Red Light District when you have the rose garden at Amsterdam's Vondelpark!  But there are some "rules":  evening hours only, pick up your condoms, and not around the playground areas please. (3/19/08)

'Scrubs' Star Meets 'How I Met Your Mother' - Perhaps Sarah Chalke will distract me from the potential 'jump the shark' stunt-casting of Britney Spears in the same March 24th episode of one of my sitcom faves. (3/12/08)

'No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency' Gets HBO Green Light - As a big fan of the Alexander McCall Smith books, very happy to see HBO picking up its move to the small screen with Jill Scott heading the cast as Mma Ramotswe. (3/10/08)

DWTS6 Final 3 Predictions

No worries...  I didn't forget about my tradition of predicting the Dancing With The Stars Final 3 based on just one performance.   Thankfully, I got a bit of a reprieve with no first week eliminations.  Heck, I didn't even watch the ladies until Wednesday night as Tuesday was reality show overload... a 2-hour Idol, 1.5 hr DWTS (and Big Brother totally got the TiVo boot).

So while the "stars" get one more shot on the dance floor prior to the first double-elimination show on Tuesday, I still thought I would make my prediction just based solely on the first round.

This season definitely seems stacked in favor of the women (season 1's Kelly Monaco remains the only female champ)... while bad dancers sometimes stick around for awhile I think Penn or Adam will be one of the first guys to get the boot, with Steve not too far behind... while Cristian was certainly lovely to look at... he didn't have the moves or charisma and a lack of a fan-base will likely hurt him as well.

The women are rife with reasons to stay around... though sadly for me, I have no doubt the first casualty on the women's side will be Monica.  Besides the very so-so dancing start... the shy personality and not being a household name will do her in.  Other women that I see going sooner rather than later are Shannon and Priscilla.  Shannon lacks of a fan-base and the personality or back-story of the other female competitors.  Priscilla by far has received the most press this season... I truly think she is a "private person," but based on the first show she is coming across as a bit aloof or a wet-fish... or else the apparent botox overdose (allegedly!) makes her incapable of facial expressions.

That leaves my close, but no cigar folks... on the men's side that would be Mario... while, by far, the most naturally talented dancer on the entire show... I don't think the DWTS demographics know him well enough and he doesn't strike me as someone that will build a base on his personality... talent-wise he'll be the Sabrina of this season. 

On the women's side, I am boldly going to say that Marlee isn't going to make it to the finals.  Like pretty much everyone, I was amazed what she was able to do on the dance floor... but after several weeks, it won't be a surprise anymore and while she has an engaging personality, I just think one week she'll slip through the cracks... but it will be a decent run...

So we come to my final 3...

Kristi was the prohibitive favorite going in and while I certainly expected her to do well in the "classy" ballroom genre, it'll be interesting to see what she does with the Latin dances.  While she could be in danger for being consistently great (which I think she will be)... that "America's Sweetheart" quality should keep her in until the end.

Pro athletes seem to do particularly well ... so it didn't take much thought to put Jason in my Final 3.  While he didn't show the personality of a Jerry, Emmitt, Apolo... he is certainly a good-looking guy and was really quite good on his first outing.  While I have to say I am not familiar with him (shocking I know that I don't follow pro football!), I think he'll do okay.

My wildcard pick is Marissa.  Definitely coming in without household name recognition, there is no doubt she immediately won legions of fans with her bubbly personality on and off the dance the floor.  I didn't think I stopped smiling once during her first performance... and that alone should take her far.