Whine & Cheese

Back Seat Action?!?

One of my greatest amusements in maintaining this blog is checking out search hits. 

I would guess 70-80% of the time, folks will not find what they are looking for... one search word/phrase coming from one post with (an)other being pulled from a completely different and unrelated entry.

A perfect example of this is item #12 below...

...since I don't quite recall ever doing the horizontal shuffle in my MINI... let alone blogging about it.

But I couldn't help but wonder ... what exactly was this person hoping to find?!?!

Tips? Pictures?  If it's at all possible?  And if so, how to do it with any kind of comfort?!

But it put a smile on my face.

Now as far as the other searches go, while I dabble in #11 at W&C occasionally... I would likely send them over to Scott's if they are looking for that type of home.

And, believe it or not, I can help with the other one... on a lark, I posted some pix from a certain episode of Desperate Housewives that featured #13 (well kinda)... and over the past year, it has proven to be one of my most steady and popular search hits.

Serena On Her Humps

Over Friday night dinner, Todd asked me what I expected from our post-dinner activity... that being, of course, watching the women's final at the Australian Open.  I said that Maria Sharapova should (and likely would) win, but that you just never know with Serena Williams.  I added that it was a testament to Serena's talent that she even reached the final given that to me (and many others, including "professionals") she did not appear in great physical shape.

Fast-forward... Serena demolishes Sharapova 6-1, 6-2 in just over an hour, ending a two-year title drought after winning the 2005 Aussie Open.  During the match, I admit to re-evaluating my "fitness" comment.  Let's just say, Serena looked a whole lot better when she was trouncing the soon to be #1 ranked player off the court vs. the matches where she struggled against some non-household names.

I couldn't help but smile when I read her response to this particular criticism... it is classic Serena...

"I'm definitely in better shape than I get credit for. Just because I have large bosoms and I have a big ass. I swear my waist is 29-30 inches. I swear I have the smallest waist. And just because I have those two 'assets' it looks like I'm not fit. I was just in the locker room staring at my body and I'm like, 'Am I not fit? Am I really not fit? Or is it just because I have all these extra assets that I look not fit.' I think if I were not to eat for two years I still wouldn't be a size 2. No matter how slim I am, I always have this [points] and that [points]. We're living in a Mary-Kate Olsen world. I'm just not built that way. I'm bootylicious and that's how it's always going to be."

(The above quote was shamelessly borrowed from SI's Jon Wertheim Parting Shots from the 2007 Australian Open column)

700 Sundays

Work is currently "off the deep end" busy... so I will try to keep this short and maintain my sanity.  As a self-employed person I should be thrilled since the more $$$ the company makes, the more $$$ I make... but at certain times I'd sacrifice one for the other... but alas, that is not the subject of today's post.

This past Saturday night we went to see Billy Crystal's one-man show 700 Sundays.  Honestly, I was surprised when this popped up as one of our "bonus" shows... we don't often get "direct from Broadway" stars traipsing through Tempe, AZ... let alone stars in a one-person show.  While seeing Crystal was not the most hip thing we've ever done (the audience did skew a tad older), it was still a really enjoyable evening of laughs.. and even a few tears, okay maybe lump or two in one's throat.

Crystal comes out onto the stage in front of a replica of his childhood Long Beach, NY home.. and tells stories of his youth.  His family is filled with a lot of characters (what family isn't!?!), but they are very close.  Not well-off by any means, Crystal's father has to work so hard to support his family that Sunday ends up being the only day of the week young Billy can spend any quality time with his father.  When his father unexpectedly dies, the then 15-year old calculates that he had only 700 Sundays with his father.

While there were many family stories that Crystal shares that anyone could relate to, Crystal may have not had a "typical" childhood.  I, for one, was not aware that his father was involved in the music business.  So the likes of  jazz legends Duke Ellington and Louis Armstrong might be around the house or at work... even Billie Holliday took him to his first movie. 

So quite interesting and some nice creativity was show when Billy would share home pictures or movies (the "windows" of the house turned into screens).  The first half of the show has most of the laughs while the second "act" gets a bit more serious, delving into his father's death as well as the his beloved mother who just passed away just few years ago. 

My only complaint... and seemingly usual complaint when it comes to theater these days... is that it was a bit too long.  Crystal did 90 minutes before breaking for a 15-minute intermission... then came back out for a second act that was nearly as long.   But you definitely could not have complained that you didn't get your money's worth (though I would have achieved that even if the show was an hour less!).

I would most certainly recommend the show.  However, Crystal is really taking it out the road.  After taking some time off to spend with his grandchildren (one of them "new" I believe), his two-week stop here was just preparation as he takes the show to Australia and England.  So while that might be a little long of a ways to go to see a show, you could likely to worse!

Show Time

I know you are just dying to know whether I am reading Oprah's next book club selection.  Well, it's still 3 hours before the show airs here, but I knew the Internets would "spoil" the surprise before the show. 

Winfrey chooses Sidney Poitier memoir

Bleh!  I am sure Poitier's memoir is very good... but it's just not something that I see myself running out to get and curl up with at night.  The book club announcement proved one of my favorite adages... the anticipation of the event is often greater than the event itself.  One thing I like about the O's book club is that you do feel part of this communal experience.  So onward with my own reading list!  And I am sure it's just a coincidence that Poitier is going to be interviewed (by Jamie Foxx) on Oprah's Oscar-ish primetime special.

But onto, the main subject of this post... we're going to be quite the busy theater-goers... 3 shows between tomorrow night and February 17th... yikes!

We have season tix to the Broadway series and this year they offered 3 "bonus" shows...  just in case shelling out the $$$ for 5-6 shows just was not enough.  These extra shows are often returning engagements or something that might not appeal to the usual demographic (in our locale  that would be middle-aged women who drag their husbands to the shows).  Often we'll pick up an extra show, but this time I coerced tricked drugged Todd was happy to go to all three... 2 of the extras are during this time period and sandwiching a regular season ticket show.

What's nice about the bonus shows is that we are often able to purchase tix before they go on sale to the non-season ticket holders... and also that we are able to go on a Saturday night.  Our season tickets are on Friday night... and in a true sign that we are getting old... it has been really difficult lately  to get excited to go anywhere on a Friday night... now granted we always eat out on Friday nights, but that does not require much of a attention span.

Stay tuned... I am sure the shows will be future blog material, especially since [gasp!] I have felt a bit of an "idea drought" of late... ok, a few hints.. the first is a celebrity one-man show, the second one we haven't seen but it should bee good, and the third is one of our all-time favorites (which we will be seeing for a 3rd time).    

What Is The What (#2)

The universe seemed to be calling me out to read Dave Eggers' novel What Is The What: The Autobiography of Valentino Achak Deng.

During the holidays, and just within a few days of each other, we watched the movie Hotel Rwanda on cable... I received an e-mail from our local independent bookstore about a signing event for this book... which then posed the question in my head, "Where had I heard of this book before?"... and then I recalled that both Time and People had named it one of the best books of 2006 (and since it has been named as a finalist for the National Book Critics Circle prize). 

If you are trying to figure out the Hotel Rwanda connection, the book is about the genocide in the Sudan through the eyes of one of its "Lost Boys." So like the tragedies in Rwanda and not unlike the current one is the Darfur region of the Sudan.

So you may recall that I teased that I went to a book signing event without the author.  This was the one.  An overflow crowd at the bookstore had the privilege of meeting and listening to the real-life inspiration for the book... Valentino Achak Deng. 

In this post-Frey memoir world, Eggers and Deng made the decision to make this a novel to allow some creative license (particularly since Deng is recalling events when he was a young child). However, any "fictionalization" takes nothing away from this work... even if Deng experienced even 5% of what was told in this book, it is far more than any human should have to suffer.

The story is primarily told through flashbacks with Deng (along with thousands of dubbed, Lost Boys) re-settled in the United States.  We follow Deng as he is forced to flee his village after it is ravaged by rebels and walk hundreds of miles to refugee camps in Ethiopia and Kenya.  If you think life got any easier "the greatest country in the world" you would be wrong.  Ominously enough, Deng was scheduled to arrive in the U.S. on September 11th, 2001 (no creative license there, that was the truth). 

It is quite a compelling read and very well-done.  The New York Times called the novel " a startling act of literary ventriloquism."  I have not read any of Eggers' works (that may be corrected), but I was amazed that I could hear Valentino's voice while reading this book.  After years of interviews and other communication with Deng, Eggers quite accurately captures his tempo.

If you are wondering about the title of the book, it comes from a sort of Sudanese "Let's Make a Deal" folk tale.  I am not giving anything away here... this story is told fairly early on in the book.  God gives the Sudanese people a choice between cattle (the known) and the "what" (the unknown).  This is a test.  Will man choose to accept and appreciate what is being offered or trade it for something else?   They choose "correctly" and accept the cattle... while you never hear regret and obsession over it, the  question seems to hang out there... what would life be if they chose differently... what is the what?

2007 10K Reading Challenge:  + 468 pages

State of Disinterest

I just couldn't quite get around to sitting down to watch The State of the Union speech last night.  Now, I am not sure how many of you do (regardless of who the President is) but it was probably the first one I missed in quite some time. 

Now before you get all impressed... much like the Deal of No Deal (what is my obsession with that of late?!), I like to have fun while watching it... often enthusiastically applauding along to the usual standing-O staples of children (after all, they are our future), little old ladies, and the troops. 

But I have just about had my fill of W.  Granted this is my usual disposition, but I just didn't have it in me to listen to him speak for extended length of time this time around.  Now, I should have at least supported the Democratic majorities in Congress... but the Commander in Chief's sudden interest in bipartisanship would have probably just ticked me off.  While we did catch a few minutes of it over dinner, I'll wait for tonight's news and The Daily Show to whittle it down.

While we were chowing down, we saw the standard shot of POSTUS, VPOTUS, and the Speaker of the House (I guess SOTH?).

Now while Speaker Pelosi is showing a bit of 'tude in that photo, I said to Todd it would be much more fun if she at least rolled her eyes a time or two. 

I really would have loved for her to break into some Aunt Linda from Saturday Night Live.

Kristin Wiig's Aunt Linda, a movie reviewing "relative" of Amy Poehler on Weekend Update, is about the funniest thing on the show these days (I realize that's not saying much!)... but her facial expressions and speaking voice are just priceless... she kinda looks like a blond version of Pelosi don't you think?

(Thanks to Jeff who reminded me Wiig has portrayed Pelosi on SNL... check out the comments, Jeff was nice enough to provide a link to that opening sketch.  Alas, I could not find any "Aunt Linda" videos... one was apparently removed from YouTube).

Also, we were not watching long enough, but pretty nice and convenient that Barack and Hillary were in the same shot...   

Though do you think there is a little editorializing being done in this photo?

Interesting photo... and I guess I am not alone, since it made it in pool of available photos from last night.   Care to play "caption this"?

I'll go with ... Watch Your B(ar)ack.

While I hope I am wrong, my gut tells me that, for all those politically incorrect reasons, neither will be the next President.

Josh Du-Ha-Swell

Work is being kind of a bitch today. I don't think I have a coherent post in me and even I did I fear it wold be too grumpy even for a blog called Whine & Cheese.

The fall back?  Eye candy, of course.  Admittedly, I am feeling a bit defensive since I have to restore the integrity of my blog.  On a recent post where I offered up my favorite Deal or No Deal ladies, I had a comment from Scott (not my two "usual" Scotts!) saying all the lovely gals on my page made him wonder what team I really played for.  Spit-take and my other half thanks you for the chuckle.  So nevertheless I feel the need to get back on track... no need to be throwin' around that "s

I watch NBC's Las Vegas for at least one reason: to sit doe-eyed in front of my television screen and watch Josh Duhamel.  Well, on last week's episode ("Wagers of Sin"), there was one scene that was more "deer in the headlights!"

Now on Vegas, it's usually the ladies that are teasing away. I am still waiting for the episode where one of Nikki Cox's boobs does pop out... but this time Josh was providing the humps.   

Anyhow in this very hard-hitting episode, Danny McCoy (Josh) has to go "undercover" to catch a room-key stealing ring... so naturally he does this out by the Montecito swimming pool.  Initially, he is in some conservative board shorts, but strips 'em off to this:

In the immortal words of Wayne & Garth... sccchwwing!

(Oh, these photos have been all over blog-land... so I am going to be a bad boy and not give credit...  and to tell you the truth, I kind of forgot where I saw 'em first!).

Of course, if a static image is not enough.. the scene is on YouTube (of course!):

tags:  josh duhamel

OBook OClub Oturns!

Oprah's next book club selection will be announced on this Friday's show (Jan 26th).  To explain the post title, I figure if Apple can just add an "i" in front of words to make it their own, I figure "Lady O" can do the same with her very own vowel.

It has been over a year since the last selection.  Me thinks, the delay is just a O's fed-up-ness after the whole James Frey thing.  Elie Weisel's "Night" was officially the last book club selection, but I am  guessing it was already past the point of no return by the time the heat got turned up on the Frey-ing pan.  Likewise, one remembers the O book club was almost permanently sent out to pasture when Jonathan Franzen refused to participate when O chose "The Corrections."

This past Friday afternoon, I received an email about the big book club announcement.

I chuckled when the email told me they "wanted you to be the first to know!"

Ummm.. they better tell their friends at O!mazon to hold their horses a little bit... since first thing on Tuesday morning (almost 4 full days earlier), I received this email:

Participating in Oprah's book club is kind of a mixed bag for me.  I hate to be so Pavlonian (Must. Buy. Book. Now.)... but, then again, she hasn't lead me astray when it comes to her selections (though the Faulkner trilogy was on the cusp of being unforgivable).

I have probably read about 60-70% of her book club selections (when she was hot and heavy in the early days with a book every month I didn't keep up), so I guess I will just wait and see what the book is and go from there.

I will likely finish my 3rd book of 2007 before Friday (and have yet to blog about my 2nd book!)... plus I already have a backlog of five books that I have bought in the past several weeks, so it's not like I need another one... but being a chronic book buyer, that certainly has never stopped me before.

So keep your eyes on the upper part of the sidebar next week to see if jumped on the O-wagon O-gain!

Open The Case

One of my many (many!) guilty pleasures on television is Deal or No Deal.

It's "turn your brain off" fun.  It just cracks me up when the contestant, Howie, or one of the ladies pretend they have some control of what dollar amount will be in the case.  I like to participate as well.  I will whoop and holler when the ladies come out and applaud or groan depending on what's in the case.  Now, this is not necessarily for Todd's entertainment benefit, I've been known to do this even when watching the show myself.  And no, alcohol is not usually involved.

Since W&C rarely showcases pretty ladies, I figured I shake it up a bit and present you...

My Top 5 Deal or No Deal gals.

From left to right, and in alphabetical order by name..
Anya (#10), Claudia (#1), Hayley (#25), Meghan (#24), and Tameka (#21)

While I love the Deal ladies, don't you think it would be special "boys" night with male models... maybe even get a female guest-host!?  Hey, Kathy Griffin is in the family via Bravo... now that would be hilarious!

Express Eeeew

WARNING: This post has "gross-out" potential.

Continuing "WTF next?" week, yesterday I ended up at the vet with Toby.

Every 4-6 months, Toby the basset hound gets the idea in his head that he is an athletic dog.  He'll come gimping into the room after throwing out one of his front legs.  When he has this limp it tends to come and go.  Sometimes you think he is perfectly fine only to see him doing his best impression of the Hunchback of Notre Dame a couple of hours later.  He still wants to go out for his daily walk.  But the other day, I just made it past a couple of houses before I turned him around and came home.

Unfortunately, he didn't have any medication left from the 3 or 4 other times we have been to the vet for this very issue.  I got a same-day appointment, but at 4pm... which is never good.  That late in the day the vet office gets so backlogged from a full afternoon of pets.  I arrived at 3:45p and didn't even get into an exam room until 4:20p.  There was a guy with his dog who was there when I got there and just eventually got up and left (which was too bad since I got into a room about 3 minutes after he left). 

So to make a long story short.  Toby got his usual pain meds... with limited or no walks depending on how he and the leg are acting (we went out for a short walk today and he did pretty well). 

But in a "since I am here" moment, I off-handedly mentioned that he seemed to be licking his backside a bit more than normal... not obsessively but enough that there was a little stain spot on his rump. 

If you have a dog, you may just know where this is going (especially given the title of this post). 

So, Toby's @nal sacs were huuuuge!  (Yes, I am in "search hit prevention mode" using the @ sign). So they needed to be "expressed."   Now I knew dogs had these things, but my knowledge was pretty limited.  So when Toby returned from the "back room" I asked... ok, so what's going on here?

Now I won't get into the graphic details. The doc said he could even show me how to do it... but warned the "result" is very odoriferous and ... ahem... can potentially shoot 6-8 feet.  I am sure my facial expression was priceless at this point.  The "expression" was successful... apparently no need for concern and everything looked fine. 

Do it myself?  I think not.  This is perhaps the best $25.65 I spent for any type of service in a loooong time!