Whine & Cheese: Gold, Frankincense, and Myr-oist Brownies!

WARNING: Politically and religiously incorrect post ahead!

This is not an advertisement.

Although this is the place I ordered baked goods gift baskets for family members (who have enjoyed them in the past), this company got more than enough money out of me that I don't feel obligated to provide a link or mention their name outside of the un-croppable (as far as the company name goes) graphic below...

But this "it's not too late to spend even more money with us" e-mail pretty much made me spray out a almost made me spray out a mouthful of coffee this morning.

It just totally cracked me up... and got my snark-filled juices bubbling...

So let's listen in on a Republican Christmas Iowa Caucus Cookie Exchange:

Mary: Helen sure does make some heavenly lemon bars... but did you see her cookie tin?

Margaret: I know! She seems so religious... I see her at mass every week and she even switching to Huckabee.

Mary: Now granted that Mitt is a looker... but do those people even celebrate the birth of Christ? Oh, wait I think I may be confused... they do, they do! But they just think our Savior was born in upstate New York, right? Or is it Missouri?

Margaret: Hmmm... you know, I'm really not sure either!

Mary: But really?!?! Helen coming to the party with a secular cookie tin!

Margaret: Frosty the Snowman !!!

Mary: ... and, don't forget, Rudolph too!

Margaret: And I couldn't care less if it was one of Oprah's favorite thinnnnnnnnnggggggs!

Mary: Ugh... don't even get me started on Opra-ma!

Margaret: To think I used to like her, traitor!

Mary: I know, well... thank goodness we still have Condi!

Margaret: But back to Helen... obviously she is unaware that there are other choices when it comes to holding and transporting baked goods!

Mary: Now Margaret, you're aren't turning Pro-Choice on us now? Haha!

Margaret: Oh Mary, bite your tongue! Though that does remind me... what day am I scheduled to chant "baby murderer"... err... I mean.... pray... in front of Planned Parenthood next week?!? But anyhooo, Helen should know there are cookie tins available for those who wish to recognize the religious nature of the Christmas holiday.

Mary: Amen to that, girlfriend. There is nothing that says "let's celebrate the birth of Christ" better than a the The Three Kings and Star of Bethlehem tastefully rendered on an oval-shaped, aluminum cookie tin.

Margaret: And speaking of tasteful, it's even yummier inside!

Mary: Tell me about it... 4 Mini-Teacakes, 5 moist and chewy Brownies, 50 Gingerbread Mini-Cookies, 6 Oatmeal Fruit and Nut Cookies, 6 Gingerbread Cookies, a Lemon Square, Peppermint Twists and 4 Chocolate Truffle Cookies.

Margaret: Oh my... that much!?! It's practically a miracle.

Mary: Oh Margaret!

Margaret: Oh Mary! Now what's this I hear about that nice Josh Groban boy is Jewish.^[1]

[1] - According to Wikipedia, Josh's father was Jewish but converted to Christianity after marriage... thus that nice Josh Groban boy was raised Anglican-Episcopalian.