Whine & Cheese

Slow Man

I think I finally got my reading mojo back... with a book with a little more substance... 

J.M. Coetzee has been on my radar for some time now.  As you may be able to see in that graphic to the left, he has won the Nobel Prize for Literature... while that isn't a guarantee that I will like the an author, it is at least a good reason to give them a try.  His acclaimed book Disgrace was my likely choice... but when I was browsing the "Buy 3 Books For The Price of 2" table (you know I love that!), there was Slow Man... so I figured I'd give it a try.

I am happy to report that I wasn't disappointed in the least.  It most certainly has a "literary" feel to it, but easy reading and interesting.  The title character is 60-ish year old Paul Rayment who has part of his leg amputated after a car hits him while on a bicycle ride (thus, the explanation of the cover art). Things get complicated when Paul begins to fall in love with his "married with kids" home nurse. Pretty simple, huh?

While that is interesting enough, Paul's story certainly makes one ponder what you would do if a random act completely changed the course of your life. Not a pleasant thought, but still.  Perhaps, even more depressing (!!), was relating to Paul's status as a man without children and no extended family nearby... is one's life destined to be, literally, in the hands of strangers once you are elderly and/or infirm. 

Ok, I am not selling this book very well at all... but trust me it really is quite good.   I think it is a good thing when a novel makes you think beyond the written page.  However, I should say that something a little strange happens about halfway through the book.

I have yet to be accused of ruining a book (ironically enough, I suspect my "book reviews" are my least read posts!) and usually avoid "spoilers" here, but I have to mention this particular part of the book, so if for some reason you do NOT want to know some details... skip the next paragraph.

Ok, for those of you daring to read on... a character is introduced... an author named Elizabeth Costello.  She just pops up pretty much out of nowhere and has this omniscience... her first words are the opening lines of the novel... and she has detailed knowledge of Paul and other characters.  Her presence is never explained... but at least to me (and I could be totally wrong)... I think she is the author of Paul's story and literally interacting with the characters in the book... trying to manipulate their behavior.  So it a whole other layer and an extra blur of fact and fiction (though it's all fiction... aaah!).  It was quite the twist, I liked it... but I can definitely see where it would be far too pretentious for some.
END SPOILER

The book also offers some good "life" advice, with Paul being told:

Live like a hero.  That is what the classics teach us.  Be a main character.  Otherwise what is life for?

Well, that's pretty hard to follow!  So, I'll just leave it at that!   Go out and be a main character!

tags: jm coetzee,  slow man

Our First President

No, this post is not about George Washington...

For the first time ever, we met a US President... well, "met" is going waaaay too far... let's say... glimpsed the 39th President of the United States... Jimmy Carter.

President Carter was in town last night signing his latest book, Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid and also his previous one, Our Endangered Values.

As soon as I found out the President was coming to town, I ran over to the book store to reserve our books and, more importantly, our place in line.  Despite being an "early bird", we were in signing group "D"... which still put us several hundred people back.  The event sold out last week with 1,600 books.

It was an absolute mob.  The line of 1,600+ folks wrapped around the entire strip mall... all four major networks plus an independent local station with reporters trucks and cameras on hand, the event being filmed for a documentary about the book tour (directed by Jonathan Demme... no, didn't see him), and a good deal of protesters.  This book has been pretty controversial ... Jewish groups were protesting and later joined by local Palestinians (go figure?!) in support.  One man seemed particularly proud to show those waiting in line his sign that said "Carter, Apologist for Islamic Fascism". 

Yeah, the pretty much sums up the 82-year old Nobel Peace Prize winner who brokered the only Middle East peace deal in my lifetime and spent the weekend building homes in New Orleans for Habitat for Humanity!   If  you'd like, I provided links below with some of the controversies (among other things, it has been called: anti-Semitic, factually inaccurate, plagiarized).

So, we're in line nearly an hour and half before we get into the bookstore.   There had been announcement that the only thing you would be allowed to bring in was the book, car keys, and a wallet.  No purses, no cameras, no cell phones, no food, no drink, etc., etc.   I joked that they were going to ask us to take off our shoes... and believe me, if they did that would be one of the nicer things that would have happened.

I am not blaming the bookstore or Carter... it did not end up being a very pleasant experience. There must have been some good reason for the security and the attitude that we experienced... but still.

It all started when we were being yelled at to start moving up the line.  C'mon, C'mon, Let's go, Let's go were the sudden cry from the security detail near the door.   I was "wanded" in the front, asked to turn around (needless to say without a "please"), wanded again, and my front pockets padded down (they contained the allowable car keys and wallet).

Once entering the bookstore, it felt like you were in a prison.  People constantly yelling at you "keep moving, keep moving" as you snaked through the store... rounding a corner, you were yelled at to "open the book to the title page... quickly, quickly, this has to go quick". 

You then handed your book to one person, who handed it to another, who handed it to another, who handed it to President Carter.  We were at least 4 feet away from the table were told to "keep moving, keep moving"... so you didn't even get a chance to see your book being signed and given the volume and speed of the books, Carter only occasionally looked up at the line that was moving in front of him.  Three more people got your book back to you... and you were told to "keep moving, keep moving" out of the store. 

I wasn't terribly pleased... but heck, still happy to knock something off our hypothetical/Earl-ish To-Do list... #67. See a US President in-person... even if it lasted less the 15 seconds and we were being yelled at the entire time.  I am glad that above picture is from last night's book signing... at least I can see what President Jimmy looked like!

This makes the Hillary Clinton book signing all the more amazing...  granted she wasn't an ex-president (well, "officially"... me thinks she was might powerful in her White House days)... but she extended her hand out for a shake and almost expected some verbal interaction.  That's something I will always look fondly back on... last night, will likely have much different memories.

UPDATE:  Lying in bed last night and remembered that I forgot to mention yet another wacko "security measure"... as we were walking through the bookstore, they were yelling at us "keep you hands out of your pockets... keep your hands up... no hands in pockets"... it was all very, very strange!

Related Links:
AZ Republic: Carter book signing brings out protestors
NPR : Jimmy Carter's Book Stirs Criticism, Complaint
Alan Dershowitz Book Review: The World According to Carter
The Columbus Dispatch: Ex-president’s book stirs controversy (Q&A with Jimmy Carter)

Chicks, The Bathroom Rug & Lighted Monkeys

Kind of  sounds like one of those Johnny Carson's "Carnac the Magnificent" sketches doesn't it? 

The answer...

What are three memorable things about this past Saturday night?

We got together with Scott & Buckaroo again this past weekend for some dinner and Zoo Lights.  Since Scott saved me from blogging about last weekend's activities, I thought it was only fair that I return the favor this week (and hello to those visiting from Mr. O'Rama's post from today).

Anyhow, Zoo Lights has become a big holiday tradition here in Phoenix... that said, it's something that neither myself and Todd have never been to/done before.  Basically, it's a huge and animal-oriented holiday light display at the Zoo (and magically, except for some ducks and 2 zebras, all the real animals vanish, where I don't know!?!). 

Onto the explanations...

First up, was dinner at a long-time Mexican restaurant... it's been around for decades, so here in Phoenix, that makes it an icon.  To add to the allure (for some!), Dubya stopped in for a bite one time when he was in town.  So while you know how I feel about the man, it is still certainly an honor to have the highest office holder in the land stop in your establishment.  Of course, there are photos of the visit and even a "President's Special" on the menu.  But the "Viva Bush!" bumper sticker up on the wall proved a bit too much for a quartet of gay guys.  So while checking out the digital jukebox in the waiting area/bar, we got a bit mischievous.  It was a no brainer... first up, some Dixie Chicks and Wide Open Spaces... and the follow-up, ABBA's Dancing Queen... that one sent Todd & Buckaroo moving away from myself and Scott and had an employee scratching their head over who put that one on. 

Next up was a short ride over to the zoo... and, well it was really a zoo... the zoo parking was full, so we ended up at a parking lot a good mile away and walking in (there was a shuttle available, but the lines were just crazy for that as well).  So while waiting in line with thousands of other folks, it was primetime for people watching.  One woman continually caught our eye... it appeared she was wearing a coat/shawl made from a bathroom rug.  We were tempted to pick it up and see if there was no-skid rubber on the other side... and I was wondered if she had a matching beret made from a toilet seat cover!

Finally, we ended up giving Todd a very hard time through much of Zoo Lights... Scott and Buckaroo are kindred spirits...  give us any kind of opening and we'll milk it for all its worth.  Now, not that Todd is guilt-free from this particular activity, but he was just the unwilling victim on Saturday night. 

So one of us would call out... "Oh look, monkeys!"  ... now, of course in a zoo on any other day, you would be looking for real-life, living and breathing monkeys... so Todd (again, very innocently) asked "Where?" and we would point... "Oh, lighted monkeys, not real monkeys."  This was repeated with a giraffe... and from that point on it become a running joke, usually done on purpose.

So a lot of fun... though I am guessing, now that I am done with this entry, it may fall under the "you had to be there" humor category.

TAR10: EZ Pass It

Thoughts on the TAR10 finale "Say Your Deepest Prayers Ever"... as always, at least once a year God must turn his/her attention to decide who will win a reality competition show.

I'm not sure about this 1-hour finale to the TAR... didn't it seem a little cut-short/rushed to you?  No last minute challenges once the teams returned to the States (remember when BJ & Tyler and Eric & Jeremy were figuring out the flags... or even the Linz and Bransen families putting together that last jigsaw puzzle map)... heck, there wasn't even a long run to the finish!  Couldn't the cabbies just have dropped the teams off at the mat?!

So much of the morning after buzz is whether the toll-booth EZ Pass decided the winner?  The editing really makes it impossible to figure out how close Rob/Kim were behind... perhaps we'll find out on postmortem on The Early Show, but it seems like it could have been (again, one reason I don't mind a little challenge at the end).  I guess we'll find out in future season if Racers start asking their cabbie if they have EZ Pass... and, on a side note, apparently if you really need to get on a plane the "I'm racing around the world for $1 million" line seems to work (though you probably need to have a camera and sound person tagging along). 

At least the finale still had a couple of interesting moments. Tyler and James had their little spat at the airport... Tyler was probably just stunned that James had an idea with the suggestion of trying to book that all important final trans-Atlantic flight on the Internet.   At least it all worked out for them in the end (how they and Rob/Kim got on that flight I really don't know).  I have a feeling if they missed that flight Tyler would have never heard the end of it (and, I guess, deservedly so).

The other was Rob's skydive obsession.  I don't know if Kim is prepared for a lifetime of this, but this guy is a pitbull when it comes to letting things go.  Hopefully, in the few months that have passed since the finish, Rob has had a chance to do his frickin' skydive.  From what I hear, skydiving is not too hard to find, even here in the States... not just a little airport outside of Paris.  If they had won the million, Rob would have been ... "Well, Phil that's great, but I really wanted to do that skydive."

And I have to give 'Bama, Lyn and Karlyn, props.  Too bad with that missed flight that they dropped out of contention for the prize... because they were certainly falling into to puddles of luck of late.  And I said an "hell, no" when Lyn asked the camera who would have ever thought their team would have made it to the Final 3. Again, hard to believe they were the first all-female team to make it to the finals... and btw, Tyler and James are the 5th (yawn!) all-male team to win the Race... and that's not including the predominantly young and male Linzes of the much loved family edition.

Though I am a little concerned about the Tyler and James, while I certainly give them credit for fighting their drug and/or alcohol addiction... I am thinking $1 million along the illusion of "fame"... plus young, good-looking, in the modeling industry...  is probably a far greater challenge to face beyond racing 40,000+ miles around the world.

So now I have to figure out what I am going to blog about on Mondays!  Though not for too long... pretty stoked to see that the much anticipated Amazing Race: All Stars hits the airwaves in February.  Of course, when the teams are officially announced you know I'll be all over that news!

Holiday Prep

For some reason, I just feel woefully behind for the impending holiday.  I don't know why?  I guess I have been more ahead of the game by this time... it's hard to believe Sunday is already December 10th... double-digit December days (how's that for a little alliteration?!).

As you know the outdoor lights are done, but that's about it.  This weekend it'll be the tree (if not this weekend when?!) and that'll probably be it... if there are some other decorations we stumble upon that are "easy" they'll probably get put out, but I am pretty sure the Christmas village will stay in their boxes this year.

The other day, Todd and I were discussing if this Christmas was going to be our first "solo" one?  Sure enough, neither of us could not muster up a Christmas Eve/Day that we've had all to ourselves... either we've had family in town or one of us has been away... and that's over a decade of Christmases folks!  That said, I am still plotting our traditional Mexican holiday feast... and hopefully we'll have our first "friends" Christmas with Scott and Buckaroo (sound good guys? if so, pencil it in!).    

But I will feel a whole lot better once the following is done....Holiday letter finished, holiday stamps purchased, and Christmas cards to be written out and sent, Packages to family back East (which must go out next week).

I feel I got wimpy with my brother's family.  My family has always been big on "cash" as a gift... so, for me, that gene seems to have segued to giving gift cards.  At least with gift cards, you know what the giver is giving you in absentia.  With cash (and there's still nothing wrong with that!), it just seems to get mixed in with every day activities... is that $20 bill going for groceries or a "real" gift?   So while it may seem lazy to give gift cards, at least the person getting it will get something they want.  My nephew can got to Best Buy and get whatever video game he wants (I don't have a clue!) and my brother and sister-in-law can use their Visa Card for... dinner out, a book, light bulbs, whatever!

Well, I guess that's it...  just needed to get it down in writing... a bit therapeutic to do that!   Have a nice weekend and best of luck to those of you who may be feeling the same! 

Lighting Up, Lighten Up

We put up our outdoor lights on Sunday. I can finally write about it rationally today.

In the Christmas spirit... OY!   It seemed like such a bear this year.   

The "display" is not terribly different from last year's set-up... we have an snow-covered (white lights) "island" with a snow man and a polar bear (both move their heads)... and "moving" water (white chaser lights thru the blue lights) surrounding the island.

But we were dealing with aging strings of lights... so that meant multiple runs to the local home improvement store for replacements... and then, when we were just about done, one of the strings blew a fuse.  We have thousands of lights on the ground... and we had the prospect of finding it and pulling it up... in now a wonderfully and randomly tangled mess on the ground.

So that made me wonder...

Has everyone ever been strangled by a string of holiday lights? Or hung oneself (by the chimney with care, of course!) by that method?

If not, I was threatening to be the first...by either method.

Todd will be the first to admit that this is not his favorite activity of the year... plus he he has to put up with my "artistic vision" for the yard... only adds to the "joy"... though he is incredibly patient with me.   And three hours into it, finding the blown string of lights had me ready to "fall on my knees" ... no hearing any "angels' voices"  O night, not so divine!

To make a long story short (for a change!)... Todd found and replaced the fuse, we took much more care where we were connecting all the lights...and it got done.

Our new additions this year were some green lights to the "island" (it's now partially snow covered)... and a new little isle with an 11-foot pre-light tree (not a "fir"/fake tree, but one of those skeleton-ish trees with twinkling white lights)... and it looks great.

Now at this point, I should be sharing pictures... but I haven't taken any yet.  But now that I have recovered from the trauma, I'll do my best to get out there... though attempting nighttime pix without a tripod (I have one but to find it!) is always dicey... and also today is the first day that I my body has decided to ease up on the achy/sore legs and back... ah Father Time!   

UPDATE: Well, here's a pic:

I fooled with my camera settings (night option, "fireworks") and even used a tripod... but still couldn't quite get a picture to my satisfaction... trust me it looks better in person!   Can't quite seen the green on the main "island" but at least you can't miss the new 11-foot tree!

Mirror, Mirror

Well, work is not being agreeable at all with my blogging schedule today...

So I will thank my buddy Scott for helping me out and posting about our Saturday night fun... we had a great time seeing Scott & Buckaroo's new puppy Karter and celebrating Buckaroo's birthday (though it was sort of a collective party... all four of us have our b-days within about a two-month span of each other)... so click that above link and read all about it.

As for some new material here, I pull out a "rainy day" blog post.

Over Thanksgiving weekend, we headed to a auto show in downtown Phoenix.  It was a chance to see the new expo center as well as a lot of cars (but alas no 2007 MINIs, just the 2006 models).

The snazzy new building was where the outdoor plaza was for Symphony Hall.  I have only been to Symphony Hall once (my "symphony/opera gay gene" is obviously recessive), so it was quite a surprise to see the expo hall and the theater so close together!

They share a pretty impressive glass atrium... and this larger mirror (though now I see it's probably more of a looking glass) definitely caught my eye... though I think that's probably the point!

The words inside the mirror say "Art Is A Guaranty Of Sanity"

Now, if you'll excuse me I have to get back to my insane workload!  (I know I should have taken advantage of some down time last week to get some of that holiday stuff done!)

Getting Stoned with Savages

Continuing on my search for "easy" reads... my next personal no-brainer was Getting Stoned with Savages by J. Maarten Troost.

Last year with our trip to the region, my interest was piqued in the South Pacific... so I picked up Troost's The Sex Lives of Cannibals. That book covered Troost's first experience living in the South Pacific with future wife Sylvia (who managed to snag a job out there).  Stoned is a sequel of sorts as the couple tire of the rat-race of life in the States and decide to give island life another go-round.

Sounds great, huh?  But one can not exactly get great fodder for a book (let alone two of them!) if things are all just tropical drinks and beautiful sunsets. Troost is not living large on Tahiti or Bora Bora. Sex Lives had them on the tiny atoll of Kiribati, while this book has them living in the slightly more populated islands of Vanuatu and Fiji.  But no matter the island, it is clear that everyday life on a South Pacific island is a very different from the luxury experience of the average tourist.   

Both books are very funny and will certainly make you re-think running off to a tropical island for good.  Many of us are familiar with Vanuatu thanks to it being a Survivor locale (Islands of Fire!) a few seasons back.  Now while Troost probably had it slightly easier than those roughing it on a reality shows... but he still has to deal with typhoons and very large insects.  Oh, then there's the "not so distant past" acts of cannibalism and the joys of the kava, a muddy-ish liquid concoction that provides the "stoned" of the title.

The couple next moves on to Fiji... which you think would be better...  as it is a quite popular celebrity vacation spot.  But again, there is a "tourist" side of the island... here, among other things, Troost deals with pesky prostitutes and a house threatened by a mudslide.  As in Vanuatu, the political situation always seems in a constant state of flux... and what do you know, there was a coup just this past week (Fiji's military takes control of nation).  So again, not the idyllic island life of one's dream.

Scanning the Amazon reviews of this book, it seems like a lot of folks thought this book was not as good as the first one.  Granted I can't remember the details of a book I read a month ago... let alone over a year... but I thought this one seemed a little more well (and quickly) paced. 

Definitely a couple of fun books if you are looking for something a little different.

TAR10: You Say Tomato...

Thoughts on last night's TAR episode "Dude, I'm Such A Hot Giant Chick Right Now!":

Not a whole lot of suspense on the penultimate episode of the season... not to say there isn't a surprise.  Dare I say, anyone who said they predicted Alabama would be racing the finish line... well, you lie like a rug!  But despite trying to get us to the believe that the Barbies would manage to stick around for the finale with their yet another abduction of a foreigner quick rebound off the mat... by the time we returned from the last commercial break of the evening it was clear the gals wouldn't be able to over-come being "marked for Philimination."

Kudos to the show for coming up with one of the best detours of the season "Lug It or Lob It"... though "Lug It," where Racers had to don giant costumes and walk the streets of Barcelona, didn't end up being as funny as I thought it would.  Thankfully, that was more than made up in "Lob It"... where the Racers were pounded by locals with tomatoes as they searched a tomato pile of their own for the clue. This is one of those TAR challenges that just doesn't make me laugh... it elicits the sadistic cackle!  Oh, how I was loving Kimberly's breakdown as well as Rob spending more time throwing tomatoes back at the locals than searching for the clue.  The 'Bama Gals weren't nearly as hilarious, though I believe Lyn called one of the locals a bastard after getting conked on the head.... and it was worth a snicker that when both teams arrived at the finish mat that they still had tomato seeds on their faces.

So we're down to the Final 3... and while I wasn't a fan of the Barbies, I think there absence will make for a less competitive race to the finish.  I would have said it was a toss-up if 'Bama had been eliminated this week. 

However, I shouldn't diss 'Bama too badly... since being free of their "alliance" they have managed two 2nd place finishes, and comfortable finishes at that!  So they are certainly the Cinderella team going into the finale... and how about being the first all-female team to make it the final three EVER.  Now, of course, I knew there has never been an all-female winning team (as the Barbies regularly reminded us)... but I was slightly surprised to be reminded that no two ladies ever raced to the finish line together.  Again, you could not have bet me any kind of money that 'Bama would have been the first to do that!  So well deserved congrats on that (especially since it took 10 seasons to be a "first").

That said, I still think our choice will be the Model Boys and Rob/Kim... the Boys have yet to earn even a mention in this post thus far... but it just is no surprise that they're here (despite their 3rd place finish last night).  I think they have to be favorites... though dysfunctional couples do have a history of winning (Flo & Zach, Freddy & Kendra) so who knows!?!?  And Rob's tears at the mat last night, didn't earn any bonus point from me.  (In their update, EW had a "I'm glad they said what I'm thinking" analysis of Rob/Kim's relationship... the piece started off: "Have you ever been at a wedding where you secretly believe that there's no way the marriage will last?").

So next week is the finale (and the first time, I think, it's just an hour long)... so, sure I am rooting for Alabama... I think the Boys probably deserve to (and will) win... but my world wouldn't end if Rob/Kim finish first (unlike TAR6 when Freddy/Kendra beat out Jon/Kris) either.

Express Lane: Issue 20

"Sex" Stud Joins "Brothers & Sisters" - Oh my... Jason Lewis (Smith from "Sex and the City") is joining B&S... as a love interest for Kevin!  Umm, I think I need to excuse myself. (12/1/06)

Cher, Bette ready for Vegas run - They may have to re-name the town Las Gaygas in 2008!  Cher, who will be prepping for her 62nd birthday, moves into the Colosseum in the spring with the Divine Miss M (7 months older than Cher) hitting the Strip later in the year. (11/30/06)

U.S. to unveil new citizenship questions   - Now how do we expect to keep people out of the country, if we ANNOUNCE we're changing the questions?! (11/30/06)

Bravo renews Kathy Griffin's My Life on the D-List for a third season - Good news those of us who can't get enough Kathy... look for six new episodes in 2007. (11/28/06)

Streisand tour breaks 14 venue records... and racks in a cool $92.4+ million in her 20 concert tour... and to think that we were responsible for 0.0006% of that! (11/28/06)

Pamela Anderson divorcing Kid Rock - Another "victory" for the sanctity of marriage!!  Lasting less than 4 months... despite having 3 different wedding ceremonies! (11/27/06)