DWTS5: Official Pix

The pix for the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars are up on the official ABC website, but to save you the time of having to open and close each "celebrity" here's everybody in the ballroom finery (pardon my text copy-and-paste on the pairings):

Melanie Brown (aka Scary Spice of The Spice Girls) with Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Sabrina Bryan (Disney Channel's "Cheetah Girls") with first-timer Mark Ballas
Helio Castroneves (2-time Indy 500 winner) with defending champ, Julianne Hough

Mark Cuban (NBA Dallas Mavericks owner) with Kym Johnson
Jennie Garth ("Beverly Hills 90210") with first-timer Derek Hough (Julianne's brother)
Josie Maran (Model/Actress???) with Alec Mazo

Cameron Mathison ("All My Children") with Edyta Sliwinska
"Pretty Boy" Floyd Mayweather (Boxing champ) with Karina Smirnoff
Wayne Newton (Singer/Vegas Icon) with Cheryl Burke

Marie Osmond (Singer) with Jonathan Roberts
Albert Reed (Model) with Anna Trebunskaya
Jane Seymour (Actress) with Tony Dovolani

Some commentary based solely on these pictures...

Kym and Cheryl are really, really (really!) trying to smile.

Jennie Garth will need to loosen up as much as her 90210 counterpart, Ian Ziering, last season.

Jane Seymour will easily outlast Marie Osmond (not that I needed a picture to think that)... and does Marie look a bit... Paula Abdul-ish "relaxed"  in that pic?

Mel & Max and Karina & Floyd for the finale?!?

Comments

[Scott-O-Rama]

As you know, I don't watch the show (it's no 'So You Think You Can Dance'), but I liked looking at these pictures.

Mark Cuban is incredibly full of himself. He sold his web company, broadcast.com, to Yahoo! in the early days of the Internet before the bubble burst.

Marie Osmond looks like she's had a MAJOR amount of work done on her face. If you hadn't labeled the pictures, I'm not sure I would have recognized her.

Mark Ballas looks like he's 16.

I don't know who Helio is, but I might have to start watching the Indy 500.

My lingering thought though is: these people qualify as "stars"?

[Drew]

Paula Abdulish totally needs to be entered into the modern lexicon.

You know that Cheryl and Kym are thinking, "This is what I've been reduced to. What the fuck?"

I agree with your final prediction. Derek Hough looks like Christopher Atkins on Dallas back in the 80s. I'm just saying.