Clash of the Choirs

It should come as no surprise that we are watching Clash of the Choirs.

I will just toss aside any modicum of political correctness and reiterate my belief that inside every gay man there is a big, black, and beautiful woman wanting to come out... and there is nothing better about a choir than a big, black, and beautiful woman... so committing ourselves to this holiday "event"... and only for 4 nights... was pretty much a no-brainer.

For those of you not watching, the premise is five musical talents recruiting and leading a choir of 20 people from their home town... the public will vote out a choir each night and the winner earns $250k for a hometown charity. 

As viewers, we are forced to choose among charitable organizations for intensive care units for babies, food shelters, battered women, people left homeless by natural disasters.  Yikes!  And if that isn't enough, each choir had personal stories meant to tug at your heartstrings (to varying degrees of success).   Here are the choirs and my thoughts (in order of performance):

Team Nick Lachey
Hometown:  Cincinnati
Song: "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield
Sad Choir Story:  Father and Daughter choir members with wife/Mom going through cancer treatments
Verdict:  Surprisingly enough, the song works great -- quite uplifting and spiritual which was never the vibe I got while listening to the original... and c'mon how darn cute was Nick leading the choir... with that smile that could melt away any ice storm.

Team Kelly Rowland
Hometown:  Houston
Song: "Freedom" by George Michael
Sad Choir Story:  Weepy Hurricane Katrina refugee with a singing voice that has likely sent Simon Cowell to an early grave
Verdict:  After being surprised by Nick's choir's interpretation I was less impressed with "Freedom" as a choir choice.

Team Michael Bolton
Hometown:  New Haven
Song: "Living on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi
Sad Choir Story:  Formerly abused woman... and while not sad, a very cute old lady to win us over (in the post performance interview, the host asked her if singing made her feel "youthful" and she heard it as "useful" and answered it that way!)
Verdict:  Another song that didn't quite make a good choir transition... but my main quibble here was that the performance basically felt like a lead singer with a back-up group of 19 people.  While the lead guy was quite good, it's Clash of the Choirs ... not Clash of the Singer Too Old to Be on American Idol.

Team Blake Shelton
Hometown:  Oklahoma City
Song: "Life is a Highway" by Tom Cochrane (thought I'm guessing these days some folks think it's by Rascal Flatts)
Sad Choir Story:  Multiple military service men... and a pair of hunky brothers, ultimately separated as there was only one spot left in the choir for that singing voice type.
Verdict:  While at least the other celebs were faking it, country singer Shelton was amusing in his "I don't know what the hell I'm doing?" approach to the choir.  But whatever he did (or didn't do) worked... this song took on a spiritual quality when belted out by the choir.

Team Patti LaBelle
Hometown:  Philadelphia
Song: "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands" by ???
Sad Choir Story:  Not much... a woman who lost 140 lbs?
Verdict:  Labelle... excuse me, Miss Patti... had, by far, the best bumper piece, providing the laugh out loud moments of the night... giggling under her fabulous hat at the bad auditions and rolling her eyes and yelling at people to stop singing "Lady Marmalade."   But c'mon, did you think for a milli-second that Miss Patti would NOT have a kick-ass choir?!!   

My order of finish:
1st - Choir Miss Patti
2nd - Choir Shelton
3rd - Choir Lachey
4th - Choir Rowland
5th - Choir Bolton

Comments

[Mark]

I agree completely with your critique. Bolton's transition to a choir just didn't work, while Shelton's was surprisingly good. Labelle's group was pretty conventional until they picked up and did that back and forth riff...that was awesome and unique.

-Mark